Nontoxic Positivity Embraces Both Bad and Good Happenings
That’s because nothing is only positive.
The word “positivity” has become fraught because it’s often applied toxically. The “power of positive thinking” is bandied about like the ultimate cure to what ails you, but it’s often shared incompletely.
What that means is this: The idea that staying positive, focusing only on positivity, and denying, disregarding, and/or ignoring bad, negative things is the only way. Put on your rose-colored glasses, make sure the blinders are in place, and tiptoe through the tulips (oblivious to shit happening around you).
Unless you live under a rock (and if you do and are reading this, you must have amazing wifi), you’re aware of the many, unpleasant, terrible things happening in the world today. Even when you work to minimize your exposure to it all, it’s still important to be aware so you can make informed choices and decisions. Specifically, when it comes to voting, supporting or boycotting businesses, protesting, and generally navigating a world that often seems utterly insane.
Positivity is a choice you get to make on a regular basis. It’s not, however, a blind choice. Hence, recognizing the difference between toxic and nontoxic positivity before you apply it.
What is toxic positivity?
Toxic positivity is the idea that only a positive attitude, a positive mindset, can help you live the best life you can. What makes it toxic is its all-or-nothing application. What that looks like is applying positivity blindly, utterly ignoring negativity and thus, reality.
A positive attitude is great, but in and of itself, impotent. What I mean by that is in the void, in a vacuum, you can’t apply the thought alone. That’s because thought is only 1 aspect of your conscious awareness when you practice mindfulness.
Thought can be subconscious, too. If you feel like crap, you intend to get through the day without breaking into tears, your approach is least resistance, and you have no drive to take action, a positive attitude will have no impact.
Toxic positivity is sometimes applied to both thought and feeling, but focuses on ignoring, disregarding, and avoiding negativity. However, that’s not realistic. Shit happens. Things go wrong. And some of the world’s madness will seep into your life whenever you interact with people, direct or indirect.
Often, toxic positivity will come across as too good to be true. That’s because it probably is. Or while it might be plausible, because negativity and bad things happen all the time (because that’s how the universe works), disregarding this via positive thinking or a positive attitude will only disempower you. That’s due to toxic positivity creating a disconnect.
But genuine positivity isn’t a bad thing. Particularly when it’s nontoxic positivity.
What is nontoxic positivity?
Nontoxic positivity is an approach. It takes the idea and feeling of positivity and applies it via active choices and decisions. Often, it’s not grandiose or otherwise life-changing in and of itself. It’s a choice or decision that you make along the way.
For example, you lose your job. Toxic positivity is pretending everything is fine, telling yourself not to grieve or be angry because that will only make you feel worse. However, feeling bad after losing a job is natural and not something to be brushed off.
Nontoxic positivity is allowing yourself to grieve and be angry, hurt, or otherwise feel bad about the loss of the job. However, instead of dwelling on it, letting that negativity bring you into a downward spiral, you make choices and decisions for your approach.
What that looks like is this:
That sucked, but now I can try that business idea I had.
Or
That really pissed me off, but now I can move to that other country.
Or
I’m super angry, but now I have the time to do the thing I’ve been putting off.
And so on. You feel your feelings, have your bad thoughts, then choose and decide to move past them. That’s nontoxic positivity, and it is a natural part of active conscious awareness.
You employ nontoxic positivity with active conscious awareness, i.e., mindfulness.
Practicing mindfulness
Mindfulness is being aware, and yes, woke. I don’t know about you, but I would rather be “woke” – is in awake and aware – than asleep, unaware. and being manipulated by outside forces.
Mindfulness is applied active conscious awareness. It’s the tool for working, here and now, to make choices and decisions about who, what, where, how, and why your life is. This begins by recognizing and acknowledging that you’re the only one in your head, heart, and soul.
To gain this awareness, you ask questions, in the present, like:
- What am I thinking?
- What am I feeling?
- How am I feeling?
- What do I intend here?
- Is my approach (to this, that, or the other thing) positive or negative?
- What am I doing/not doing?
Since these can only be answered in the now, they make you aware. If you don’t like the answers, you’re empowered to change them. Nontoxic positivity lets you choose a positive but realistic approach to this, that, or the other thing.
There are many, many ways to do this. But nontoxic positivity embraces both the good and bad, which is how you can discern it from toxic positivity. Applied nontoxic positivity can inform your choices and decisions to improve many elements of your life experience.
This does take time, energy, and work. Conscious awareness is, after all, like the visible part of the iceberg, maybe 10% of your awareness (subconsciousness being the other 90% below the water). There’s a lot to navigate and work with to be your most genuine, authentic self. But know that you, yes YOU, are worthy and deserving of being/doing/having/experiencing life to its fullest potential and possibilities.
Utilizing nontoxic positivity in your life isn’t hard
It’s all about practicing active conscious awareness (mindfulness) of your thoughts, feelings, intentions, and the positivity or negativity of your approach to direct your actions.
When you recognize and acknowledge that shit happens, life is imperfect, and bad things are unavoidable, you gain the power to make informed choices and decisions for how you approach things, and apply nontoxic positivity to them. Knowing that thinking and feeling bad things is perfectly normal (and true for everyone), and that nontoxic positivity works with that, you can choose and decide to take your life in the direction you presently desire to.
This empowers you. When you’re empowered, that can, in turn, empower others around you.
Consciously choosing your approach to life towards positivity or negativity — from the vast cylinder that exists between them — shifts life in ways that open you to more potential, possibility, and the like. From there, you can recognize, explore, and share where you are between the extremes and how that impacts you in the here and now.
The better aware you are of yourself, here and now, the better you can choose and decide what, how, and why your life experiences will be. When you empower yourself, it can spread to those around you and empower them, too. That is an amazing conduit to help reason overcome fear in the collective consciousness.
Thank you for coming along on this journey.
This is the six-hundred-forty-fourth (644) entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, reblog, and spread the positivity.
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