How Can Saying No Be Positive?

Saying No is a matter of self-care and empowerment for your life.

No is not necessarily negative.

This can be an odd concept to wrap your head around, but recognizing the incredible positivity in saying No can open you up to a lot of potential and possibilities.

How can No possibly not be negative? This is a misunderstanding of a word that in and of itself has a simple meaning, but that gets turned into a much broader, bigger, powerful entity.

Though No is used as a negative response to something, the intent of no might well be anything but negative. A lot of times inflection, tone, emphasis, and volume in the word can offer a deeper interpretation. No, all by itself, can convey a stunning amount of weight.

All toddlers seem to go through a phase where “No!” is their favorite word. Sometimes it is completely literal, other times more figurative. It can be petulant, pleading, or manipulative.

Yet this can be a gateway to good. How? By preventing you from entering into a bad situation. When your pals are about to do something you know is completely stupid, telling them No is good for you.

But on a far deeper and more personal level, No opens you up to better empowerment, and having influence and control over your life. In this way it becomes a pathway to choices and decisions for yourself.

Saying No doesn’t make you a bad person

So here we come to the ever-so-popular concept of selfishness. You and I live in a fear-based society, and much of that fear is rooted in selfishness. That selfishness is borne of a belief in lack, scarcity, and a general insufficiency of both tangible and intangible matters.

There is not enough money. Insufficient time. A lack of jobs. Not enough space. Insufficient love. A lack of resources. But all of this is untrue. Every one of these supposed deficiencies is artificial and false. But many use the fear of them being true to drive the masses in largely unhealthy ways.

Seeing the greed and unkindness so rampant in this society causes a lot of interpretation of matters as selfish. But true selfishness is not about self-care and taking time and resources for yourself, but denying them to others.

Yet this false perception of what creates selfishness is a frequent cause of people not saying No when that is truly what they should do for themselves.

How does this work? When you need to care for yourself but put that off for someone else because you don’t want to say No. When you give don’t give a straight answer to someone because you know that saying No will hurt their feelings. This is when you do not want to stay late at work for a project that is not critical despite being asked to do so.

It is not selfish to say No so that you are caring for yourself. You only have an infinite amount of resources, and no matter how strong you are, depleting them will force you to say no after you become exhausted or get sick from not performing self-care.

This can be a word of powerful reinforcement

The word No is not just a denial or a dissent, it can also be a refusal. But that doesn’t make it necessarily a negative.

No is a positive reinforcement of your self-worth, rights, and self-awareness. For example – No, I will not be taken advantage of. I am saying No to these unreasonable fears. No, you will not hurt me. All of these uses empower you.

The meaning of the word No can take on a lot of different aspects. It’s a versatile word that can be used to express displeasure, distress, and even disinformation. But it can also empower you to take control, to use your own reason and mindfulness in order to best care for yourself.

You may have been told about the power of Yes when it comes to choices and decisions for your life. No is just as powerful and can be employed for your betterment, too.

Finding positivity isn’t hard, but it does require action

Knowing how saying No is neither selfish nor unkind of you when it comes to your own empowerment and self-care, you have an excellent tool available to better yourself. When you say No to something that you truly do not desire to do you are being kind to yourself, and that ultimately empowers you. When you feel empowered, your mindfulness increases, you become more aware overall, and that tends to spread to other people around you.

As such, you can build more positive feelings and discover more things to feel positivity and gratitude.

Gratitude leads to happiness. Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude. An attitude of gratitude is an attitude of positivity that begets even more good energies – and that, like you, is always worthwhile.

This is the three-hundredth entry of my Positivity series. It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

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