I’m a Human Being – Sitting at My Desk, Fingers on My Keyboard

A new mindfulness realization dawns on marble head. My therapist told me about a book called Clinical Dharma: A Path for Healers and Helpers by Dr. Stephen Dansiger. She said it had been helpful to her, and she thought it would be helpful to me. In this book, the author talks about applying Buddhist principles to clinical practices – and beyond. Specifically, this relates to the Noble Eightfold Path. Some of it has resonated with me, some not as much.

Do You Think You’re the Only One Feeling Uncertain?

Spoiler alert – you’re not the only one. Though we tend not to talk about it in this way – COVID-19 changed the world. First, we learned that many people, in the face of a public health crisis, will take extraordinary steps to protect themselves, those they care about, and even total strangers. We also learned that many people will take advantage of a public health crisis for personal gain, are horridly selfish, self-centered, and that they couldn’t care less

When You Get to the End, Will You Celebrate or Regret?

Life is full of choices both made and not made. No matter what happens between now and tomorrow, your life will come to an end. Sorry if that’s a very downer statement. But it’s a simple truth for everyone everywhere. It doesn’t matter who you are, where you come from, your social status, wealth or lack, or any other factor you can think of. Life ends for everyone. You can look at this as a real bummer. You may also

Why Don’t Negative Thoughts, Feelings, and Actions Bring Positive Outcomes?

This is obvious, right? And yet… I’ve met many people who are constant complainers. This is wrong, that’s not right, those things are imperfect. People, places, things – they will find something to complain about. What’s funny about this – not funny – is that they frequently add a complaint even to something good. We had a great experience at that restaurant – except for the waitress or It was a great rental car, but it smelled like air freshener

What Is a Cost Analysis of Life Choices?

Every choice you make has a cost. This is highly variable and subjective. Sir Isaac Newton’s Third Law of Motion states, “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” This is applicable, however, beyond the laws of motion. For anything and everything that you do – literal or figurative – there will be a reaction. Some approach this from the notion that actions have consequences. I look at it as every choice you make is an action you

The Positivity of Being Your Truest Self Isn’t Easy

But it’s totally worth it – because you are worth it. Are you your genuine self? Maybe, like me, you’ve worn different masks in various situations. This was the “self” you presented to specific audiences, for diverse reasons. One mask at work, one at school, one for friends, one for family, one in private, one in public. Group ‘X’ of people you spend time with get one mask, while group ‘Y’ gets another. There’s nothing evil, dishonest, or deceitful in

When the People Who Share My Heart Don’t Get Me?

How do I handle this along life’s paths? My family largely doesn’t get me. They love me, I know that. But they don’t get me. What does that mean? I do things, take approaches to matters, and live in ways that cause them to scratch their heads, wonder how I can possibly be content or happy this way, and probably question my sanity. My dating habits and relationship choices in my 20s and 30s made no sense to them. That

Be Yourself – Because You Can’t be Anyone Else – And That’s Good

Just remember – being yourself is not a license to be a dick. Who are you? This is a massively loaded question. Who you are can vary depending on the time of day, the company you’re keeping, your mood, and numerous other factors. The short answer is that you are you. No matter what happens, the only one in your head, heart, and soul is you. Yet being yourself can be challenging because of the need to be accepted. You

Should You Open Yourself Up and Share With More People?

You alone have the answer – but here’s why I think it’s YES. Secrets can be useful in many ways. When it comes to national security, for example, certain secrets keep people from hacking into various systems and shutting down the power grid or something equally bad. Secrets also can make room for surprises. You can’t throw a good surprise party for someone if you don’t make secret plans and keep that someone out of the loop. But secret-keeping can

You Don’t Need to Reclaim Your Past to Heal Your Past

You can only learn from the past but can’t return to it. Do you have trauma from your past? Have you experienced pain, suffering, sadness, and the like? If you’re human, then you probably have had some or all of the above experiences. Some of them you probably don’t ever desire to recall or return to again. But some you might desire to redo or undo, and others you might desire to return to – with what you know now

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