Can You Fail and Still Be Positive?
Failing and positivity are not as removed as you might think.
I’m currently reading a truly fascinating book about the many nuances of failure. It’s called Right Kind of Wrong: The Science of Failing Well by Amy C. Edmondson. I’m less than halfway through this book, but it’s already opened some interesting channels in my mind.
Modern society tends to look at failure as a negative. To fail is to screw up, be lesser, look bad, and the like. Most messages about failing are all about how it does nobody any good and is naught but ruinous.
This isn’t the truth, however. Failure is an impersonal part of nature that often comes with zero predictability. There are numerous forms and factors that go into a fail; some in our control but others not at all.
What’s more, failure often leads to good. And that’s why you can fail and still be positive.
What does it mean to fail?
This is an entirely situational question. Maybe you didn’t plan enough, or perhaps you should have zigged when you zagged. Or it’s possible failure is the result of wholly external influences.
Are you late to work because you ignored your alarm or you hit heavy traffic? Are you locked out of your car because you lost your key fob or did the battery unexpectedly die? Did you overeat and get sick, or was the food somehow off? All these failures can be your doing or externally influenced.
Then, what failure looks like and how it presents itself varies. Aiming to lose 20 pounds but only losing 10 might be considered a failure, but to what extent? Hitting a sales goal but failing the stretch goal is still success – or is it?
The notion of failing is incredibly broad and nuanced. What’s more, sometimes a failure leads to a discovery. Vulcanized rubber tires, the “feet” of every car on the road worldwide, were the result of a failure. More than one innovation came about because of an unintended consequence where someone or something failed.
Hence, what it means to fail isn’t necessarily negative. It all depends on your perspective and how you frame it.
Good, bad, or indifferent are open to interpretation
One of the most infuriating truths about life is that you and I have very limited control. When it comes to people, places, and things, we are in control of nobody and nothing. There’s not a damned thing you or I can do for or with anything or anyone that isn’t ourselves.
Hence, when someone fails to meet expectations, deliver as promised, or otherwise fucks up, it’s wholly out of our control. And that can be maddening. There’s not a lot you can do about it.
The struggle not to fail can often lead you to uncertainty, fear, anger, and other forms of distress. Nobody wants to look bad or be perceived as insufficient, unworthy, undeserving, or any other negative. This can lead people to be indecisive. Or worse, this can lead people to cede their power to others so that they don’t get the blame for failing.
Placing blame has almost become something of a perverse art form. On nearly every level of society, blame is thrown around like confetti. When it comes to things that fail, people love to blame this person, that thing, or some other random circumstance.
The entire MAGA movement is based on blaming this or that “other” for why jobs are scarce, wallets are empty, or any other failure impacting people’s lives. Self-reflection and accountability? That’s woke.
To fail isn’t automatically a bad thing. It’s perfectly natural because nobody’s perfect. No plan is perfect. And on top of that, change is inevitable and out of our control.
Choices, decisions, and random happenstance
In summary, shit happens. Some things in our daily lives are completely out of our control. Much of this is related to change. Change happens all the time, often beyond anyone’s desire or skill.
It’s natural to fail at things, and the majority of failures are minor. You set the alarm wrong, misjudged traffic, ate too much and made yourself sick, and so on. Yeah, you failed in some way, but it wasn’t a life-or-death matter.
As the book I’m reading emphasizes coming to terms with and better understanding what it means to fail is incredibly healthy. Seeing failing as a learning opportunity opens us to new ideas, potential, and possibilities. Hence, it can be positive to fail.
Maybe this thing you were doing didn’t work. Instead of lamenting that you failed, you can take a new approach that might create an even better result. It might have been good that you failed because you didn’t get stuck somewhere less than you were worthy of being. Failing is not inherently bad.
Sure, sometimes it is. Half-assing and failing is not the same as putting in all the effort you can and learning it doesn’t work. This is what Yoda meant when he told Luke, “Try not. Do or do not. There is no try.”
Sometimes you will fail. But that’s not a cause to judge yourself too harshly. It might be better that you failed today because you find yourself in a more desirable place tomorrow. That’s how failure can be positive.
Seeing a fail as positive isn’t hard
It’s all about practicing active conscious awareness (mindfulness) of your thoughts, feelings, intentions, and the positivity or negativity of your approach to direct your actions.
Recognizing and acknowledging that failing isn’t necessarily a negative, you can use when you fail as a means to learn, grow, and gain new perspective. Knowing that active, conscious awareness – mindfulness – opens you to potential and possibility through choices and decisions, you can recognize good failure from bad and use failing to direct personal growth and change.
This empowers you. When you’re empowered, that can, in turn, empower others around you. That’s why I share these weekly posts with you.
Consciously choosing your approach to life towards positivity or negativity — from the vast cylinder that exists between them — shifts life in ways that open you to more potential, possibility, and the like. From there, you can recognize, explore, and share where you are between the extremes and how that impacts you in the here and now.
The more aware you are of yourself in the present, the better you can choose and decide what, how, and why your life experiences will be. When you empower yourself, it can spread to those around you and empower them, too. That is an amazing conduit to help reason overcome fear in the collective consciousness.
Thanks for joining me on this journey.
This is the six-hundred-sixty-first (661) entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energy for everyone. Feel free to share, reblog, and spread the positivity.
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