The Ramblings of the Titanium Don

Explorations of Conscious Reality Creation and Other Matters

Tag: changes (Page 1 of 20)

How Does Decision Empower?

Decision has not always been my strong suit.

I have been notorious for being indecisive.  Well, maybe occasionally I fail to make decisions.  Or, maybe I agonize over decisions, and consequently choose not to choose anything, or…

DecisionSo there’s that.  Lately, though, I have been working on doing better with making choices and deciding things for my life.

For example, with the move we are making, many things have been discarded.  Do I need this?  If the answer has been no, then away it goes.  Once the move is complete, when I begin to go through boxes that have previously lived in storage, I will most certainly toss out more things.

I have been something of a pack rat most of my life.  However, as I have come to value more esoteric and intangible things, I find much of the stuff I have doesn’t need to remain with me.  So, look at that, I discard what I don’t need.

This has been a part of my decision issues, I also recognize.  How?  By keeping stuff that no longer serves me, I am not deciding to let go of it.  Stuff accumulates, and before I know it I have all this crap I no longer need.

In working on crossing the bridges between my worlds, one decision that was really important to me was using my name on all the different forms of writing I do.  Fiction or non-fiction, Steampunk or Fantasy, blog or other copy, I use MJ Blehart.  For a while I was having a very hard time with bridging the gaps between the worlds I perceive for myself.  I needed to decide if I should create multiple personae, or bridge the gaps with just the one name.

Decision is seldom set in stone.

Because I have often feared the outcome of a given decision, I have chosen not to decide, or to delay a decision, or to otherwise hedge my bets.  However, they would regularly bring me to a crossroads on the paths I was walking, Pathwalking or no, and something would have to give.

My indecision, over the years, has cost me opportunities, jobs, relationships, even friends.  Mind you, I am not saying that with rancor or regret, just a statement of fact.  Everything that happens along the way is a growth opportunity.  My indecision, as much as my decisions, are how I have come to this place in my life.  Overall, even while seeking improvements, I am happy to be in this place with my life.

One of the reasons behind all my indecision has been fear of change.  As I wrote both in Positivity and Pathwalking this week, change is inevitable.  Everything changes, and that is the most constant constant in the universe.  Nothing is truly stable or stagnant, change is a given.

Changes can be pretty scary.  I think it’s the human nesting instinct that causes us to be so resistant to change.  We want to curl up in our comfortable nests, and watch the world go by. At least for a while.  But then, oh, this is kind of boring…and we change our way.

Another important thing about decision and change is that very little of what I decide is permanent.  Jobs can be changed, new opportunities can be sought, there are always new people to meet and things to learn.  Just because I decide a certain way today, it does not mean I am trapped in that way forever.  Or very long at all, really.

It has taken me a long time to learn this lesson.

Decision is empowering.

Pathwalking is about choosing a destiny for myself.  I see the world I want to live in, see what I want for myself, so I choose a path that I believe will get me where I want to go.  There are good days and bad days.  Sometimes it feels like no matter what I choose, my decision could be wrong.  But because I have made a choice, and I have decided, I have empowered myself.

To decide is to define choice.  I am doing this.  When I choose in this manner, I am empowering myself, because I am the one living my life.  Nobody else can choose what is best for me, so when I have gone ahead and chosen, I can get to wherever I want to go.

It’s important for me to remember the power of this.  When I am having moments of indecision, I need to better take action, and decide instead of not.

One of the reasons I created Crossing the Bridges was in order to make a specific decision.  As mentioned before, I wanted all of my writing under my single name.  I still struggle with this at times, but I believe that I made the right choices.

Decision can change the world.  I am working to decide on a more regular basis, and choose the life I most desire to lead.  As always, thank you for crossing the bridges between my worlds with me.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 47:

The goal log was not at all maintained.  Re-evaluating this still.

 

This is the sixty-second entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

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What Changes Do You Want to Make?

Choosing what changes we make for our lives is a key goal of Pathwalking.

The entire cosmos is in a constant state of change.  I think probably one of the only constants in the universe is that everything changes, constantly.

Human nature seeks stability.  We like to know who we are, where we are, and what we are.  As such, there is resistance to change, which can even get pretty violent at times.  Yet no matter how much we want things to just BE a certain way…they will change.

Why is this true?  Because if everything stayed the same, we’d never grow.  Mankind wouldn’t even exist if the ecosystem of Earth hadn’t changed along the way.  There are numerous points of human history that it is best we left behind as we grew and learned along the way.

Recognizing this truth for what it is would probably make the entire world a far better place.  I know I keep bringing this up, but the current positions of a huge number of American political leaders are entirely founded on undoing already-completed change.  They refuse to accept that you can’t go back, in especial to a time and place that only existed in certain-people’s minds.

Other examples include the whole Brexit debacle in Britain, Islamic State extremists across the globe, and climate-change and science deniers.  They see certain changes as scary, economically unsound, or in opposition to their desires, and resist with obstructionism.  Change is stull occurring, and we all get to choose to obstruct or work with it.

