How Do I Be Who I Want To Be?
Be who you want to be.
Do not wait for the right time, the right situation, or whatever perfect storm you desire. Be who you want, right now. Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, be who you want to be.
I have spent a good part of my life struggling with my own identity. This has come in a lot of different forms, but it has mostly been a combination of being indecisive about who I am, concerns about who I was, and in all of that trying to be something for other people. I have spent a lot of my time navel gazing, pondering imponderables, trying to figure it all out.
I think that everybody does this. The how varies from person to person. Part of the human condition is asking all kinds of questions. We won’t always like the answers, and worse, often times we are not asking the right questions.
Lately I have been struggling with being who I want to be. I have this image of myself at the goal I want to reach. There I am, healthier, in better physical shape, promoting my writing works and being a person who has the financial security to travel and help others with Pathwalking and Conscious Reality Creation.
Current and past reality are in many ways contrary to who I want to be. In the past I worked necessary but unfulfilling jobs because I needed to make money to pay my bills. There was a lot of episodes of indecision, and I did things I am less than proud of.
Currently, I am struggling because I am not bringing in a steady income stream, not exercising sufficiently, and not always making the most of my time day to day.
Now is the time.
I have written before about awareness, and being in the here-and-now. Part of conscious reality creation is being in the now, because that’s how we best manifest our desires.
Despite everything I write about this, I frequently find it hard to practice what I preach, so to speak. The perfect example of this is yesterday. Yesterday I had set up a thing that I anticipated going very differently from how it went. When it failed, I took it personally. While I acknowledge it’s possible the failure may have been avoided if I had been more diligent, I was pretty certain that I HAD been thorough. But this put me into a negative spiral.
This matter going wrong reminded me of other problems I’m currently facing. Inconsistencies and obstacles in getting from where I am to where I want to be. Current negative issues got placed under a microscope, which blew them up even bigger. And that inevitably led to looking at past failings.
This is ALWAYS a slippery slope. When you start to look at how you got to where you are now, and that puts a focus on failures, it’s not simply disheartening. It will depress the hell out of you. Depression sucks.
Of course, depression is a liar, and when it strikes it may begin to tell you that you are unworthy, undeserving, and that of course life sucks…but this is what you have earned.
Even though I took action to negate the depression, it only pushed it aside for a time. When it hit me again this morning, I found I could not focus, uncovered more reasons to feel bad about myself, and of course this blog wasn’t speaking to me in the least.
Consciousness creates reality. Knowing this, I acted to do something about it.
Be in the here-and-now.
I looked out my window at the snow, and on impulse pulled on my hiking boots, a hoodie, and my jacket. Despite the slick slush on the ground and the snowy sleet falling steadily from the sky, I went for a walk.
I listened as the snow pelted against my hood, and my feet crunched and splooshed in the slush. I walked along the path looking for a quiter spot, where there would be less road noise and other distractions. After fifteen minutes, I paused, and stood still.
I felt the slight breeze and not-too-cold air on my face, listened to the sleet falling on my hood and coat. I closed my eyes, slowed my breathing, placing myself completely in the moment, in the here-and-now.
Standing there, utterly in the moment, I realized where my trouble was. One phrase came to mind.
Be who you want to be.
Don’t just think about. Don’t wait until the time is right or the weather changes or the money is there or whatever else you’re waiting for. Be who you want to be. Right now. Just be.
As I think about who I want to be, I realize that there are so many ways I can do this, right now. I don’t need to wait for change, I need to be who I want to be, now. I need to stand up taller, exude more confidence, identify myself as the person I want to be.
Many of the books I have read or listened to say the same thing. Who you are now is the product of who you WERE. Awareness generates manifestation, and that is why being in the here-and-now is so important. That is why you need to be who you want to be, now.
Be who you are, not who you were.
Even if the now is not how you want your life to be, knowing that it is the product of your past and previous thoughts, feelings and actions, you gain awareness. Now that you are aware, you have the power to be who you want to be, right now. Choose not to see that person down-the-line of in-the-future or forthcoming. Be that person now.
This is what I am working on. Rather than see the end of the path I walk ahead of me, I am working to see myself at that end point, right now, as though it has been done. I see my mantra as my reality: I have abundance, I have prosperity. I am a good person, worthy and deserving of all the abundance, prosperity, success, wealth and joy. Succeed or fail, I am supported, and I am loved. Not I will be or it’s coming soon, but right now. This is who I am.
You are not alone. You can be whatever and whomever you put your mind to being. See it as already here, and in the now.
Who do you want to be?
This is the three-hundred twenty-third entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for, and my personal experiences with, walking along the path of life. I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.
Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-blog and share.
The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.
After more than 6 years of Pathwalking, I have launched a Patreon to garner support for these works, and more.
