You Choose Your People
You get to choose who you give pieces of your head, heart, and soul to.
There isn’t a damned thing you can do about “them.”
Them? Those people. The ones making all the surreal, ludicrous choices. Those people who deny science, believe lies, and accept things as true that aren’t. You can’t do anything about them.
This is deeply disheartening. On the one hand, you probably want to believe that people are inherently good. I know that I do. But, on the other hand, you keep being shown proof that people are selfish, willfully ignorant, and easily misled.
There’s a great line in the movie Men in Black that magnificently accounts for this.
“A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it.”
The collective consciousness of the world is fear-based. This is why people become dumb, panicky, dangerous animals the moment shit goes down or things go off the rails.
When you are fed a constant diet of fear, scarcity, insufficiency, and other false narratives about what the status quo must be, you can start to see why people fall for shysters, tricksters, and the like.
Spending your time and energy trying to reach them, to get through to them, to change their hearts and minds does nothing but deplete you and your energy. There’s not a damned thing you can do about them.
You can, however, choose your people.
Who are your people?
There are four classes of people in everyone’s lives. They are, from the furthest out to the nearest, as follows:
Celebrities, politicians, them. There are the people constantly in the news, who we see more often than not from very, very far away. They’re known, they exist, but you likely have never met or will ever meet them. Ultimately, the nameless, faceless them.
Authorities, heads of big companies you work for, bureaucrats, them. If you work for Amazon or Merck or the like, this is management. Cops, firefighters, soldiers. Anyone working at the DMV or like agency. You might meet them in passing but they are still abstract, largely a nameless, faceless them.
Teachers, religious leaders, coworkers, distant relatives. Chances are that you interact with these people. You might even consider some mentors or friends. But they are still “them” because you likely didn’t choose them (school, church, work environment, and so on). Despite regular contact and interaction, they are not your people because you didn’t fully choose them. So, them, as such.
Parents, siblings, friends, chosen family. You don’t just interact with these people abstractly. They hold pieces of your heart and soul. You know them and think of them as part of a greater “us”. You can talk to them about a wide range of personal and interpersonal matters. You choose these people to connect with, making them “us” in your head, heart, and soul.
Important caveat – Parents and siblings sometimes become “them” if you stop having common ground. Society tells you this is not acceptable, but giving pieces of your head, heart, and soul away is a choice, and you can choose not to give to those who hurt you if they cause you pain.
You choose your people
The truth is that you get to choose who you give your heart to. This isn’t about romantic love it’s about connection. Affection. Kindness, compassion, caring, and empathy for one another.
This is why – despite some arguments to the contrary – parents and siblings sometimes cease to be your people. When they cannot return kindness, compassion, caring, or empathy, you have every right to move on. Why give your time and energy to someone who either doesn’t give a shit about you or who causes you only pain – whether emotional, mental, spiritual, physical, or any combo of these.
When all is said and done you get to choose your people. When you mindfully choose you open yourself to better, more balanced mental health. Why? Because you decide who to give your head, heart, and soul to versus who not to waste your energy on.
When you do this some will call it selfish. And I get that. I want to change the world for the better and convince “them” to stop falling for the bullshit, to stop harming those who are different, to care more, etc. But, since I can’t, choosing my people is a better use of my energy.
The thing is, it takes small steps to build big. If you create a core of people who care, and are empathetic, kind, and compassionate, chances are that’s not just among yourselves. Together, you radiate it out beyond you. Together, you and your people create examples others can see and emulate. That empowers you, and empowerment begets empowerment.
When you mindfully choose your people, you’re consciously and actively caring for your health, wellness, and wellbeing. This isn’t a trial or a challenge, frankly, it’s a privilege. Please use this to your advantage and choose mindfully.
Recognizing that you can choose your people for your greater good isn’t hard
It’s all about practicing mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, intentions, and approach to direct your actions.
When you recognize and acknowledge that there are 4 kinds of people in the world as you know it, and only one is those you can choose to be with, you can take the time and make an effort to choose your people over choosing to give time and energy to “them”. Knowing that you can do nothing about “them” but can make choices and decisions to be with people who share pieces of your head, heart, and soul, you can mindfully act on this to better your life here and now.
This empowers you, and your empowerment can empower others around you.
Consciously choosing your approach to life towards positivity or negativity – from the vast cylinder that exists between them – shifts life in a way that opens greater dialogue. With a broader dialogue, you can recognize, explore, and share where you are between the extremes and how that impacts you here and now.
Choosing thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions for yourself employs an approach and attitude of positivity for realizing amazing potential and possibilities for your life.
The better aware you are of yourself here and now, the better you can choose and decide what, how, and why your life experiences will be. When you empower yourself, it can spread to those around you for their empowerment.
Thank you for coming along on this journey.
This is the five-hundred-and-sixty-sixth (566) entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.
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