In Pathwalking, we look to make choices for the life we want to lead, and as such choose changes to be made.  It’s important to acknowledge that we can change who we are, what we are, and everything else about our individual lives.

 Choosing changes for ourselves is empowering.

I need to do a better job of recognizing that there are many things happening in the world today I can do little or nothing about.  When I get upset about awful things I see happening, my focus goes to negativity, and I disempower myself.  Pathwalking is conscious reality creation, and choosing for myself the life I most want to manifest.

If you are a decent human being, it’s pretty hard to ignore what’s happening to the world at large.  I would not suggest we should ignore it, but we should alter our focus.  Write letters, make phone calls, march in protests, but then work on your own life.  Do the things that will empower you.  Find happiness, joy, and manifest positivity for yourself.

This is NOT a selfish act.  In this fear-based society filled with anxiety, surreal greed and other negatives, it can be challenging to see the difference between selfish and self-care.  When we neglect to care for ourselves, we have far less to give than we realize.  This contributes to stress, dis-ease, illness, and general unhappiness.

I have things in my life I am striving to change.  Rather than just let them happen, I want to choose for myself.  When I work on changes for myself, I am empowered.  When I am empowered, I can do more to empower other people in the world around me, directly or indirectly.

Nobody can change anybody else, unless they allow themselves to be changed.  You can’t help people who do not want to be helped.  But we can do for ourselves, strive to be the best people we can be.  Each of us can choose paths to empowerment, and do more good from those places.

Pathwalking directs changes to manifest better.

Consciousness creates reality.  Rather than just let the world turn around me, I want to have a direct impact on this.  My life is mine, and mine alone.  Yes, I choose to share it in many ways with many different people.  When faced with change, I want to choose for myself where that can and will take me.

I long ago saw three distinct ways to live life.  The first, and most pervasive, is to let life live you.  You go with the flow, things happen around you in their own time, and you do little to choose changes along the way.  The second is to curl up in a ball and wait for death.  This is sometimes literal, but more often than not involves waiting for others to do for you.  It’s about avoiding living in the here-and-now in any number of different ways.  It involves placing lots of blame and letting life totally pass you by.

The third way is where Pathwalking was born.  Grab life like the bull by the horns, and take it for a ride.  You strive to choose what you want for life, decide where to go and what to do.  Changes are made to empower conscious reality creation.  Effort is made to get the most out of life, see if for all its wonders and possibilities.  Live life, rather than let life live you.

There are times this is not easy.  But then, truly, nothing worth having is ever all that easy.  I want to manifest the most joyful, interesting life that I can.  I know that change happens, and even when I am content and want things to just be as they are, changes will occur.  By choosing my paths, I decide the forms this can take.

Make the changes you want for you.

As you are reading this, I am working from Boxhenge.  We are about to move, and this is going to be a pretty big change in my life.  I am moving two hours south, to somewhere rather new to me in many ways.  After over twenty years somewhere within an hour of NYC, now I will be less than an hour from Philadelphia.  Also, for the first time, I will have a full home-office space, and a fairly unfamiliar locale to explore and get to know.

This is both exciting and scary.  It’s a major change, but a welcome one.  We chose it for ourselves.  I can hardly wait to see what new paths will open before me, and what else I can manifest from here.

These are changes I want to make.  I believe they will help me to create the life I most want for myself.  I decided to choose them for myself, and am looking forward to where they will take me.

What changes do you want to make in your life and for your paths?

 

This is the three-hundred-ninth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for, and my personal experiences with, walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

 

 

How Can Change Generate Positivity?

Change is inevitable, but can be a huge source of positivity.

Let’s face it.  Everything changes.  The world evolves, and whether you want to admit it or no, change is going to occur.

ChangeSeasons change.  The weather changes.  We humans have a unique ability to change our clothes, our homes, our lives, and our minds.  Changes just are.

Often we just let change occur.  The world is turning, things happen.  Sometimes we accept this.  Other times, we resist it.

It’s important to recognize positive resistance versus negative resistance.  There is a difference.  Marching to protest unjust policy, writing and calling members of Congress, petitioning and other forms of resistance are positive, and a focus for directing changes.

Holding onto the past, trying to force matters into an unnatural shape, standing against progress, or holding tightly to a disproven belief and similar forms of resistance are negative, and present obstacles to change.  Obstructing will seldom, if ever, get you where you want to go.

Renowned psychologist Carl Jung said, “What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size.”  Or, to sum up, What you resist, persists.  This is rather pertinent to change.  When we resist changes, as in the form of obstruction, we will get more of what we don’t want.

The Universe is pretty consistent in using consciousness to create reality.  However, the Universe does not recognize don’t, do not, don’t want, or undo.  The Universe recognizes only item and desire.  So if you say I do not want this, the Universe only gets the message of want this.

Because many people fear change, we tend to resist in the obstructionist manner.  It takes very little thought to see this for what it is.

