What is Self-Help?

 

The key to self-help is right there in the name.

Self.  Help.  As in you help your self.

Ironically, despite this idea of working with ourselves to help ourselves, people still seem easily inclined to give up their power, and turn to others to improve their lives.

There are certainly plenty of times where we need the help of others.  Doctors can treat illnesses and prescribe needed medications.  Psychologists can help us to find and experience a better mental state.  Teachers and mentors provide us with information to expand our minds.

There are a lot of self-help gurus out there.  Some offer ideas ranging from the practical to the esoteric.  There are some that will sell you products beyond books full of their ideas to help you better your life.  Classes, seminars, gems, stones and essential oils get pitched as part of the self-help world.

Please understand, I am not badmouthing anyone, or writing here that what they offer isn’t helpful.  A lot of the things the gurus present can improve your life, help you to be healthier, happier, wealthier, wiser, smarter, and more empowered.  However, every single one of them uses the exact same key to start the engine of self-help.

You.

Self-help is all about you

In looking at the various options and ideas for self-help, many of which I have worked with in my own life, one thing I notice is that all of them, at their core, say exactly the same thing.  No matter what approach they take, all self-help modalities originate at the same point.

Self.  Help.  This is about you doing for you to help you.

Obvious, no?  Except, for a lot of people, they still miss the point.  I admit, when I am having a bad day I tend to miss it, too.

Any and all self-help only works when you, and you alone, employ it.

I can present you with Ten Positive Things for Your Awareness, Seven Sources to Inspire Positivity, Three Ways to Live Life, Five Truths about Heart and Head, or any number of nuggets of wisdom I have shared over the past seven years.  These are among many tools I offer to help you help yourself.

I’ve already begun a bi-weekly podcast to share the notion of Awareness for Everyone.  I could create additional books, workshops, classes, and webinars to present you with more.

But no matter what material I present to you, the only person empowered to USE this stuff is YOU.

Nobody else can do this for you.  And that is the single most important truth about self-help.  Only you can employ this.  Only you can really know and be you.

It does not matter if we are talking about awareness, mindfulness, consciousness creating reality, the Law of Attraction, or what-have-you.  There is one, and only one person capable of using any tools that you may come across along the way.

You.

Self-help works when you help yourself

Plain and simple, the notion of self-help, no matter how it’s presented, always works the same.  You need to do the work to help yourself.

There are a number of things it is important that we recognize and acknowledge about self-help and everything that goes into it.  A lot of this gets swept under the rug, not out of any maliciousness or profiteering, but because it’s the least attractive aspects about self-help:

• Self-help is not a quick-fix process. There are NO genuine quick-fixes that ever truly solve matters.
• Self-help requires time and effort. Like getting to really know anyone in the world, it takes time to get to know yourself.  Being mindful of yourself is how self-help does any good for you in any way.
• Self-help cannot be done by anyone other than you. Straight to the point, no matter what guru, teacher, mentor, or doctor you might look to, they cannot help you.  All they can do is give you tools which you can employ…or not.
• Self-help only works when you choose it. You cannot succeed with self-help if you only do it halfway.  You need to give it thought, feeling, and intentional action if you are going to make anything of it.
• Self-help is challenging. We all have aspects of ourselves we’re less than fond of.  In the process of working to help the self, we will encounter and face them.  Fears, doubts, uncertainties and other matters have caused more than one person to quit, shift modalities, or otherwise declare all self-helpery to be bullshit.
• There is no one-true-way. Whether your approach involves Buddhism, meditation, crystal healing, religion, essential oils or anything else under the sun or moon, no way is more right than any other.  All of them can work, but only when you yourself work them.

Self-help is seldom the only way

A lot of people feel depressed, anxious, scared, frustrated, angry, or otherwise discontent.  Some of this comes from personal matters, while some comes from broader impersonal issues.  Whatever the feeling, it generally tends to make us feel that we have a total lack of control.  We feel powerless and disempowered.

The only thing we have any control over whatsoever is ourselves.  Self-help recognizes this.  On an even deeper level, the only thing about ourselves we can control is our thoughts, feelings, and actions.

When we are not aware or mindful of what we are thinking and how it makes us feel, we cede that control to our subconscious.  This can drive us to find distractions, unhealthy alternatives to escape problems like drinking, drugs, meaningless sex, and so forth.  Those moments when we are drunk, high, or experiencing erotic pleasures can be mirrors for feeling in control.  But they are not true mirrors – they are more like distorted fun-house mirrors.

The problem is that they are temporary, and about as far from real as you can get.

Self-help recognizes that we are each empowered to use our personal power to improve our lives.  It does not necessarily work alone, either.  When we seek counsel and support from friends and loved ones, therapy, and even medication, this is all a part of the greater whole that ultimately makes up self-care.

Self-help can be an important tool in improving our lives.  When we are mindful of why we desire to change our lives, self-help can play an important role in empowering us.  But it only works when we remember that self-help works only when you help yourself, no matter what tools you employ in doing that.  This is about YOU.

How do you employ self-help to help better empower your life?

This is the three-hundred seventy-fourth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for, and my personal experiences with, walking along the path of life to consciously create reality.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way, and empower myself and my readers with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share this.

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