The Ramblings of the Titanium Don

Explorations of Conscious Reality Creation and Other Matters

Tag: prosperity

Am I Worthy and Deserving?

I am worthy and deserving of awesomeness in my life.

It’s interesting how often I need to remind myself of this.  There have been many instances where I do not feel as though I deserve to have the things I desire in my life.

Worthy and DeservingCrossing the Bridges is the most personal of my weekly posts.  I am exploring not only my philosophies and approaches to life, but my actual, factual life.

In Positivity I pointed out that YOU are amazing!  Part of the reason for this is because recognition of worth is something we take too often for granted.  Along this same line, Pathwalking involved looking at the empowerment of praise.  Praising can raise our frequencies.  Higher frequencies are associated with better feelings.  I don’t know anyone who doesn’t want to feel good.

For much of my life, I have struggled with my self-esteem.  Some of this is borne of depression, some of it is life experiences along the way.  Recognizing my own self-worth, and deserving of good things has proven to be challenging at times.

While getting outside validation of my worth can help, it’s really a matter of me recognizing my own deserving.  Am I worthy of success, abundance, and overall good things in my life?  Logically, I know the answer is yes.  But feeling it is where the challenge often lies.

Feeling emotions has been a struggle for me most of my life.  Sure, there are several instances from my past I can point to for this, but they do not matter now.  No, I am an adult.  I need to take responsibility for how I feel.  When I am not feeling right, it’s up to me to work in the here-and-now to adjust that.

There is never a quick-fix when it comes to this.

Recognizing being worthy and deserving is not a selfish act.

One of the other issues that comes from this is a fear of being perceived as selfish.  We are socially so inundated by stories of unbelievable greed and selfishness, it’s hard not to see any act that does not help other people as one that’s not selfish.

Taking care of ourselves is not the same as being selfish.  Being selfish comes from a lack mentality.  It’s the notion that there is not enough to go around, so I have to hoard what there is.  Greed is of the same ilk, and a monetary form of selfishness.

When I say I am deserving and worthy of awesomeness in my life, I am also suggesting that you are, too.  But in order to have more to give, I need to have some for myself.

We live in an abundant universe.  This is not an easy thing to recognize, because our society is hyper-focused on lack and scarcity.  Consciousness creates reality.  The more we focus on what we don’t want, the more we are in danger of creating.

I am a good person.  Maybe I am not always the best office worker, and from time to time I can be stubborn.  But I am a good person, with a good heart.  I want to live a life with abundance and prosperity.  Not just so that I can have more of the things I want, but so that I can also give more.

The awesomeness I am worthy and deserving of is both tangible and intangible.

Nobody but you can determine your own worth.  Yet regularly, we turn to peers and loved ones for affirmation.   The thing is, even if they tell us we are worthy, we might not feel it.

This is why I am stating in the open that I am worthy and deserving of a good life.  Because everyone is.

We are worthy even when we screw up.

Every single one of us is perfectly imperfect.  Part of the human condition is that we’re going to get it wrong.  We will cause someone to feel hurt, or disrespected, or unloved.  We will make mistakes.  There will be foul-ups both great and small along the way.  These are the lessons that help us to grow.  They do not lessen our worth.

I have been reciting a new Mantra or Mightiness, as Jen Sincero calls it, for almost two weeks.  As often as I am putting it out there, I need to do so even more.  It reminds me of my worth, and that I deserve to be abundant and happy.

There is always work to be done.  This is actually a good thing, because that work is how we grow.  I have a lot of things I am aiming to do with my life.  I know that I can make them happen.

Abundance and prosperity are things I am worthy and deserving of, just the same as you are.  It is ok to be aware of this.  Awareness is consciousness, and consciousness creates reality.

As always, thank you for crossing the bridges between my worlds with me!

 

This is the sixty-eighth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

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How does Conscious Reality Creation effect my life?

Our souls are forever, but our bodies are finite.  We only get one shot at life.

I read and listen to a lot of self-help books.  I have read and/or listened to works by Tony Robbins, Jen Sincero, Rhonda Byrne, Stephen Covey, Wallace Wattles, Napoleon Hill, Boni Lonnsburry and more.  The topics range from ideas for how to live life to the fullest, manifestation, controlling our emotions, choosing our own destinies, making money through ways we love, and so on.