Change happens.

Positivity 199 - ChangeWhen we accept that change is going to happen, like it or not, we can choose how to work with it.  Stand against it, or with it?  Resist by trying to redirect, or resist by obstruction?  The choice is more in or hands than we generally recognize.

When we choose change, we get to choose to make it positive.  If things are not how we want them to be, we can choose to change them for the better.  I know sometimes it feels hopeless, but it really isn’t.  This can be an incredible source for positivity in this world.

Finding positivity is not hard, but it does require action.

Knowing that change happens whether we like it or not, we can choose to work with change to generate positivity.  When we strive to direct it instead of resist it with obstructions, we empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we frequently spread that feeling to others around us; as such, we can build more positive feelings in the collective consciousness.  We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings.  When we take away negative feelings, we open up space to let in positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.  Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  Positive attitude begets positive energy, and that is always a good thing.

 

This is the one hundred ninety-ninth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog (even if you’ve done so before – new service set up!), and receive your bonus content.

 

How Important is Communication to Pathwalking?

There needs to be communication.  Even an empath is not a mindreader.

Some people are better at reading people than others.  The definition of how one reads people, though, it rather broad.

Multiple factors go into reading people.  Some are surface, some more in depth.  On the surface there is body language, gestures, stances, facial expressions and other visual cues that will inform you as to what someone is thinking.

Reading someone’s emotional state is a lot trickier.  Some people “wear their heart on their sleeve”, and all of their emotions are expressed in an obvious, readable way.

Certain emotions are physically expressed so as not to be missed.  Screaming in anger or frustration, yelling at someone, crying, laughing, smiling, and similar such expressions convey emotion to anyone in range.

Some people do not share so easily.  Maybe it’s because they have been hurt, maybe because they prefer to keep their feelings to themselves…it really doesn’t matter.  They prefer to not show their emotional state, and that is something to be respected.

As an empath, I can still usually read someone’s emotions, even when they are not in any way obvious.  But reading emotions has limitations, and may not be appreciated.

Reading people’s emotions is no substitute for communication.

Communication is often taken for granted.  In particular with the people we get closest to.  We have our familiars, those whom we frequently share with and know and understand.  One of the intimate aspects of this is subtle, passive, frequently non-verbal tells.

It can become very easy to “know someone’s mind”, and to expect certain behaviors, actions, attitudes and emotions from them.  This is a particular matter with the people we are closest to.  We get comfortable with one another, and we get into a pattern and a flow and familiarity.

People change.  Pure and simple, everyone and everything changes.  Most change is slow, subtle, practically invisible.  But the nature of the universe is change.  Yet we are frequently resistant to change because it is the unknown, it can be scary, unfamiliar, and possibly uncomfortable.

Somewhere along the way much of our society began to view change as something bad.  We even have romanticized the notion of freezing time, holding everything in place so that perfection can be achieved.  Of course, perfection, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder, and change is going to happen because that is how nature functions.

The caterpillar becomes a butterfly.  The dinosaurs became petroleum.  Children become adults.  The sun rises and sets.  All of this is incontrovertible, it is how the universe functions.  Without change, we could not grow, we would not learn, we would not be able to be more than we are.

No two people change in the same way.  We talk about growing together and growing apart; yet we never do these things in the same way.  Even twins learn and think differently, no matter how connected or telepathically linked-up they might be.

Direct Communication Is Important.

No matter how emotionally connected we become with people, it is still vitally important that we communicate with one another.  So many of the problems we encounter in this society, not to mention among our interpersonal relations, are due to a lack of communication.

As I am choosing the paths I wish to walk, I know that nobody else can see inside my head.  What I am thinking, the notions I am working on, the plans I am making are mine and mine alone.  I strive to grow, to change, to learn all the time, and I am working to embrace change.

Pathwalking is not just about embracing change.  It is about accepting and working on controlling change.  Rather than letting things just happen, you are working on making them happen.  You are seeking to consciously create reality, so that you can have the best, most amazing life possible.

This is going to change you.  Directed change, but change none-the-less.  As such, those who love you and whom you love might not understand this.  They might be confused, they might get upset with you, they might resist because you are changing, and they can feel it.

This is why communication is so, so important.  We need to share with our loved ones what we are doing, why we are doing it, and where our thought process is going.  Yes, we might meet well-intentioned resistance in the process, but that does not lessen the need for open, honest communication.

Conscious communications.

Even when we are not talking about Pathwalking, we need to be more conscious of what we share with those we care about.  Being aware does not just apply to ourselves, in particular when we have people we share this life with in whatever form that takes.  This is why communicating what we are doing and how we are changing with one another empowers everyone.

When we work to be better communicators, we become better at sharing who we are, as well as who we want to be.  Knowing those we care for as best we can will bring us closer, and that is always a good thing.

How do you communicate with those you care about?

 

This is the two-hundred ninety-second entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Please take a moment to subscribe to this blog!  Even if you have done so before, there is new material, and a gift with your subscription.

