The Ramblings of the Titanium Don

Explorations of Conscious Reality Creation and Other Matters

Tag: intangible

Am I Worthy and Deserving?

I am worthy and deserving of awesomeness in my life.

It’s interesting how often I need to remind myself of this.  There have been many instances where I do not feel as though I deserve to have the things I desire in my life.

Worthy and DeservingCrossing the Bridges is the most personal of my weekly posts.  I am exploring not only my philosophies and approaches to life, but my actual, factual life.

In Positivity I pointed out that YOU are amazing!  Part of the reason for this is because recognition of worth is something we take too often for granted.  Along this same line, Pathwalking involved looking at the empowerment of praise.  Praising can raise our frequencies.  Higher frequencies are associated with better feelings.  I don’t know anyone who doesn’t want to feel good.

For much of my life, I have struggled with my self-esteem.  Some of this is borne of depression, some of it is life experiences along the way.  Recognizing my own self-worth, and deserving of good things has proven to be challenging at times.

While getting outside validation of my worth can help, it’s really a matter of me recognizing my own deserving.  Am I worthy of success, abundance, and overall good things in my life?  Logically, I know the answer is yes.  But feeling it is where the challenge often lies.

Feeling emotions has been a struggle for me most of my life.  Sure, there are several instances from my past I can point to for this, but they do not matter now.  No, I am an adult.  I need to take responsibility for how I feel.  When I am not feeling right, it’s up to me to work in the here-and-now to adjust that.

There is never a quick-fix when it comes to this.

Recognizing being worthy and deserving is not a selfish act.

One of the other issues that comes from this is a fear of being perceived as selfish.  We are socially so inundated by stories of unbelievable greed and selfishness, it’s hard not to see any act that does not help other people as one that’s not selfish.

Taking care of ourselves is not the same as being selfish.  Being selfish comes from a lack mentality.  It’s the notion that there is not enough to go around, so I have to hoard what there is.  Greed is of the same ilk, and a monetary form of selfishness.

When I say I am deserving and worthy of awesomeness in my life, I am also suggesting that you are, too.  But in order to have more to give, I need to have some for myself.

We live in an abundant universe.  This is not an easy thing to recognize, because our society is hyper-focused on lack and scarcity.  Consciousness creates reality.  The more we focus on what we don’t want, the more we are in danger of creating.

I am a good person.  Maybe I am not always the best office worker, and from time to time I can be stubborn.  But I am a good person, with a good heart.  I want to live a life with abundance and prosperity.  Not just so that I can have more of the things I want, but so that I can also give more.

The awesomeness I am worthy and deserving of is both tangible and intangible.

Nobody but you can determine your own worth.  Yet regularly, we turn to peers and loved ones for affirmation.   The thing is, even if they tell us we are worthy, we might not feel it.

This is why I am stating in the open that I am worthy and deserving of a good life.  Because everyone is.

We are worthy even when we screw up.

Every single one of us is perfectly imperfect.  Part of the human condition is that we’re going to get it wrong.  We will cause someone to feel hurt, or disrespected, or unloved.  We will make mistakes.  There will be foul-ups both great and small along the way.  These are the lessons that help us to grow.  They do not lessen our worth.

I have been reciting a new Mantra or Mightiness, as Jen Sincero calls it, for almost two weeks.  As often as I am putting it out there, I need to do so even more.  It reminds me of my worth, and that I deserve to be abundant and happy.

There is always work to be done.  This is actually a good thing, because that work is how we grow.  I have a lot of things I am aiming to do with my life.  I know that I can make them happen.

Abundance and prosperity are things I am worthy and deserving of, just the same as you are.  It is ok to be aware of this.  Awareness is consciousness, and consciousness creates reality.

As always, thank you for crossing the bridges between my worlds with me!

 

This is the sixty-eighth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

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How Do I Express All My Appreciation?

I am not sure I can fully express just how much appreciation I have for each and every one of you who follows my journey.

When I began The Ramblings of the Titanium Don, I had no real direction, and just randomly posted from time to time.  Almost six years ago I started Pathwalking, and with that developed some direction.  Now this entire blog has a purpose, and it is my hope that you’ll stick with me as I explore it.