LifeAll of them at their core get to the same point.  Consciousness Creates Reality.  Every single one of these authors is saying their own thing, in much the same way most of the world’s religions have the same message.  Be good to yourself, be good to others, stay positive with your thoughts AND feelings, and you can have the world as your oyster.

If we focus on a great deal of the world around us, this feels like total bullshit.  I mean, really, how can we consciously create reality and still live in a fear based society? How, with people spewing hate and greed and intolerance like open spigots, can this possibly work?

That is both the super-complicated yet almost unbelievably simple question.  I have been chasing this question for quite a while now, which is why this blog exists in the first place.

Consciousness Creates Reality

I know, from my own experiences, that consciousness DOES create our reality.  I have managed on more than one occasion to make this work.  When my thoughts were wholly focused on only one possible outcome, it worked.

I healed faster and more completely from serious injuries than the doctors could explain.  I acquired a car when mine was dying and my credit was horrific.  The girl I wanted got naked with me, even though others more attractive, thin and muscular than I failed.  There are always parking spaces for me.

Some of the manifestations I consciously have created are, in the grand scheme of things, rather unimportant.  Except, and this is one of the harder aspects of this to grab, the seemingly unimportant things are usually most important.

We love grandiose stories.  The romance where, through impossible odds, the lovers come together; rags to riches; happy endings.  On the other hand, we accept certain truths about how life is supposed to work.  You work five days a week at a job that might leave you unsatisfied because you have to earn money; there are things not talked about in polite society; there are limits and lack all over.

These authors I read and listen to all point out that, with strong focus and iron will, anything is possible.  While that can feel very hard to believe, I still recognize that it is true, and I have been working on doing better at taking my life where I want it to be.

This life is meant to be abundant.

For much of my life I have decided not to decide, chosen to stand at a crossroads but not pick a path, let fears stay my hand.  Yes, there have been shining moments of brilliance where I broke free of this and decided, and the results were incredible.  Now I am working on making this more of a habit.

We live in an abundant universe, with infinite possibility.  We can have pretty much anything we believe we can have.  But society insists that there are limits, and because we’ve been indoctrinated into that idea, escaping it can be challenging.

All of the authors I read and listen to reject the limited universe.  They embrace unlimited potential, possibility, and passion for life.

Yes, some of what their works contain is a bit hard to swallow.  Some of their approaches are uncomfortable, seem like total crap, and to many espouse hippy-crunchy new-agey gobbledegook.  I agree that a lot of what they say is common sense, or aimed at persuading us to enlist in helping them make more money from what they “preach”.

However, the key tenets and ideas, the notion of conscious reality creation, is at the heart of it.  If you brand it as The Law of Attraction or The Secret or whatever, it’s the same thing.  We are all a part of something bigger, and this is part of what it is.

Beware of false equivalencies.

Conscious Reality Creation and the idea that it can make you wealthy is different from the Prosperity Gospel we hear a lot about these days.  Prosperity Gospel relies on the will of God; Conscious Reality Creation relies on ME.  The former is often blindly followed to the exclusion of many, whereas the latter requires ultimate awareness and self-care.

Frequently, Prosperity Gospel has come to imply that only the wealthy, who have gotten rich through faith and atonement offered to God, are worthy of anything.  It is being used to disempower a huge swath of our society, and furthers one of the divides among us.  Conscious Reality Creation is about self-empowerment, for our own good, and through our empowerment we can empower others.  Prosperity Gospel seems much more concerned with monetary wealth than overall abundance.  These are very different ideas.

This life, spent in this meat-suit, is a singular experience.  Since we are energy at our core, we cannot be destroyed, just transmuted to another form.  While I am here I want to experience all that I can, and I want to live joyfully and find illumination every day.  I continue to work at this daily.  And yes, some days are harder than others, but I believe this is worthwhile.

As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 33:

Diet:  Mostly back on track.

Exercise:  Fencing two days, time at the gym and a couple days of long walks.

Writing:  The three blog posts were done; editing of Harbinger occurred; I did some work on my sci-fi novel over the course of four separate days.

Meditation:  Five of seven days last week, never less than 6 minutes.

Gratitude:  I expressed gratitude for 5 things on four days last week.

 

This is the forty-eighth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

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Pathwalking 120

Recently I read The Fifth Agreement by Don Miguel Ruiz and his son Don Jose Ruiz.  This is the follow up to the wildly popular book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.