How does the use of I AM matter in Crossing the Bridges?

There are actions I can take, right now, to change my life.

The challenge with this is in mindfulness.  While the action I am looking to take is relatively simple, it requires a great deal of mindfulness.

I have written before about the power of the words I AM.  These two little words will ultimately define me, in the here and now, in absolute and specific ways.  I AM is far more powerful than the retrospective I WAS or the future-tensed I WILL BE, because it is a totally definitive declaration.

How I AM is followed is a clear-cut statement.  It will also determine perspective, expectation, and even intent.  What’s more, I AM is a true presentation of belief.

Because consciousness creates reality, what we think about and believe is made manifest.  I AM is so powerful, that it will create more of the representation it is stating.  It is a statement in present tense, which is the most powerful place for manifesting conscious creation.

Yet I know I tend to just toss around I AM statements without much thought.  I think most people do, because we really do not recognize how powerful that statement is.  It’s not about someone else, it is about ME, and as such it is intentional and focused.

How do we consciously create reality?  Thought, focused into feeling, and from feeling taking intentional action.  I AM is an intentional action statement, and is capable of creating all sorts of things, both desirable and undesirable.

Be Aware of what you think and say.

It’s all-too-easy to neglect the power of I AM, and to make statements that might seem innocuous, but in truth are powerful conscious creators.  For example, saying I am tired, I am overwhelmed, I am unhappy, I am depressed, I am fat, I am useless, I am a screw-up will make me precisely that.  I will be tired, overwhelmed, fat and depressed if I continue to abuse the power of I AM in this way.

I know that many of these are true statements.  I may be feeling tired and unhappy, and it may be a fact to state that I am overweight or suffering from depression – but making the statement of I AM reinforces these matters, and empowers them even further.

I am not advocating lying, or denying negative thoughts and feelings.  Lies cannot build much of a foundation, are impossible to sustain, and frequently become harmful, especially to ourselves.  We are going to feel negative emotions, because we’re only human, and if we didn’t know the bad we’d be incapable of knowing the good we most desire.

What I am advocating here is taking just a little more time and consideration in the use of I AM.  Knowing the manifestation power of these two tiny words, it’s hugely important to use them only with care and consideration.

Use I AM to build up, not to tear down.

Despite the truth that may be brought forth in using I AM, exercising thought and restraint in its use can totally change the world I am creating for myself.  Whenever I follow I AM with a negative statement, true or not, I am basically telling the universe this is who and what I believe that I am, so please give me more.

The action I can take, right now, to change my life, is to consider what I am thinking or saying whenever the words I AM are employed.  If I am feeling something negative, rather than express it with an I AM statement, I need to take a more impersonal viewpoint.  I need to step back from it.  For example, let’s say I am feeling tired.  Rather than say or think I am tired, I need to consider either giving that no acknowledgement at all, or an impersonal one, such as I think I could use more sleep or I feel the need for more rest or even I feel tired.  Yes, this last might be splitting hairs, but in not stating I AM, I am not taking ownership and telling the universe this is how I am and want to continue to be.

I AM is a statement of empowerment.

The universe doesn’t recognize the concept of don’t want, it only recognizes want.  Stating I AM TIRED tells the universe this is what I am and what I want.  I am owning the feeling or attribute as me, and in so doing empowering it, and telling the universe I want more of it.  This is why it is important to be aware of the statement that follows I AM, so that I can be more of what I truly want to be.  For example, I AM AWESOME.

That is the immediate, life changing action I am taking.  Every time I think or say I AM, I will take extra time to consider if the statement I am making is one I want, or one I don’t want.  Being aware is going to be a challenge, but one I think could make a massive difference in consciously creating the life I desire.

I am capable of doing this.  I am able to manifest the destiny I want.  I am grateful. Let’s do this.  As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me!

 

GOAL LOG – Week 23:

Diet:  I am still working on maintaining a reasonable diet.

Exercise:  Couple single lap walks around the small lake, a day at the gym, a night of fencing.

Writing:  The three blog posts were done, worked on my modern alchemist story one day.

Meditation:  Five days last week, never less than 9 minutes.

Gratitude:  I expressed gratitude for 5 things six days last week.

 

This is the thirty-seventh entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

How do you recognize if you’re walking the right Path?

How do I know if I am on the right path?

This is probably the most basic, yet most challenging question to ask.  The answer is both amazingly simple, and yet fairly complicated.

Pathwalking is making choices about living life, in order to work to consciously create our personal reality as we want it to be.  Rather than simply going along with life and letting whatever happens, happen; as we walk our chosen paths we strive to be present and aware.  We don’t want to let life just occur, we are working on living life to its fullest.

There is always more than one path.  That’s how the universe works.  If consciousness creates reality, as this blog asserts, then we can choose virtually any path we might desire.  As such, there is more than one “right” path for us.

It’s important to recognize that the idea of “right” is fairly loaded.  Right is often the extreme opposite of wrong, but in this context right is a matter of feeling, desire, and drive.  Further, today’s right choice could be wrong for us tomorrow.

