You’re Only Competing With Yourself
You can always win this competition.
Everywhere you look, there’s competition. Every election, sport, game, and contest focuses on competing. Win the election, finish first, make the most impressive meal, and outperform the others so you can be the best, most recognized, ultimate winner.
There are plenty of contests out there where it’s all about competing. Yet, aside from such intentional competitions, you’re not in competition with anyone else for anything.
Let me repeat that for those in the cheap seats. YOU ARE NOT IN COMPETITION WITH ANYONE ELSE FOR ANYTHING. Unless you participate in a contest – a race, a fencing bout, any professional sport, a spelling bee, and the like – you’re not competing.
Even in academia, where you have a top of the class, it’s not truly competing with others to have the highest scores and best grades. Some people are better test takers than others. However, elements of academic pursuits do reveal where you can find one true competition. Really, the only true competition that’s not part of a contest, sport, and so on.
Competing with yourself.
You’re no better or worse than anyone else
The next time you’re not alone, like in a store, on a bus, walking down a street, in an office or classroom, or anywhere similar and mostly public, look around you. Notice the other people. Note how they’re the same as you. Observe how they’re different from you. Most importantly, become aware of these people.
That done, ask yourself these three questions.
- Am I better than them? (Spoiler alert – no)
- Are they better than me? (Answer – no)
- Am I competing with any of these people? (Again, no)
When you’re out and about in the world, and you encounter other people, randomly or otherwise, guess what? You’re not competing with them. What’s more, you’re not better than they are nor are they better than you are.
Sure, you might be in better physical, mental, emotional, and/or spiritual health, wellness, and/or wellbeing. You might have a better-paying job, more fulfilling relationships, a stronger sense of morality, and all sorts of other tangible and intangible differences. So do they. Nobody is better than anyone else, despite claims otherwise.
You’re no better or worse than anyone else out there. Despite claims to the contrary, any perception of being better is based in artifices. Wealth, appearance, haves versus have-nots, any and all other ways of comparison between you, me, him, her, them, and everyone are made-up bullshit. They’re false ideas intent on causing division, false competition, and to keep the world unbalanced.
Along this line, you’re not competing with anyone else.
You’re only competing with yourself
Let’s go back to academia. The truth of placement in any given class has nothing to do with competing for grades between people (not in general). The only person you’re competing with when it comes to grades is yourself.
To be fair, there are plenty of examples between students of different backgrounds, better and worse schools and education systems, environments, and so on. Realistically, however, the difference between an ‘A’ student and a ‘B’ student is not in how they’re competing with one another, but with themselves.
When I was a student in high school and college, effort determined my grades. Minimal effort for me was regular attendance, enough study to pass tests, and unless the topic was of immense interest to me, giving enough effort to be well above ‘C’ level work.
I passed high school with a solid, mid-range ‘B’. However, I could have been an ‘A’ student. However, the drive to compete with myself and score higher was not sufficiently present. Had I applied myself more, given more time and effort to my studies, and cut back on having a social life and other extracurricular activities like choir and theatre, I could have had an ‘A’ average.
This had nothing to do with anyone else. It wasn’t a result of competition between me and other students. I was only competing with myself. For most people in school, that’s the reality you face.
The funny thing is, once you leave academia and move into jobs and “real life” situations, lots of forces tell you both blatantly and subtly about all the competition you’re in now. Except, the truth is, you’re still only competing with yourself.
The lies of lack, scarcity, and insufficiency
Did you have a parent or other relative who told you that “money doesn’t grow on trees?” Have you seen various messages about how there are not enough jobs, workers, homes, resources, and so and so forth in this place or that? Have you been told that “they” are going to take your money, your job, your way of life, and worse?
All of these messages are tied to lack, scarcity, and insufficiency. Here’s the most shocking truth of this. All of these messages are bullshit.
The vast majority of what you’re told is in limited supply, is lacking, insufficient, or is otherwise scarce, isn’t. That’s because most of these notions are completely artificial and made to empower some while disempowering others, provide a false sense of power and security to a select few, and sell you and me shit we might or might not need.
Often, these lacking, scarce, and insufficient things get tied to competition. Worse, competition between abstract ideas of people that are just as much bullshit as the lack and such.
Black people aren’t out to wipe out white people and their way of life. There’s no “gay agenda” to end heterosexuality, marriage, or anything else. Having a penis doesn’t make you better, stronger, wiser, or more worthy than someone who has a vagina. All of us – I repeat, ALL OF US simply desire to live lives in peace, with respect, love, empathy, kindness, and compassion.
Maybe some tangible things are in shorter supply. But they can all be replaced by something else with no true detriment to anyone. The intangibles – including peace, respect, love, empathy, kindness, and compassion – are in more abundance than you can imagine.
The only person to be better than is yourself
Human beings grow, evolve, and change throughout their lifetime. Who I was at age 20 isn’t who I was at age 40. Neither of them is who I am now in my early 50s.
In many ways, over time, I’ve taken steps and done things to be better than I used to be. For example, I’ve been working with mindfulness, positivity, and conscious reality creation to be more whole, complete, content, and to be in control of my life experience. This has included nothing to get better than anyone around me. I have, however, needed to be better than myself.
It’s not really competing to improve who you are, how you treat others, and what you do or don’t do. Maybe for some people, they want to compete with their prior self to make themselves even better. That’s not competing with anyone else but yourself.
What that looks like for you isn’t what it might look like for me. You and I come from different families, backgrounds, environments, experiences, and on and on. Similarities may exist, but you and I aren’t the same. That’s another reason why you’re not competing with me nor I with you.
When all is said and done, this is an amazing, positive thing. Why? Because it means you’re not competing for resources, tangibles, intangibles, or any of the things you truly need to live. You’re only competing with yourself, to be more genuine as you and whatever that looks like for you. You are worthy and deserving of this. That’s part of life, and what it means to live it.
You can always win this competition, often just by showing up.
Recognizing that you’re only competing with yourself isn’t hard
It’s all about practicing mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, intentions, and approach to direct your actions.
When you recognize and acknowledge that – unless it’s a contest, playing a sport, or the like – you’re not competing with anyone but yourself, you can focus on the intangibles that truly matter. Knowing that you’re not competing with others, you can put the effort towards yourself and your life, and apply more kindness, compassion, empathy, and the like – within and without – to better most anything, without competing against anyone else.
This empowers you, and your empowerment can empower others around you.
Consciously choosing your approach to life towards positivity or negativity – from the vast cylinder that exists between them – shifts life in a way that opens more dialogue. With a broader dialogue, you can explore and share where you are between the extremes and how that impacts you here and now.
Choosing thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions for yourself employs an approach and attitude of positivity for realizing amazing potential and possibilities for your life.
The better aware you are of yourself in the now, the more you can do to choose and decide how your life experiences will be. When that empowers you, it can spread to those around you to their empowerment.
Thank you for coming along on this journey.
This is the five-hundred and thirty-fifth (535) entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.
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