These two books present the idea that we come into this life open, but along the way we make “agreements” with how to live.  We relinquish control to outside influences, and we allow our belief system to be massively complicated and colored by the world we live in.

The concept of these books is to help the reader to gain control of their life, to better choose how to live it.  This is very much in line with Pathwalking.

The five agreements are as follows:

1.) Be impeccable with your word

2.) Don’t take anything personal

3.) Don’t make assumptions

4.) Always do your best.

5.) Be skeptical, but learn to listen

The basic concepts stated in the five agreements are completely inline with Pathwalking.  While the whole Toltec vision and approach may not work for everyone, these five ideas can have a profound impact on your everyday life.

For the purpose of Pathwalking, let’s look at how these would work.

Be impeccable with your word.  I translate that to mean be true to yourself.  Don’t tell tall tales, don’t speak ill of others, don’t be a liar, don’t make promises you cannot keep – be true.  It is amazing how easy it is to let your thoughts about others derail how you view the world – being impeccable with your word and watching not only how you speak, but how you THINK can make a pretty huge difference in walking your Path.

Don’t take anything personal.  This is very straightforward.  When others judge you, or treat you unfairly, or are outright mean to you, they are often projecting their own prejudices and viewpoints.  Most of the time this isn’t targeted at you in a personal manner, so you should not dwell upon it and let it affect how you go about in your life.  How many times in Pathwalking have I expressed this along the way?

Don’t make assumptions.  This is huge.  We look at the world in a certain way, we think we know how certain things work, how tab ‘a’ fits into slot ‘b’, and we assume based on our pre-existing knowledge similar situations will fit that mold.  One of the tenets of Pathwalking is choice.  We are choosing the life we want, and in the process breaking molds and norms and such frequently.  I am always on the lookout for the assumptions others make about me and my choices – but it is probably more important I not make assumptions about others, either.  Everything is unique, and even similar experiences are never perfectly the same.

Always do your best.  I think this can be readily interpreted as Yoda states, “Do or do not, there is no try.”  Don’t half-ass things, don’t give lip service to effort, do the best you can.  You will get far more satisfaction from fully living than half-way living.

Be skeptical, but learn to listen.  These ideas, whether you choose to see them as tenets, philosophies, abstract concepts, hokum or however else you view them – these ideas should not just be taken with a grain of salt.  Consider them.  Do these ideas resonate with you, or do they sit badly with your mindset and approach to life?  Listen to all the ideas, but skeptically.  Think about it, consider it, but take it with a grain of salt and don’t outright accept it.

There is a wisdom in these five ideas that is very much in line with the philosophy of Pathwalking.  The “Agreements” presented by Don Miguel Ruiz and Don Jose Ruiz align well with my own way of seeing the universe, and how I wish to live my life and walk my own path.

I do, however, recommend reading both The Four Agreements and The Fifth Agreement.  They contain a large amount of great information, and go much deeper into these five notions that I will do here.

What tenets do you take most to heart along your path?

 

Please note – it is with utter respect and gratitude that I cite the works of Don Miguel Ruiz and Don Jose Ruiz here.  The Five Agreements above are wholly theirs, and I am only presenting them here as a compliment to my own Pathwalking philosophy.  I in no way claim any credit in their creation and presentation.  Should there be any legal issues with my sharing them here and associating them with Pathwalking, I will remove this post.

Thank you, Don Miguel Ruiz and Don Jose Ruiz.

 

This is the one-hundred twentieth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Thank you for joining me.

The first year of Pathwalking is available in print and for your Kindle.

Pathwalking 119

Nobody wants to disappoint anyone else.

Just like all the other feelings, you cannot control whether someone is disappointed or not.  Yet we all work incredibly hard to make certain we don’t upset and disappoint the people in our lives.

Whether friends, family, coworkers or even the Powers-that-be, we are all constantly striving not to disappoint.  We change the way we approach things, we change our intentions, we shift our schedules and we sacrifice to avoid disappointment.

Not surprisingly, the person we usually disappoint is ourselves.

We have become so concerned about the impression we make on others, and working to not be a disappointment, usually the person we neglect the most is ourselves.

Disappointing ourselves is far more destructive than disappointing others.  We don’t often see it this way because we are led to believe that it is in our best interest to not disappoint the people in our lives.  We are certain that our purpose is to accommodate everyone else…so we inconvenience ourselves.

