Did You Know that You Are Worthwhile and Deserving?
Yes, you.
The other day I felt particularly down. I was chewing on thoughts about recognition from others that hadn’t come, how few of my friends and family have bought my books, and how it often feels like nobody cares what I write and share here.
My therapist was sick, my wife is going through enough of her own crap that she didn’t need mine on top of it. There is nobody among my friends I’m presently close enough to that I could commiserate with.
So, I took another step. I paused and wrote in my journal. I spoke my usual affirmations loudly and clearly. Here was a chance to walk my talk and recognize – via self-awareness – how, what, where, who, and why I am, here and now. Then, I could make any necessary adjustments.
For numerous reasons, I frequently feel unworthy and undeserving of anything. Who the hell am I? What have I done? How can my life possibly be worthwhile and deserving? Then, as I pause to consider this, I go back to my recent realization about the meaning of life.
The meaning of life is to live. Not just exist, not just survive, but live. Experience life. Do new things. Try new foods. Learn. Grow.
This is not something for only the rich, the obscenely attractive, the powerful, or what-have-you. This is the truth for everyone. Thus, I realized, I’m worthwhile and deserving.
More than that, though. I’m not alone. You’re worthwhile and deserving, too.
What the shit is this?
Life is ridiculous. You never know what could happen. Your brilliant plan to walk to the post office rather than drive, to help you do something healthy, might result in the worst injuries you’ve ever had. The date you were not so certain you should go on might lead to the best relationship. The job you thought was perfect and amazing might abruptly end. You simply never know.
Yet each and every experience you have, good, bad, and in-between, is a life experience. To make the most of these, you have a choice. Do you just exist and let life live you, do you curse life and approach most of it with a sense of dread and/or displacement, or do you take the wheel and do what you can to drive life? The choice is always yours.
Yes, I know that sometimes you can’t drive life very far. Point “B”, where you most desire to go, might be a long, long way from Point “A” where you presently are. Yet every choice and decision you make can be a stepping stone to cross the distance.
What’s more, you might find that on the way from Point “A” to Point “B”, you see a Point “Q”. This might alter your thoughts and feelings, and suddenly you change to this new direction.
Do you need to be a “somebody” to be worthy and deserving of such a thing? No, not at all. Is it important that others approve of and/or validate who you are and what you choose? Not in the slightest. Does your life and how you live it belong to anyone other than you? No.
Did you know that you are worthwhile and deserving?
Yes, you. And I mean you. Also, you, too.
But – you might be thinking – you don’t even know me. That might be true. However, I know if you’re reading this you have mostly good intentions. If you’re taking the time and have read this far, you are a person who cares about these things. You have a desire to be found worthwhile and deserving.
Ok, maybe – you might be thinking – but there are bad people in the world. Are they worthwhile and deserving too? Yes and no. Yes, everyone, at the core of their being, is worthwhile and deserving of being content, happy, receiving kindness, compassion, and empathy, and experiencing life to the fullest. That’s just the truth of it.
However, anyone who forces others to their way of thinking, whether via manipulation, violence, threats of violence, passing restrictive laws, or whatever else, doesn’t deserve to have their way over others. Worthwhile and deserving is only applicable to you and your life. This is for you and only you and what you desire to have, be, do, and so on.
This is why I’m not telling you how to live your life, what to do, or how to do it. What I am doing is sharing an idea that you can choose to take or leave. I’m also sharing the truth that, so long as you’re not doing something that you know will cause hurt or harm (this isn’t about how others perceive it, it’s about your malice of forethought), you are worthwhile and deserving.
Please allow me to address the elephant in the room.
You are not a selfish person, unless…
True selfishness involves malicious forethoughts. You’re being selfish when you do something you know, even before you do it, will cause hurt or harm to another. On a personal scale, this entails taking more than your fair share of “X” knowing that leaves someone without. If there are 12 cookies and 12 people who desire to get a cookie, and you take 3 cookies for yourself, you know you’ve left 2 people without cookies. On a broader scale, this is forcing a thinly veiled, religious-based law on women to restrict their body autonomy knowing full well you’re intentionally disempowering them.
While you know that certain actions will cause hurt if you take them – ending a relationship, quitting a job, saying “no” to something another expects of you that you don’t desire, or walking away from a toxic family situation – this is not selfish. Though the person or persons impacted by your choice will call you selfish, that is not a selfish act. How they choose to feel is not in your control.
Do you feel bad knowing they will feel hurt? Since I suspect the answer is yes, that’s a sign that you are not being truly selfish. Why? Because the truly selfish don’t give a shit about anyone or anything other than themselves.
You are worthwhile and deserving of experiencing this life
We only occupy these bodies, in this life, for a limited time. Though our essence is probably infinite, our body and consciousness within it are not.
Human beings have evolved in some amazing ways. What’s more, we’ve developed tools and technologies that allow us to experience this world in ways that were virtually unimaginable just a century ago. Opportunities that were once reserved for a limited few are now available to the masses.
One of the reasons you might not think you’re worthwhile or deserving is old, outdated cultural rules. It’s not untrue that, once upon a time, choosing your life experience was limited to only a few deemed socially worthwhile and deserving. However, the world has changed. You no longer need to be a king, nobleman, priest, wealthy, or male to be worthwhile and deserving of living life on your terms.
You, and you alone, know what you desire and how you would prefer that your life be. Hence, you are worthwhile and deserving of taking actions to make it so.
Given the truth that there is no one-size-fits-all, I need to put a caveat here. If you’re a parent or have chosen to be an active caregiver for an elderly or disabled relative, you must take their needs into account, too. That might impact your choices and decisions, but in the interest of avoiding true selfishness, this is important to account for.
One more consideration
There will be times when you will feel unworthy and undeserving. I sometimes feel that. This is utterly, perfectly natural. Welcome to the Human Condition.
Because we’re social creatures, we desire to have validation, recognition, and acknowledgment of our worth from others. Do you actually, factually need this? No. Yet, you will still feel bad when you don’t get it. Especially if you’re comparing your life to someone else’s, feel like you are being passed up or over, and get a sense that it’s just not fair.
Nope, life is not fair. However, you are a worthy and deserving person, even if you aren’t recognized as you desire to be. Pausing to consider this can help you feel better when you don’t feel worthwhile or deserving. Because you are worthwhile and deserving. Yes, I mean you.
Recognizing that you are worthwhile and deserving isn’t hard
It’s all about working with mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, and intentions to direct your actions.
When you recognize and acknowledge that shit happens, and you won’t always feel like you’re worthy or deserving, a little mindfulness can show you that, ultimately, you are. Knowing that you approach life without ill intent and are seeking to live it as fully as possible – and so is everyone else – you can take action to let go of needing to be recognized and validated by others and see your ultimate worth.
This empowers you, and your empowerment can empower others around you.
Taking an approach to positivity and negativity – from the vast cylinder that exists between them – shifts life in a way that opens more dialogue. With a broader dialogue, you can explore and share where you are between the extremes and how that impacts you here and now.
Choosing thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions for yourself employs an approach and attitude of positivity for realizing amazing potential and possibilities for your life.
The better aware you are of yourself in the now, the more you can do to choose and decide how your life experiences will be. When that empowers you, it can spread to those around you to their empowerment.
Thank you for coming along on this journey.
This is the five-hundred and eighteenth (518) entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.
Please visit here to explore all my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.
Follow me here!