I recognize that that’s pretty vague.  This is because the specifics of what is right for me are not going to necessarily be right for you, or for anyone else for that matter.  “Right” in this particular context is a matter of feeling, belief and faith.

How do I recognize the right path?

The short answer is that the right path will feel good.  It will almost seem like its too easy, and the work you do along the right path feels less like work, and more like play.  It’s surprisingly easy to lose track of time when you are on the right path, because you get so caught up in it you just take action because it’s what you need to do.

For example, when I am writing, and really getting into my work, whether it’s my blog or my fiction or even writing for business, I often just flow with it. Time loses meaning, and I come away from a project feeling complete, content, and like I wasn’t working at all, just doing what feels good to me.

I desire to be writing more frequently.  I am driven to write, and that is how I am certain that this is the path that is right for me.

It feels good.  It feels like it is what I am supposed to do.  That is how I know my path is the right path.  But to really be travelling upon that path, it’s important to believe and have faith.

What’s the difference between belief and faith?

In many respects these are similar concepts, but not in this context.  How does this work, then?  Belief is important to Pathwalking, because if you don’t believe that consciousness can create reality, and that you can choose your own destiny, your own path in life, then you are going to be incapable of living this way.

I believe that I can create the life I desire.  I have made this work before, more than once.  And that is where faith comes into play.

I believe in this…but I don’t necessarily have faith.  I believe, in the abstract, but my faith in my own belief is open to scrutiny, questioned by my own skepticism.  But more than that, what this boils down to is my faith in myself.  I believe that consciousness creates reality, but I have no faith in myself to consciously create it.

If I am responsible for consciously creating my reality, then I need to have faith in myself.  I am the only one who can make MY life what I want it to be.  But if I lack faith in myself, what can I do?

How do you create faith in yourself?

When you believe in yourself, you believe you are capable of almost anything.  We nearly all feel this way as children, but as we get older and we are exposed to certain “realities”, this fades.  We can regain our ability to believe in abstracts, but after that we have to have faith – faith in ourselves.

Skepticism, cynicism, self-doubt, self-recrimination, second-guessing and self-deprecation are all born of a lack of faith.  Despite what you might believe about conscious reality creation, you don’t have sufficient faith in yourself to achieve it.  This is evident if your self-talk is frequently negative, such as I am no good; I am unimportant; I am fat; I am lazy; I fail more often than I succeed; if I don’t joke about myself everyone else will; and so on.  When you speak ill of yourself, it shows a lack of faith in who you are capable of being.

You may not be who you want to be right now.  That’s ok.  One of the reasons to choose Pathwalking is to become the person you most want to be, even if that is not who you are now.  To do that you have to think about it, feel it out, take inspired, intentional actions – and believe in the possibility; have faith in your ability to succeed.  When it feels like you can conquer the world, and you believe in conscious reality creation and have faith in yourself, you will know that are on the right path for you.

Do you have faith in yourself and your ability to choose your own destiny?

 

This is the two-hundred eighty-fourth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

Can I Cross These Bridges? Dreaming vs Doing

I am afraid to do the thing I should do.

Afraid is not actually the correct feeling, however.  At least, not in the face of logic.  Maybe, the more correct thing here is I am concerned about the consequences that would come of my doing the thing I know I should do.

What is the elephant in the room?  My job.

I have a decent, reasonable paying, low-pressure job. The hours are okay.  The commute is generally not problematic.  This job covers our health insurance.

I am bored out of my mind.  Half of the job I was originally hired to do has been given to someone else, and I have almost no work to do in the remaining half.  I have done all the makework I can for it, and I tolerate the majority of my coworkers, but several of them hold majorly opposing political views, and I find them often insufferable.  More than once I have walked away from my desk to avoid getting into a discussion with people who cannot be reasoned with.

Now comes the guilt.  I am employed.  I am making a decent salary.  I want to be grateful for having this job…but I am feeling like my time is being wasted.  And I feel like an asshole because I am so discontent, rather than grateful.

I have been here before.  Frankly, I get here pretty frequently with jobs.  I reach the point where I am feeling no love for what I am doing or where I am doing it, and I will either walk away or lose the job because it gets emotionally overwhelming.

I know lots of people in low-paying jobs.  I know several people without jobs.  I know several people who have truly hateful jobs.  I know people who work for truly awful people.  My situation is not so bad…so how come I want to get out of it as badly as I do?

This is not me.  This is not where I want to be for eight-and-a-half hours of my day, five days a week.

Facing a crisis of conscience.

I know what I should do, but I can’t.  I have bills to pay, responsibilities to uphold, and I know in almost every logical way this would be a mistake to act on that impulse.

Does this make my a hypocrite?  I think it does.  I have been preaching Pathwalking, choosing my own destiny, for five-and-a-half years.  But if I was walking my own path, I would not be in this position, I would not be in this place where I have to choose between the right thing and the right thing.