We make sacrifices.  We change our plans, change our intentions, alter our goals in order to avoid disappointing other people.

If Pathwalking is about choosing our own paths, and controlling our lives, then isn’t working not to disappoint others the opposite?

I have no doubt this seems counter-intuitive.  But you will discover that the more you disappoint yourself, the more you will wind up disappointing others.

Just like you can rely on no one but yourself to make yourself happy, and just like only you have control over how you feel; if you disappoint yourself you will likely disappoint others more.

Part of the problem we encounter is that we need other people.  There are very few of us who prefer to simply be alone.  We are social animals.  We form groups, we create families, and these are usually among others who share some of our values, goals, ideas, or general view of the Universe.  In order to keep those groups cohesive, we strive to not disappoint or be a disappointment to these people.

Welcome to a wonderful paradox.  We do not want to disappoint or be disappointed, and there are certainly times that these will require actions that oppose one another.  Choose to disappoint, or choose to be disappointed.  What do you do?

I am writing of this due to personal experience.  I am currently planning a life-event that requires a great deal of organization.  Having shared aspects of the plans with various people, I have caused disappointment in that there is disagreement about what I want to do.  Certain people believe that my choices are inappropriate, and they are causing conflict.

The question I am faced with is – disappoint myself, or disappoint others?  If I accede to the disappointment of others, I will be in turn be disappointed.  If I refuse, they will be displeased that I would not do right by them.

Who’s life is it, mine or theirs?  I can’t please everyone all the time, and no matter what course of action I choose here, someone is bound to be disappointed.  Should that someone be me?  I have to go with no.

Selfish?  I do not believe that is the case here.  This presents the line in the sand we come to in avoiding disappointment.  But if I am walking my own path, making my own choices, and accepting control of my own emotions – then why should I disappoint myself to avoid disappointing others?

If you compromise yourself, if you let others influence you when it comes to their feelings, you start down a slippery slope, and you will be constantly facing this challenge.  While in this specific instance I do not believe I am being selfish, it is very possible anyone on the outside will see that I am.

Just as I cannot live your life for you, you cannot live my life for me.  I cannot control when you feel disappointed in me, but I CAN control when I feel disappointment in myself or others.  Pathwalking is about knowing this control and accepting that choice sometimes has a price outside of ourselves.

One alternative thought on disappointment.  Given the paradoxical nature of this, sometimes disappointing others will actually show you where you will inevitably disappoint yourself.  Analyze what it is that is causing the disappointment in the outside influencer, because it is possible they are seeing something you are missing.  Follow no-one blindly, including yourself.

Shakespeare said it perfectly.  “To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.”

How do you handle disappointment/disappointing others?

 

This is the one-hundred nineteenth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Thank you for joining me.

The first year of Pathwalking is available in print and for your Kindle.

Pathwalking 118

Other people do not determine your worth.  You do.

The old adage is true – you cannot please everyone all the time.  You are going to do things that are going to upset and alienate and maybe even infuriate other people.  It cannot be helped – this is just a part of human nature.

Choosing your own life and walking your own path is going to have pitfalls and perils, ups and downs and so on.  People will not understand you, will not understand your actions, and will not accept that you have the right to choose for yourself.

Because we have a deep need to be accepted by others and to win approval for our actions, it is easy to let others determine our worth.  It is stunningly easy to let the opinions of others overcrowd your thought process and determine for you your worth as a person.

It is hard when those people are random acquaintances, but even harder when they are friends.  Harder still is when they are dear, close friends or even family.  They likely do not mean to judge you, they believe in all likelihood that they have your best interests at heart.  Still, that does little good when your worth as a person gets called into question and makes you feel bad.

You ARE worthwhile.  You are deserving of the good things in life you desire.  You have incredible value as a person, no matter what anyone else believes.

This is one of those great universal truths.  EVERYONE has worth.  Everyone has value.  Our morals may be different, our beliefs may not align, but that does not lessen anyone else, or you.  We can agree to disagree, and frankly we should.  No two people are alike.  But even with that said, we all have worth.

There are an incredible array of negative messages constantly broadcast about the worth and worthiness of people.  The haves versus the have-nots.  The rich versus the poor.  The religious versus the atheists.  We wind up in competition to determine worth.

