Fear Has No Place On My Path
Time to send the fear packing!
I’m tired of living in fear. And in this instance, I’m not talking about the fear-based elements of this society. I’m talking about the fears that have kept me from being less than I know I can be.
More than once in my life, I shrank away from doing something I believed I could/should do. Maybe I went halfway, maybe I started. But on too many occasions, I backed down, self-sabotaged, and/or allowed myself and my life to be less than.
While I strive to stay current with what’s happening in the world, I’m also keeping it at a distance. That’s because I know how little I can do for the big picture issues. I see the fear permeating the world and being weaponized, but I mitigate my engagement with it. However, in my own life, I have all the control. When all is said and done, nobody but me knows what’s in my head, heart, and soul.
The fears that have kept me small, that have been obstacles on my path, do not belong. So this is my declaration. Fear has no place on my path. The time has come to move beyond it and the artificial limitations I allow it to manifest. Buh-bye. See ya.
This does, of course, take effort. First, though, an important question.
What IS fear, anyhow?
Once upon a time, back when human beings were hunter-gatherers doing all they could to survive, fear was a defense mechanism. Fear told you to run from the predators, avoid too-swift river currents, stay back from unstable cliff edges, and so on. It was fear that told us there was a threat to our continued existence, and that protected our ancient progenitors. This was how human beings survived, then thrived, to become what we are now (for good or ill).
Humans have evolved in lots of ways. So, too, has fear. Unfortunately, much of how fear evolved was closer to devolution. It stopped protecting us from danger and created new and intangible dangers that seldom pose a threat to life and limb. Yet that didn’t lessen the effect of fear on us.
At its core, fear is a sense of wrongness, something being off, a desire not to do something for your personal safety, and/or a blend of more than one of these. It tells you to be less, do less, and/or avoid “X” for your own good.
When this was associated with survival, as it is for the rest of the Animal Kingdom, it was a literal life saver. Now, unfortunately, fear is often completely intangible and even irrational. For example, my fear of failure, success, or abandonment will not, if they come to pass, result in my death. Sure, they’ll suck if they occur. But as Paulo Coelho aptly points out in The Alchemist,
“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself.”
This sums up the issue with how fear has devolved. It’s less about sparing our lives and more about avoiding suffering, or more often, potential suffering. That’s not the same as avoiding threats to life and limb.
How does this impact my path?
My Pathwalking philosophy is something everyone and anyone can use in their own life. It’s simply this: The meaning of life is TO LIVE. That means experiencing as many things as you can, on every level. Ergo, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. It’s not something to be done recklessly or in any way that might harm others. It’s about looking inside yourself, applying active conscious awareness (i.e., mindfulness), and making frequent choices and decisions for yourself.
This does mean experiencing both good AND bad. But both have purpose, and both can drive us to new and interesting places.
Too many elements of our society and the collective consciousness emphasize merely existing. Go through the motions. Live by rote, routine, and habit. Keep your head down, do your part – or suffer.
That sounds awful to me. So instead, I’ve chosen various unconventional paths. This has been both good and bad for me. When it’s been good, I’ve experienced some amazing things. And when it’s been bad, I struggled, faced undesirable challenges, and allowed fear of suffering to override my desire to choose and decide things.
More than once, instead of taking a chance and living large, I shrank down and let fear drive me. For example, after college, I was so afraid of being abandoned, alone, and friendless that I limited my search for a job in radio. Had I expanded it, been willing to go anywhere to get myself out there, who knows what paths I might have opened? I could have laid the foundation to be one of those go-to voice actors in the world.
But I was scared of being on my own, starting over, so I stayed small and never took that path. All because fear dominated me.
And I am done with fear, thankyouverymuch.
How do I kick fear to the curb?
When I figure that out, I’ll get back to you. Thanks for reading…
No, that’s not where this story ends. There’s no one-shot, end-all-be-all option. It’s going to take work. There are steps between where I am now and where I’m aiming to be.
Bear with me, this is an ongoing, relatively new project. Following some recent revelations about my life, I’m releasing some old, long-standing bullshit and pushing new initiatives forward. To do that, I need to kick fear to the curb.
Step 1: Identify the fear. What am I afraid of? What’s it look like? How will it feel? Is it something concerning or more likely avoidance of possible suffering? Figure that out. One Caveat: This need not be hyper-detailed. That leads to distraction.
Step 2: Recognize and acknowledge the fear. You can identify it and then ignore it, or you can recognize and acknowledge it. The former keeps it going; the latter is how you kick it away.
Step 3: Leave the comfort zone(s). Who doesn’t love being comfortable? Unfortunately, too much comfort can lead to complacency and sitting rather than walking a desired path. So, leaving the comfort zone(s) is a must to get anywhere at all.
Step 4: Make mindful choices and decisions. Can’t get there without work. Work is making my own choices and decisions. I see a path, but unless I take the first steps, I’m not walking it, am I?
Step 5: Rinse and repeat. There will be unexpected challenges, obstacles, and new choices along any given path. Fear will rear its ugly head unbidden. To keep going where I desire to, I might need to repeat any and all of the above steps.
This list is not definitive or set in stone. But this is a great place to start.
Only I know what it is to be me
Who the hell am I? If you meet me, you’ll get a sense of who I am physically. We talk, you might start getting a sense of who I am mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. But only a sense. Even if we get close, become confidants and confederates, you can only know me a little. And likewise, I can only know you a little. The only person in my head, heart, and soul, is me. Similarly, the only one in your head, heart, and soul, is you.
Many things emphasize a need to belong, to fit in, to place our square-peg selves into round holes. I’m all for meeting new people, making new friends and lovers, and peopling in general. However, doing so by being disingenuous to yourself does you and them a disservice.
I’ve lived and learned this many, many times in my life. Every time I tried to force myself to live in a way I thought others wanted me to, I became miserable. Then I’d feed my depression and repeat the pattern.
When I strive to be my most genuine, authentic self, and stop pushing to be someone I’m not, I feel better. It’s easier to make choices and decisions for myself to be myself. Hence, why I’m declaring today that fear has no place on my path. I’m done letting fear stop me from being me.
What will that look like? I don’t know. Is it possible I’ll fail at it? Yup. But to be me, live in all the ways I desire to, this is the way. Fuck off, pointless fear. You’re not welcome on this path because I don’t need to be less than me.
Do you make mindful choices and decisions for your life paths?
This is the seventh-hundred-fifty-second (752) exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – applying mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.
I share my philosophy because I desire to make a difference in the world and help as many people as I can to find their empowerment with conscious reality creation.
Thank you for joining me. Feel free to share and/or repost where it might do good for you and others.
The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.
Also, please check out my author website for the rest of my published fiction and nonfiction works.
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