How’s that?  Well, the right thing for me to do is get out of the situation.  I should leave the job that makes me miserable and take the actions I believe can and will make me money.  Yet, at the same time, I know I should keep the job and the good pay and benefits, and trudge through so I can stay in the black and pay the bills and contribute to my household.

This is and has been my greatest issue.  I simply do not believe sufficiently in my own power.  I talk a good talk, I write all about it…but I simply do not believe it.  Not completely.  I have tried and failed enough times in this life that I am choosing the familiar, the known, the soft and flabby reality I am living in.

There are many questions.

Is this really who I am?  Am I really going to just allow myself to live a life I find dull, lackluster, and half-assed?  Where is my gumption, where is my drive?  I have studied so much and read so many things…how come I still cannot trust my instinct?  Why am I still so skeptical?

I am the only one who can choose my life.  Whatever choices I make will have consequences and repercussions.  In the end, the only person who’s feelings matter in all of this is me.  I am the only one who can feel what I feel, and how I feel.  I am the only one who thinks as I do.  This is wholly and entirely on me.

This is the ultimate challenge of my own belief system.  Do I accept the notion that consciousness creates reality, for real?  Am I able to really, truly embrace this, and work with it to build a life I desire to live far more than this one?

Choices and decisions.

This is the biggest test of faith I have ever faced in my life.  This is where I choose if I want to live a life as is expected of me, or if I will live the life I really want to live.  Do I believe in my own abilities, my own strengths and skills to do this?  Can I walk the walk to match up to the talk?

This is huge.  I have a big question before me, and there is nobody who can answer it, save me.   Do I believe my own hypothesis…or am I just another dreamer who cannot become a doer?  There are no easy answers.  Let’s see what I do with this from here.

 

GOAL LOG – Week 22:

Diet:  I am maintaining a reasonable diet.

Exercise:  I spent Saturday walking all over the place, Sunday doing the same and shooting archery.  I fenced Tuesday, hit the gym Wednesday.

Writing:  The three blog posts were done, worked on my modern alchemist story one day.

Meditation:  Four days last week, though only 3 minutes on one of those day and less than 10 minutes otherwise.

Gratitude:  I expressed gratitude for 5 things four days last week.

 

This is the thirty-sixth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

What are challenges vs struggles with Pathwalking?

Pathwalking can be fraught with many challenges.

I long ago came to believe that nothing worth having is ever easy.  But there is a difference between challenge and struggle.  Challenge involves growth and proactive change, while struggle is stagnation and reactive change.  Challenge is deciding to change, while struggle is forced.

Many of the challenges in Pathwalking are due to outside influences, some which we can control and some which we cannot.  Recognizing this is the first step towards working with it, and keeping challenges from becoming struggles.

Further, when you recognize that you are struggling, it is possible to transmute your struggle into a challenge.  This is where taking control of the matters which you can control comes into play.

What is outside of your control?  Other people, situations that are not of your making, world news and such.  Let’s face it…we live in tumultuous times.  There is a tremendous amount of upheaval and reactionary measures happening because people are either making poor choices or no choices due to fear of change.  We can protest, we can vote more wisely, we can choose where and how to spend our money, but we cannot change these people, their actions or how they think, no matter how badly we want to do that.

What is inside of your control?  Everything that is yours in your life.  Your thoughts, feelings and actions, your situations, your mental state, how you use your time and so on.  You are the only person who can think for you, feel for you, act for you.  Nobody else can make you think, feel or do anything you do not allow yourself to think, feel and do.

We frequently give this away without realizing that we are doing that.  They influenced my thinking and she made me feel that way and I only did that thing because you made me do it.  Easy enough to give that power away, but that is a choice, a decision.  The power is yours, but you get to choose if you will take hold of it, or not.

Looking out for yourself is not selfish.

We live in a society obsessed with polar opposites.  Black and white, rich and poor, conservative and liberal, gay and straight, fat and thin, etc.  We are inundated with choices of either/or, when the truth is most people in every way fall somewhere between extremes.

One of these is the notion that if you are not selfless, you are selfish.  As such, we often find ourselves believing that self-care is selfish, so we neglect it to care for others.  Then we wonder why we are struggling, when we have accepted this notion and let ourselves take a second-rate place in our own lives.

When we do not hold onto things for ourselves, and we do not care for ourselves, we actually take away our ability to give to others.  We have to be full in order to have enough to share, and because this is an abundant universe that is not a selfish notion.  We are all unique individuals, and we all have different needs and wants, but no matter what those may be, we all need to care for ourselves.  Putting yourself first is perfectly fine, so long as you don’t ignore that there is a world apart from yourself.  You are the center of your own world, but you are also a part of rather than apart from the rest of the world. That’s an important distinction to remain clear on.

Choose challenge.  Choose change.

Change is inevitable.  It will happen, because that is part of life and growth.  Even when you are standing perfectly still, the air around you is changed by your body heat and your breath.  That is the nature of all things.  So rather than struggle from resisting change, accept the challenges that may come from change.