People love competition.  The professional sports industry, be it baseball, football, basketball, soccer or what-have-you generates obscene amounts of revenue.  People get obsessive about rooting for their home team and choosing their favorite players.  We see competition played out in massive events where the winner takes home an impressive paycheck and often hero status.

We love to make competition personal.  We wind up competing with people for jobs, for love, for power, for things both consequential and inconsequential.  The outcome of that competition is often the basis of where we get our idea of worthiness or worthlessness.

Competition between two teams for entertainment is one thing, competing with one another for inconsequentials is quite another.  We have somehow managed to convince ourselves that we live in a world of lack, a world of not enough, a world where artificial limitations become the accepted truths of life.

We find ourselves determining our worth based upon our homes, our jobs, our associations, our education and other tangibles.  We also determine our worth based on social status, education, intelligence, wisdom and other intangibles.  We use these things to also determine the worth of others, and pass judgment from there.

Pathwalking is about choosing the life you want to lead.  The thing is, those who do not choose their own paths are no less worthy of finding happiness and contentment than those who do.  People who allow others to control their lives for them are no less worthy than those who wrest control for themselves.

This is not to say that everyone should necessarily get a trophy just for getting out of bed every day.  Mediocrity is a far cry from exceptionality, and we should not just reward everybody for the sake of sparing their feelings.  However, winners or losers, brilliant or middling, fat or thin, short or tall, everyone has their own worth.

Not only do other people not determine our worth – remember that likewise we cannot determine the worth of others.  There is no need to compete, there is no need to compare what makes any of us more or less worthy – everyone has worth.  Everyone has value.

You are a worthwhile person, and you deserve to have the life you most desire, to walk the path you want to choose, and to enjoy everything life has to offer.  No one but you can determine this to be true.  Choosing your own path to know your own person and discover and live a life you want most will only work out when you accept that you ARE worthy of it.

Do you believe you are worthwhile?

 

This is the one-hundred eighteenth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Thank you for joining me.

The first year of Pathwalking is available in print and for your Kindle.

Pathwalking 117

Sometimes The Universe just kicks you in the teeth.

There are times when no matter how hard you work, no matter how much you struggle, no matter all the good you do and all the positivity you generate, you do not win.

We have all been disappointed when our expectations were crushed.  I don’t know anybody who has not experienced this.  That time you got sick when you were supposed to take a great trip or that date that did not happen or the job you did not get.  These things will happen, and they will take you by surprise, and they will shake your faith to its foundations.

I am constantly talking about putting forth positive energy.  I am always writing about how positive begets positive, how you need to be mindful of your thoughts and how that will make your life better and happier.  This is an enormous aspect of Pathwalking, and also one of its greatest challenges.

The trouble is, just because you are putting forth positive energy and positive thoughts and focus it does not mean that you will not still be saddled with negativity.  Bad things can and will still happen.

I am going to share with you something very personal now.  I was expecting a fairly substantial tax return from the US Government this year.  I was counting on it to help me ease many expenses and allow me to get my head financially above water.  I received notice that my tax return has been claimed by one of my debtors in full, and I will be receiving none of it.

Kicked in the teeth.  So what do I do about it?  Scream?  Rant and rave?  Destroy things in an uncontrolled rage?  Demand justice from the Universe and curse out the Powers-that-be?   Break down emotionally, mentally, physically?  Sob?  Whine and kvetch?  Raise my fist in anger and damn the government for screwing me over?

All of these might be a release of some kind, but none of them will do me any good.  I cannot change this, I cannot fight it, but I can direct it.  I can choose how I will react to it.  Yes, this stings a LOT, but I am not letting my disappointment defeat me.  I have chosen a path, I will continue upon it, and I will accept the let-down and go on.

I believe that this is just a moment in time.  This awful thing, this unfortunate disappointment.  I am being shown that I can go back to who I used to be, overreact in an utterly useless way…or I can take what I have learned and go about my path despite this obstacle.

This sucks.  In no uncertain terms I really needed the money I was expecting.  However, I will find another way.

Here is where I am going to go hooky-spooky on this.  I believe that this is the final hiccup before I realize my journey.  Despite how cliché this phrase is – it is darkest before the dawn – this is that moment.  This is that faith-shaking event that is the last gasp of who I USED to be attempting to overwhelm who I AM now.  This is the point where I either give up, cease to believe what I know is true about my choices and despair…or I push forward, let this unwanted event pass and continue along my path.

