Why You Don’t Need to Love Yourself but DO Need to Like Yourself
It’s because you are always with yourself, all the time. But that’s just the start.
Nobody is ever, truly, alone.
Why? Because no matter where you go, there you are. Or in other words – you always have yourself.
Here’s the thing – your entire life, you have yourself. That means that you have all that you are, good, bad, and otherwise, always with you.
For many people, that’s disconcerting. You have yourself – but isn’t that a lonely proposition? If you only have yourself, what does that mean?
You don’t only have yourself. You always have yourself. Yes, you will change along the way, and who you were before is not who you are now nor who you will be. But no matter how much time passes or what happens along the way – you’ll always have you.
That’s why you should learn to like yourself.
Why? Simple – how do you feel about spending time with people you dislike? I would rather not. Do you prefer to be with people you like? I do.
Since you are with yourself all the time – you need to like yourself. When you like you, it makes being with yourself – which you always are – pleasurable rather than a chore or otherwise less than pleasant.
No matter what you’ve experienced along the way, you are ultimately likable.
Self-like, like self-love, is not selfish
Let’s cross one of the biggest hurdles with this notion. It is not selfish to like yourself.
There is a big, big difference between you liking yourself and narcissism, arrogance, conceit, egoism, and the like.
Self-like is a product of self-respect and self-care. You be yourself and work on being the best you that you can be. That means you don’t lack compassion, kindness, caring, or empathy for others.
But you do actively work on liking yourself.
It’s all too easy for you to not like who, what, where, how, and why you are. Tons of messages in advertising tell you that you’re imperfect, lacking, insufficient, unworthy, and the like. You don’t do enough of ‘x’, use enough of ‘y’, and so on.
When you are subconsciously bombarded with those messages – and not actively working to be self-aware – they sink in and cause you to be less kind to yourself. They also show you all the bad and none of the good in who you are.
Between diet programs, gym memberships, designer clothing, and the like, it’s easy to see numerous places you need to be, have, and do more. Lots of lack that eventually translates to reasons not to like yourself.
But it is in no way, shape, or form selfish of you to work on liking yourself. Because you are always with you, 24 hours a day 7 days a week.
Another important element of learning to like yourself is that it can be massively empowering.
The empowerment when you like yourself
Because you are always with yourself, and spending the whole time you occupy that body with you, doesn’t it make sense that you like yourself?
Of course, it does. And when you learn to like yourself you become more empowered to be, have, and do the things you desire to.
How does liking yourself empower you? Because when you like yourself you are better able to connect with your mindset/headspace/psyche inner being. Which is your conscious self.
When you are more aware of your conscious awareness, you’re in a better position to use mindfulness to control what you’re thinking, what and how you’re feeling, what your intentions are, and any actions you take. That, ultimately, empowers you.
Why like yourself? Because you are the only you that there is. You’re the only you that will ever be. And the reality of this fact is that you’re amazing.
Everyone has bad days. We all go through shit. But through it all, we’re all incredible miracles of life. You are special because you are you, in the here and now. And worthy and deserving of being liked not only by others – but by yourself.
Unless you have bad intent and actively, knowingly hurt and/or harm others, you’re a good person. That in and of itself makes you worthy of being liked. I know that can be hard to see and process – but it’s the truth.
Why? Because you have the power to be anything you genuinely desire to be. If that wasn’t true, you would never have started to read this in the first place.
You have all the power and empowerment as such.
When you like yourself – you show others how to like you, too.
You’re not just likable, but lovable
When you learn to like yourself, it becomes easier to learn to love yourself.
Here’s the thing – we, as a society, are too stuck on ideals of romantic love. These notions of soul mates, twin flames, and other ideals of falling in love with someone.
But love is bigger than that. Love is the sun in trees, the dew on the grass, and life itself. Love is a powerful force of creativity that is akin to the Force – but without a dark side.
That’s one of the great lies. Love can’t hurt you. Love, like gratitude, is not something that can cause hurt or harm. But often, in the guise of love, people will be harmful in mental, emotional, and physical ways.
But if you can’t wrap your head around this – and there’s nothing wrong with you if you can’t – take it a step back. Focus on liking yourself rather than loving yourself. See your worth as someone to hang out with, spend time with, and enjoy overall.
If you can’t – how can you change it? Because you can change it. Why? Because you alone are in your head, heart, and soul. If you don’t like who or what you find you have all the power in the universe to change.
That begins with mindfulness – conscious awareness – of you. You can choose to change anything about your inner being that you’re not so fond of. And if you can’t do that alone – seek help. Therapy; a trusted confidant; a book, blog, or podcast on the element you desire to change; any combination or all of the above.
You can change your inner being. And unless you actively, knowingly – and with malice of forethought – hurt and/or harm others – you’re a good, worthy, and deserving person. Not just likable but loveable.
Doing what it takes to like yourself isn’t hard
It’s all about working with mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, and intentions to direct your actions.
When you accept that you are always with you – all the time – you can choose to change elements of yourself that you are not fond of. Knowing that you are in control of your mindset/headspace/psyche self, and the only person who occupies your head, heart, and soul, you can see why it’s good and useful to like yourself. And you’re worthy and deserving of being liked by all, yourself included.
This empowers you – and in turn, your empowerment can empower others around you. Then that can expand to change the bigger picture matters, too.
Taking an approach to positivity and negativity – from the vast cylinder that exists between them – shifts matters in a way to open more dialogue. In that form, you can explore and share where you are between the extremes and how that impacts you here and now.
Choosing thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions for yourself employs positivity for realizing amazing potential and possibilities for your life.
Lastly, the better aware you are of yourself in the now, the more you can do to choose and decide how your life experiences will be. When that empowers you, it can also open those around you to their empowerment.
To me, that’s a worthwhile endeavor to explore and share.
Thank you for coming along on this journey.
This is the four hundred-and-sixty-fifth entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.
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