The challenges of Pathwalking will be different for everyone.  Things I find simple and easy you may find unbelievably difficult, and vice versa.  I am a thinker, and while I am empathic, I have often struggled to understand people who are true feelers.  However, while I can be logical about my feelings, actually understanding the meanings of my feelings can be difficult for me.  Then there are people who are doers – they take actions with seemingly little thought or feeling going into them, sometimes with extreme wisdom and sometimes less so.

Many of the challenges thinkers, feelers or doers will experience may be similar, but they may also vary rather widely.  The thing is to make the choices and decide to work on challenges we face, rather than to let choices and decisions out of our control, and work on struggles that drain us and disempower us.

Pathwalking is empowering.

Despite challenges and occasional struggles, Pathwalking, ultimately, is empowering.  Choosing your own path means that you are working on deciding how you want life to be.  When we decide this for ourselves, we open ourselves to discovering our happiness, and that, I believe, is the thing we most want to know.

When you are struggling, it is always possible to face it head-on and turn it into a challenge.  It may not be easy, but I believe empowering the self is always worthwhile.  Choosing my own destiny and deciding how I want to be I believe is key to living the best life I possibly can.

What challenges do you work with regularly, and how do you approach them?

 

This is the two-hundred eighty-third entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

What it means to Cross the Bridges – Different Aspects of My Writing

I love writing.

I have been writing since I was 9 years old.  Wildfire was sci-fi, 50 hand-written pages long and illustrated by yours truly.  The basic premise: the grown-ups of the world allowed this mad scientist to create robots, who took over everything for everyone.  The adults got fat and lazy, the kids got distraught over this so they rebelled, stole a bunch of military hardware, created a base in the walls of the Grand Canyon, and in time wiped out all the robots and all the adults and were left to their own devices to rebuild the world.

Very few people have seen this, because I wonder what a child psychologist would have had to say about a nine-year-old killing off all the adults?  Also, the illustrations are just awful – my profile views have no noses.  Really.  Oh, and the heads of the robots were modelled off of Commodore PET computers.

From there I wrote a few other stories, like my first typed sci-fi story, The Secret Computer World.  Inspired by Tron, much?  I think so.

From there I wrote a few more things along the way.  But in college I mostly stopped writing.  I have a few scattered bits and pieces, but nothing whole for about 6 years.

Then, in 1998, I began what would evolve into The Source Chronicles.  Since then, I have churned out the first three novels in that series (I am currently working on editing book 3, Harbinger), two Steampunk novels in the Vapor Rogues series, and am currently working on the 4th book in The Source Chronicles, Guardians, and an un-named space opera.

I began this blog back in 2010, but didn’t begin to give it direction until my New Years’ Action for 2012, and the start of Pathwalking.  Since then, it has evolved over the past five-and-a-half years into a more intentional, more focused blog.

Writing in a Different Direction

Back in 2005, I discovered National Novel Writer’s Mo nth (NaNoWriMo), and fell in love with the idea of creating a 50,000 word novelette in 30 days.  My first year’s attempt crashed before I reached half-way, but in 2006 I was encouraged to tell a different story than my norm.

The reason this blog is called The Ramblings of the Titanium Don is due to the car accident I was in on November 30th, 1999.  I was a pedestrian, and I was struck by a car while crossing a relatively busy street.  Part of the damage to my body from that accident was a shattered clavicle, which was repaired using three titanium plates.  As such, I am now made partially of titanium.  Also, in the SCA, I am a Don.  Hence – The Titanium Don.

The story of that accident, as well as my recovery and the next couple of years, is full of unbelievable but completely true happenings.  In hindsight, a great deal of it is actually rather funny.  During a conversation in the parking lot after a fencing practice, I was encouraged to tell this story with my own brand of humor, and use that to participate in NaNoWriMo.

Writing from a Different Perspective

Unlike the vast majority of my non-blog writing, I wrote the novelette in first person.  At the end of November 2006, The Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins With a Trip to the Post Office was completed.

I have been loathe to share this tale for a number of reasons.  First – due to many acts on my part in that time, I look like a total ass.  Second – there is some embarrassment around many of the things that occurred then.  Third – despite changing the names of everyone involved, I still worry about offending certain people.  Fourth – this is probably the most personal thing I have ever written, even with the changes to names and certain places within.

Yet those who have read this story have told me it should be shared.  Many have told me it’s one of the best things I have ever written.  As part of my desire to become a best-selling author, even though this is a bridge apart from everything else I write – I am preparing The Journey of a Thousand Miles… for publication.

Talk the Talk, Write the Words, Cross the Bridges

Writing is my passion.  I have said before that I don’t care if I am working on this blog; working on sci-fi and fantasy or Steampunk; writing press-releases or proposals or copy for businesses; I want to be writing because that’s my love.  I lay myself pretty bare in this particular tale, but one of the new directions in my life I am working with is letting go of my fear of success, or failure, and ultimate fear of abandonment from either – and embrace making some much-desired changes.