I am amazed by my own calm.  Just a couple of years ago I would have been enraged, my heart would have raced, I would have cried out and ranted about how unfair life is, how greedy the state can be, how I can never win and am always behind the eight ball.  But that is who I used to be, that is not the man I am now who began Pathwalking and continues to do so.

I know that this is just a moment in time, it is not a grand conspiracy to ruin my life and make me poor.  I know that this is just a bump in the road, not a sign that I am utterly wrong about what I know is true about life and the universe.  And despite the hardship, the disappointment and the twinge of sadness over this I cannot help but feel…I am ok.

This is not the end of anything.  This is a moment.  Disappointment like this is not a sign from the Powers-that-be that you are wrong, that you have chosen poorly, or that you are undeserving.  It is just one of those inevitable moments that are a reflection of past attitudes and fears.  This can only divert me from choosing to walk this or some other path if I allow it to.

I have come too far to turn back.  You cannot go backwards in time, you can only go forwards.  I will not be brought down by this disappointment, I will not let this drive me to negative thoughts and feelings, I will sigh, say that this unfortunate, but it is what it is and I will let it go.

I would go on to tell you that this is not easy…but in truth, I am finding that it is.  I know what path I want to traverse, I know what I want from my life, and I know that these things can and will happen, and I have discovered that accepting this without question feels utterly right.

This is the proof that when you control how you allow yourself to feel, you can better cope with those bad feelings and negative emotions.  They happen, you acknowledge them, you feel them…but when you let them wash over you rather than hanging onto them to soak in that negativity, they have next to no power over you.  I am in control here.  Just as you are in control there.

Even when the Universe kicks you when you are down, you can choose whether to let it go or hold onto the negative energies.  This is Pathwalking, not only choosing control over your path, your destiny and your life, but control over your emotions, which you and you alone have the power to do.  Disappointment will occur, but how you feel about it and hold onto it or let it go is utterly yours to control.

I have been disappointed.  It is what it is, I have accepted it and commented upon it; I let it wash over me and let it go, and I continue along my path.  I have no doubt I am ok.  I know you can be too.

How will you cope with your next disappointment?

 

This is the one-hundred seventeenth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Thank you for joining me.

The first year of Pathwalking is available in print and for your Kindle.

Pathwalking 116

Are you true to yourself?

Do you treat yourself in the same manner you wish to be treated by others?  Do you respect yourself?  Do you hold yourself in high esteem?  Do you like yourself?  Do you love yourself?

It never ceases to amaze me how little we ask these questions of ourselves.  We are so keen to learn how those around us are doing, how our friends and family are feeling, how our coworkers are handling stress – we ignore our own needs.

Part of this is due to a great many mixed messages, telling us that if we do not give of ourselves, we do not deserve to have the good we desire.  You must give to receive.  You cannot be selfish.

That is the problem.  We are quick to jump to accusations of selfishness.  We have all thought it about someone.  He’s so selfish…she is so stuck on herself.  And because we do not want to be similarly judged, we strive for selflessness.

As a Pathwalker, I am working to make the life I most desire for myself.  I want to choose my own path, take my own way, be true to who I am at my core.  I also have to live in the real world – I have bills to pay, and various other obligations that cannot be neglected.  I seek to find the balance in my life that will make me most happy, and also let me live life as fully as possible.

I have recently begun to make more time to do the things I love.  As a writer, it is distressing how seldom I would take the time to work on any of my fiction projects.  Months at a time went by where no words found their way from my mind to the page.  In addition to that, I was only reading on a sporadic basis.  Writers also need to be readers, in order to best hone their craft.

I determined that I needed to write and read daily.  I began simply by choosing to take time every single day to write in one of my works of fiction and to read at least a chapter from a book.  The intent with this is to build a new habit, so that I am doing this very important thing for myself.  For more than a month I have succeeded in this.

Is the time I take for writing and reading every day selfish of me?  Is it inappropriate that every day I am reading for my own pleasure and writing worlds that exist only in my mind?  No.  I am not being selfish with this act – I am being true to myself.

Part of why I need to read daily is to see the style in which other writers work.  If I am reading some sort of fiction, I can see how my own work can be compared to that of others.  I may even gain insight in how to better plot my story, better describe my characters and situations.  Reading fictions also adds fuel to the fire of my imagination.