AppreciationI have spent a great deal of my life trying to figure out who I am.  Identity has always been an interesting challenge for me.  As a small child, I remember spending a tremendous amount of my time alone.  I am not blaming anyone for this, and probably because I was alone I developed the imagination I possess.  With my imagination, I turned that to writing.  My first completed work of sci-fi, Wildfire, was 50 pages and illustrated when I was 9 years old.

When I was a teenager, and finally began to develop a group of friends, I shunted parts of my true self in order to be accepted.  I saw the interactions between everyone, and altered how I acted in order to belong.  Over the years I would lose myself in striving to find acceptance amongst people. As such, my identity got clouded and somewhat confused.

After the accident that caused me to be partially made of titanium, I received an outpouring of support from my friends and loved ones.  The appreciation I have for those who supported me at that time is immeasurable.  After that life-changing event, however, I truly began to explore my identity.  I started to seek out my genuine self in ways I’d never done before.

Self-appreciation is important.

I saw a lot of pieces of myself in this time that I was not so fond of.  There were things I did that were fairly douchey, selfish, and unfair to many people.  Check out The Journey of A Thousand Miles Begins With a Trip to the Post Office if you want to see just what I am talking about.  Over the next decade-and-a-half I began to seek my true-identity out, and to learn to be comfortable in my own skin.

There were many paths I took in order to get to know myself.  I went into therapy (certainly not for the first time) and made use of anti-depressants like Prozac.  There was Zen study, meditation and I did active journaling.  I worked to come to grips with both my good and bad qualities.  Rather than place blame, I worked to take responsibility for all the ways in which I was messed-up.  I have tremendous appreciation for the therapist I was seeing at the time, and the friendships I developed.

For a long time I have had no appreciation for myself.  Frankly, I have often been really critical of who I am.  I criticize my weight, my odd job history, my many failed relationships, my temper, my impatience, and all the rest of my faults.  Focus on my faults of course would depress me, and depression is a miserable feeling.

I began to see that it was of greater import to me to be happy.  Nearly everything I do with my life is part of an effort to find happiness and joy.  With that realization I began to put more effort into knowing my self-identity, and finding new ways to improve my self-appreciation.

Appreciation appreciates.

This is why gratitude is so key to conscious reality creation.  When I have stopped focusing on my faults and imperfections, and instead worked on appreciating my good qualities, my life improved immensely.  I developed the most stable relationships I’ve ever had, solidified friendships, held some good jobs, and have been writing more frequently.

One of the main issues I have had over the years has been insufficient gratitude for the things I have in my life.  I love the people in my life, whether my friends and/or family.  I want to share my appreciation for you all.  As I work on conscious reality creation, I am extremely grateful to have you along for this ride with me.

Crossing the bridges between my worlds lets me have the life I most want to have.  I want to lead a life of joy.  Yes, there are some pretty awful things happening in the world today, but I won’t allow them to overcome my thoughts and feelings.

Feeling grateful for all the people and things I have in my life will generate more positivity,.  This allows for more things to express appreciation for to be brought forth.  I have made this work before, and I know that I can make it work again.

It is important to not get hung up on the things I can’t do anything about.  I need to say thank you, focus on the good things I have, material or immaterial.  I need to seek out more good things.  Doing this will allow for conscious reality creation, and that is important to living the life I most desire to live.

My appreciation for you is a part of this.

I thank you for joining my on this crazy trip.  I hope that by coming along with me on this ride, your own journey across the bridges of your life is a more joyous event.

As always, thank you for crossing the bridges between my worlds with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 46:

The goal log was not at all maintained.  Re-evaluating this going forward.

 

This is the sixty-first entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

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Will Your Path Make You Happy?

What is important to me is that I live a good life, and am happy more often than not.

We all have different priorities.  Nobody’s emotions are exactly the same.  While we may give our emotions the same names, odds are how they feel to each of us differs.

Taking that another step, what makes me happy is going to be different from what makes you happy.  Not just because of how it may feel differently to each of us, but because the what of happiness is such a wide perspective.