This is not just writing about crossing bridges, this is stepping up to the span and beginning across.  This is actually, factually taking an intentional action to move forward as I most desire.  It is, without a doubt, both scary and exciting.

Keep watching this space as I take the next steps.  As always, thank you for crossing the bridges with me!

 

GOAL LOG – Week 21:

Diet:  I am doing well with the lower carb, lower sugar diet overall.

Exercise:  I fenced Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday, hit the gym Monday and Wednesday.  Walked a lap around the small lake near work Tuesday.

Writing:  The three blog posts were done, worked on editing Journey of a Thousand Miles on five days.

Meditation:  Every day over the last week, never less than 8 minutes a day (generally 10 minutes or more).

Gratitude:  I expressed gratitude for 5 things every day last week.

 

This is the thirty-fifth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series.  My collectively published writing can be found here.

Why Walk Your Own Path? You Control More Than You Think

You are in control of more than you believe yourself to be.

This can be a particularly difficult concept to believe, but that doesn’t lessen the truth of it.  You are in control over how you think, how you feel, and how you act.

I know that sometimes it feels like that control is really, really limited.  Truth is, however, that the only limitations are those that you yourself place.  Otherwise, you have far more power and capability to change your life as you would most desire than you probably believe.

I created Pathwalking with the intent of taking control over my life, and creating the destiny I believe I am meant for.  I have long known that the standard courses in life were not for me, and overall I have not taken those particular paths.

One career since college?  Nope, not at all.  I have held numerous jobs, but not followed a single career path until fairly recently.  Marriage in my late twenties or early thirties and raise kids?  Nope, didn’t get married until my early forties, and we’re not going to produce children.  Buy a house, use it to build equity and maintain stability?  While I have been a homeowner, the current plan is to not buy again anytime soon, and rent for the purpose of mobility.

Why am I pointing these out?  Because it is way too easy to let society dictate control over our lives.  We live in a society that discourages us from striking out on our own path, rather than choosing something not-the-normal.  Rather than empower the individual, our society prefers to keep us underfoot, at the whim of our bosses, our religious and political leaders, our supposed superiors.

You are In Charge of You

Nobody is superior to anybody else.  It does not matter if they have more education, more money, more experience or are older than you or more specialized, the only person you answer to, when all is said and done, is you.  The only power anyone else enjoys over you is in place because you have given it away.

That is a particularly hard pill to swallow.  We are so indoctrinated into this idea that other people can control us, that other people can be responsible for our emotions and actions, that we cannot believe this is only true because we allow it to be.  Other people are only able to affect us as much or as little as we allow them to.

For example, let’s say you were in a relationship, but then your partner unceremoniously dumped you.  Yes, you feel hurt, probably betrayed, and upset…but chances are you blame them for hurting you.  They caused you to be hurt, they treated you poorly, and in all likelihood your feelings and opinion of your former partner will only spiral downwards from there.

Yes, it was the action on the part of your former partner that caused those bad feelings.  Yes, it is perfectly normal and totally human to feel hurt, betrayed and upset.  But, you are the one feeling these feelings. As such, you get to choose how long you will hold onto them, and how far along the downward spiral you care to travel.

You are the only one who can feel how you feel.  While there are uncountable outside influences that can and will effect how you feel, you are the only one who actually feels what you feel.  As such, the person who has caused you to hurt only hurts you for as long as you allow them to have that power over you.

Taking another step from here, you and only you are responsible for your actions.  Nobody can make you do anything you do not choose to do.  Yet because our society is so keyed into not being accountable for anything, it is easy to place the blame for bad actions we have taken -outside of ourselves.

Take Back Your Power

When you understand that you are the one in control of your own thoughts, feelings and actions, you get to choose how much of that control to exert.  You will feel upset for as long as you hold onto it, and you will not take an action that is not of your own accord, unless you choose to and blame it on another.  You are the one who gets to decide.  You get to choose.

You will notice over the coming weeks changes to this blog.  I am studying new ideas to improve what I share here, and that means things will be changing.  Since change is inevitable, happens whether we want it or not, I am exerted control over change, and choosing to alter this how I desire the change to be.

Last week I explained how intention is the reality of control.  Intention is composed of thought and feeling and action, and you are the only person who can control all of your thoughts, your feelings and your actions.  Nobody else can choose for you, nobody else can be in control, unless you allow them to be.  You can keep the power over your thoughts, feelings and actions, or you can give it away in part or total.  That is your decision.

Consciousness creates reality.  Recognizing our own control over the vast majority of our lives, we can be empowered to make almost anything we can imagine of them.  We are free thinkers; we are the only ones who feel the things we feel, however we feel them; we are the only ones who can act on our own thoughts and feelings.

You are in control of more than you believe yourself to be.  When you recognize this, embrace it and see just how endless the possibilities are before you.

What feels out of your control that you can take back for yourself?

 

This is the two-hundred eighty-second entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.

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