If I am reading a non-fiction, in all likelihood I am studying something to better my understanding of the world around me.  I may well be reading something to better myself.  This, too, sparks my imagination, and also gives me better insight into who I am, and who I want to be.

How do I answer my own questions I posed to you at the start of this?  Am I true to myself?  I certainly put a great deal of effort into this idea, but overall yes.

Do I treat myself in the same manner I wish to be treated by others?  Yes.  Do I respect myself?  Yes.  Do I hold myself in high esteem?  I am working on this.  I know that low self-esteem will not allow me to be happy.  Do I like myself?  Yes.  Do I love myself?  Again, a work in progress.  But compared to how I felt about who I was just a few years ago, I have come a long ways.  As I strive to better my dietary habits and frequency of exercise, I give myself more love for myself.

Does any of the above make me selfish?  No.  I believe that actual selfishness is a combination of greed, egotism, and low self-esteem.  A selfish person does not give to themselves, they take for themselves.  They do not get things from others, they take them.  They have a tight grip upon the things they take and hold for themselves, and cannot be reached.  That is what makes a selfish individual.

I give these things to myself.  I also strive to give similar things to others.  Whether friends and family, or strangers who might be reading these words, I want to give to others what I give to myself, and I only wish to take what is offered.

This does not mean you should not strive for an opportunity.  It does not mean you should not take a chance.  There are things that will be placed before you that are meant to be taken by you.  You will know they are for you to take.

When you pause to ask yourself questions, you are most true to yourself.  When you are most true to yourself, it is almost impossible to be selfish, because I believe that when you are true to yourself you find giving makes you far more happy than taking.  When you are true to yourself I believe you will be inspired to be more true to others.  I think it is kind of impossible to be selfish while being true to both yourself and others.

In conclusion, I have one question for you.  Are you being true to yourself?

 

This is the one-hundred sixteenth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Thank you for joining me.

The first year of Pathwalking is available in print and for your Kindle.

Pathwalking 115

Jealousy is a useless emotion.

Our emotions serve numerous purposes.  They let us feel beyond intellect, beyond the most basic knowledge into a far broader world.  Our wide gamut of emotions is part of what makes each of us so unique.

Most emotions serve a purpose.  They let us know if we are in a positive or negative mindset.  They let us express ourselves beyond words, facial expressions, and any other physical gestures.  Emotions cover a vast array of topics, range from the good to the bad to the indifferent, and are a part of how our souls express themselves in the world.

When it comes to all the emotions we are capable of feeling, there is no emotion more useless than jealousy.

What IS jealousy?  Dictionary.com defines it thus:

noun

1.jealous resentment against a rival, a person enjoying success or advantage, etc., or against another’s success or advantage itself.

2.mental uneasiness from suspicion or fear of rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc., as in love or aims.

3.vigilance in maintaining or guarding something.

4.a jealous feeling, disposition, state, or mood.

An expression of resentment directed at someone or something, suspicion, uneasiness.  Jealousy is an emotion that we do not really hold for ourselves, but against another.

Pathwalking is about controlling our choices, taking control over our emotions, and seeking and making our own destinies.  Jealousy is an emotion that has nothing to do with the self, and as such is a useless emotion.

Jealousy is tough to identify because it often hides as another emotion.  Unwarranted anger, fear, that uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach.  Jealousy rarely stands on its own, it chooses and even hijacks other emotions to use as disguises, because jealousy on its own serves no purpose at all.

I have written more than once that you have no control over anyone else.  No matter how much I share about my ideas and Pathwalking, I cannot make you walk a path, I cannot change you as a person, I cannot directly change the external.  The only thing anyone can truly take control of is personal, internal things.

Jealousy is an emotional response based wholly on an external factor.  There might be something that causes me to become jealous, and from there the only thing I can get is negativity.  Negative begets negative, I write often, and as such I will not be able to easily walk my path if I am in that headspace.

Jealousy can take on so many forms.  It is the attention a loved one is getting from another.  It is the award you see a fellow get that you feel you are more worthy of.  It is the promotion you are passed over for by another.

What is jealousy, really?  It is a lack of self-esteem.  We become jealous because something happens that makes us question our own worth, our own deserving of the things we want.  Jealousy is a manifestation of doubt, discontent, confusion that we direct at another.  It is a cleverly disguised emotion that does not serve anyone in any way, except to give us someone or something other than ourselves to blame our discontent on.

