Who Stands by You?
As you traverse your paths in life, who stands by you both matters – and doesn’t.
Introverts or extroverts, human beings are social creatures.
Some people need the energy and connection – literal and figurative – of others in their lives frequently. Some people need that same energy far less often. But it’s a fact of life and human nature that we’re social and need at least SOME interaction and connection.
When I began to be more authentic in how I live my life, people had different reactions to it. Some people were uber-supportive and encouraging. Some were supportive, but with much less enthusiasm. Still, others were skeptical and questioned my choices.
While I value the input of those who stand by me, friends and family alike – I am not here to be approved of by them nor to live my life as they might think is best for me.
It’s for this reason that who stands by you both matters and doesn’t matter. Because when all is said and done there is nobody who can live your life for you. You’re on your own, and the choices and decisions you make are on you only.
But as social creatures, we live in a world where interaction with others matters. This is why who stands by you is a consideration.
Active and passive support
There are, most likely, people who actively support you. They offer encouragement, listen to your ideas, and accept who you are and what you are doing with and for your life.
The people who make time and effort to be there with and for you are active supports. They buy your books, read your blogs, and take part in all you are doing. These are the people who likely stand by you through thick and thin, in good and bad, and love and care about you.
There are also people who give support as well – but much more passively. They don’t make the effort to provide encouragement or seek you out to hear your ideas, but they will encourage and hear you in most circumstances.
These people are your passive supporters. They buy the books that you write that interest them, read some of your blogs, but they are not the first people you can turn to when you need active support.
Both active and passive supporters are important. Nobody wants to stand alone and disconnected in life. Even the most introverted people I know still need people – just a very select group make that up.
It is also a two-way street. Giving support is as important – sometimes more important – as getting support. Getting, mind you, not taking. Getting support is a more open notion where it’s an exchange. Taking is when you give nothing in return.
For example – Donald Trump takes support. He gives nothing of value in return.
This leads to another really important matter. Why who stands by you doesn’t matter.
You live for only you
Giving and getting support is great. Both are necessary as a part of human interaction and interconnectivity. We are social creatures, and we need tangible and intangible connections between one another.
It’s important to be mindful of whether what you do is for you or your support. Are you doing what you are doing for yourself, or for anyone who stands by you?
It is entirely possible to be doing what you do in support of those who support you. Like I wrote before, this is a two-way street. But when you get no benefit – or are sacrificing for others – this becomes problematic.
Everyone has opinions. Some are based in reality and some very clearly not. You have opinions about other people, and they have opinions about you. Some of this filters into who stands by you actively, passively, or not at all.
But when it matters more to you what impression you make on other people, or what their opinion of you is, you may lose your way and fall off your paths.
I know that some of my friends and family think that the choices I make for my life are unusual. The work I’ve chosen and my belief in conscious reality creation and such don’t match with some of their beliefs, opinions, or experiences.
I could, knowing this, change my life to better meet their expectations about who I should be. But that’s rather dishonest, isn’t it? Would being who others believe I should do me much good? Would I be content with that? No.
Yet people do this ALL THE TIME. They live according to what other people expect of them. And they are more often miserable, depressed, anxious, and otherwise living life halfway.
Who stands by you supports your true self
The people who stand by you support you, who you are, the choices and decisions you make, and the life you are living.
But not always. They will be skeptical, questioning, concerned, and sometimes ask difficult questions of you.
That’s because our perceptions of reality are so variable. I may see a path that is perfectly logical and plausible to me. My friends, family, and supporters, however, may not see the logic and plausibility that I do. They might have no conception or perception of it whatsoever.
Sometimes, these challenges to your path are super-healthy. Why? Because they get YOU to ask and answer necessary questions. Faith is great. Blind faith, however, can be less so.
It’s true that when it comes to conscious reality creation, you can know the what of the end goal without knowing the how. You start along a path unsure what the path will present – but sure of where it leads.
Pathwalking often is a journey of faith. But it’s not blind faith – which is where mindfulness comes into it.
Mindfulness is conscious awareness of the here-and-now. That awareness informs your inner being – mindset/headspace/psyche self – of your place in the present moment. Having this awareness keeps you grounded and balanced in life.
Blind faith lacks mindfulness. This is why when a person who stands by you asks you annoying, skeptical questions – you can answer them. Your faith in your path is not blind and disconnected from reality. Their questioning and seeming lack of support is still support. Particularly when once you can meet their skepticism with faith they tend to remain in support.
Choose paths no matter who stands by you – or not
As you traverse your paths in life, who stands by you both matters – and doesn’t. In the end, you alone know who you are, where you are, what you are, and how you desire your life to be. As social creatures, however, we don’t go any paths totally alone.
We are in the corners for our people. I have people I offer my active support to regularly. There are also people for whom I offer passive support. In all instances, I know that they can do what they do without me – but I can be there for them when they encounter difficulties.
Because that’s an unavoidable truth. Perfection, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. What’s more, people are all perfectly imperfect. Thus, everyone has good days AND bad days. Success AND failure. Support for the bad is equally as important as support for the good.
Who stands by you when it all comes crashing down should be no different from who stands by you when you win. I stand with the people I care about when they fail as much as when they succeed. And while I may offer ideas, suggestions, and advice from my experience to help them with theirs – I know I cannot direct or control them. Nor do I wish to.
Just like I don’t desire for anyone to direct or control MY life. I give and get support without taking. Because it matters. Giving what you desire to get is another aspect of conscious reality creation and a building block for abundant potential and possibility.
Who stands by you and who do you stand by?
This is the four-hundred and seventy-ninth exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are ideas for – and my personal experiences with – mindfulness and walking along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.
I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Additionally, I desire to empower myself and my readers with conscious reality creation.
Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-blog and share this.
The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. My additional writing, both fiction and non-fiction, are available here.
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