Right now our society is beset by people who care about nobody but themselves.  Business leaders and government officials have been particularly selfish and uncaring.  Many see the world as a pie, but a singular, small, limited pie, with only a few slices to go around.  Rather than use their ability to produce unlimited pie, they hoard what they have and try to convince everyone else that this is the truth.

There is not enough pie to go around.  I am going to take this all for myself, and none for you.  Of course, if they viewed this as limitless instead, we would all have more to share, more to give, more in general.

The Universe is vast beyond our ability to comprehend it.  Further, the Universe is abundant.  This is not a place of lack and want, it is a place of more than enough and plenty.  It’s important to recognize this because I believe that a tremendous amount of our unhappiness comes from feeling lack.

We all want to feel.

This is something we often deny.  I think one of the reasons for the popularity of the notion of Vulcans in Star Trek is the lack of emotion.  When you don’t feel emotion, you don’t feel want, and as such you don’t feel lack or loss.  Emotions are viewed as weakness, and showing them often is considered socially unacceptable.

Thing is, like it or not, we are emotional creatures.  Humans feel things.  Good and bad, happy and sad, ecstatic and angry, and everything in between – having emotions is part of the human experience.  Taking this out further, I believe that the thing we most want from our lives is to feel positive emotions.

Why do you do the things you do?  Because at the end of the day, you want to feel good.  Yes, this is a generalization, but I believe that most of us want to experience good things in our lives.  We want to be happy, or at least content, with the lives we lead.

It’s all well and good to just be.  If that makes you happy, then more power to you.  But if you are displeased with life more often than otherwise, I am pretty sure that you are probably working to find ways to be more content.  Means to be happier.

Pathwalking is about choosing for ourselves how our lives are to be.  Yes, that involves working towards goals, some of which are material.  But even the material goals are meant to be part of something more, something greater.  My goal may be to become a best-selling author, but WHY I want to achieve that is because in the end, I believe that that will make me happy.

Happy and nature versus society.

We have been presented with a pretty standard expectation of what life should be.  There is a widespread belief on the part of our society for what we should be doing, how we should be living, and what we should expect.  While on the one hand we encourage people to dream and strive to grow bigger than they are, on the other hand we discourage them from stepping away from the common.  Often we tell them that taking their own path is fraught with risk, and an unacceptably low chance of reward.

Is it any wonder our society often seems kind of schizophrenic?  We tell you that this is the land of opportunity, but then we advise you not to take a chance.  You get told that you should strive to be more than you are, but then people tell you they’re afraid you’ll fail.  We play on fear so frequently that we find that state of being to be perfectly ok.

I for one do not want to live in a state of fear.  Life is too short and too full of possibilities for me to accept that fear should dominate me.  Yes, things can happen to you when you take a risk…but things can also happen to you when you DON’T take chances.  We often are lead to believe that it’s better not to try at all than to try and fail.

Do you know what our world would be like today if many of the great innovators had accepted that?  If they had not tried and failed and tried again, so many modern conveniences we take for granted just would not exist.  Sometimes failure is the best teacher.

In the end it’s all about emotions.

Frequently the things we want are material.  From the physical like cars and homes and jewelry to the abstract like good jobs, great relationships and wealth, these are tangible things.  Yet why do you think you want the tangible things you want?  Because you believe they will make you happy.

This is part of why we all want different things.  What makes me happy is going to be different from what makes you happy, him happy, her happy, them happy, and so on.  We all want different things, and even when we want similar things they may be for different reasons.  My point is, the things we want are actually manifested tangibles of the intangibles we truly desire.

I do not know anybody who wants to be unhappy.  Even the people I know who seem to take some sort of pleasure in being frequently miserable do not actually desire for that to be their state of being.  In the end, the paths we walk are lead to a good emotional place.

Acknowledging this can go a long ways towards understanding ourselves better.  When we recognize that we have emotional needs, I believe we can do better with our self-care.

Last and certainly not least – you deserve to be happy.  Really, truly, you do.  You are worthy of having a good and happy life.  I know that may be hard to believe sometimes – I certainly struggle with it.  But it is unequivocally true.

How do you think the things you want from your path will make you happy?

 

This is the three-hundred-first entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

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