How do I identify and discard jealousy?  This is hard.  We all find ourselves having instances of jealousy, but it often takes someone else to point out to us that our anger, our mistrust, our discontent is jealousy.

The first step is to be more in touch with my own emotions.  Ask – How am I feeling?  What am I feeling?  Why am I feeling this?

Why is important in regards to jealousy.  It is asking why that will identify the external issue, and help to locate and deal with the internal one.

The most important thing here is to acknowledge that jealousy is a useless emotion.  It does nothing to improve life, it does nothing to help you along your path, it does not serve you in any positive manner.  Accepting the uselessness of jealousy is the first step in combating its grip on your other, hijacked emotions.

We cannot be positive and happy all the time, I know that.  But we can choose how long to live with and dwell in negativity.  We can certainly identify and stamp out jealousy and its ineffectuality.  I believe that if more people lived less jealously of other people, we might all find greater contentment in smaller and more meaningful things.

Can you see why jealousy is meaningless?

 

This is the one-hundred fifteenth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Thank you for joining me.

The first year of Pathwalking is available in print and for your Kindle.

Pathwalking 114

No matter how many answers you come up with, there are always more questions.

This, however, is a very good thing.

Life is constantly changing.  There are always new things to discover, to learn, to experience.  Even when day after day is largely similar, there are always going to be moments where there is new and different and unique.

Thus there are always questions.  Even when you find answers to your questions, you still get more questions.  I am going to state again – this is a good thing.

Why?  Why are more questions a good thing?  Because more questions mean more opportunities to learn, to grow, to change.  Life is not meant to be stagnant, unchanging and totally constant.  Every time you have a new question, you have a new opportunity to experience this, and to discover new things.

I am constantly stating that change is a good thing.  Change is necessary for life, for growth.  A part of that is questioning what you experience, questioning what you learn and as such learning more and newer things.

Pathwalking is about gaining better understanding and control of your personal world.  Pathwalking is making your own goals, choosing your own paths and destiny.  In order to know what makes up your path, you have to ask questions.

Even when you find answers to your questions, things change.  As such, that means there must be more questions.  More questions means more opportunities to make changes, and to direct your own life as you would most desire to have it.

I believe that there are too many people in the world today afraid of asking questions.  Rather than ask questions, they prefer to just accept what other people give them, what others tell them.  They absorb information, but do not question it…and we wind up with too many people who are dissatisfied and distressed with their lives.  And rather than ask the necessary questions that would help them learn how to find a path out of the situation they would rather not be in, they continue to seek out others to do the questioning for them.

It is increasingly easy to put the proverbial horse before the cart, and just take the answers we find.  Many people are unwilling to question the answers they are presented with, and accept things at face value that they might otherwise not if they were willing to do some analysis.  Its easy to let someone else give you answers, but wisdom is borne of questioning even the answers, to make sure they sit with who you are and how you think and live your life.

What is right for me is not right for you.  Even when we ask the same questions, our answers may be very different.  But more importantly than the answers, the process we take to get to them will help us to determine the path we would choose, and how we go about choosing it.

As a Pathwalker, I work to choose my own way, to make my own destiny.  It is a process, and there are good days and bad days.  Sometimes I question if I am making the right choices.  And that is ok.  Asking questions is the only way to analyze the path, and to determine what is and is not working, and how to make necessary adjustments along the way.

Nobody knows everything. There are certainly experts on various topics, but even the experts had to ask questions to learn what they know.  Questions are essential for knowledge, for prosperity, for understanding, for every aspect of life you can think of.  The only way to learn new things is to ask questions in order to find the answers.

Questions.  Always it comes down to questions.  The right questions, the wrong questions – this is in many ways of more import than the answers.  Without questions we are incapable of knowing ourselves, and if we do not know ourselves, how can we know other people?  How can we know our desires?  How can we know our goals?  All of these questions and their asking are incredibly important to any path we may desire to choose.

Without more questions, there cannot be more growth.  Do not let seemingly endless questions daunt you, or throw you from your path.  Know that Pathwalking is constant questions, without which you will be unable to discover new things and new paths and choose the best life you can make for yourself.

What questions are you asking?

 

This is the one-hundred fourteenth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Thank you for joining me.

The first year of Pathwalking is available in print and for your Kindle.

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