Why Don’t Negative Thoughts, Feelings, and Actions Bring Positive Outcomes?
This is obvious, right? And yet…
I’ve met many people who are constant complainers.
This is wrong, that’s not right, those things are imperfect. People, places, things – they will find something to complain about.
What’s funny about this – not funny – is that they frequently add a complaint even to something good. We had a great experience at that restaurant – except for the waitress or It was a great rental car, but it smelled like air freshener or It was a great date, he just parts his hair to the left rather than the right, and it bothers me.
In addition to the constant complainers, there are lots of people who have ideas – but never execute them. Or worse, they have an excuse for why they won’t. These are the never-doers.
This isn’t the time or I need to lose 1000 pounds first or I don’t know how it can be done and so on. Something is always there that will get in the way of the execution of any given plan.
And then there are the people who blame other people, places, and things for their problems. I’m not talking about recognizing the culpability of another’s actions – like a drunk driver who wrecked your car. This is the person who blames everyone and everything for their lack.
The job market is crap, my parents were narcissistic pinheads, the boss is an asshole, “the man” is keeping me down, the sun always gets in my eyes, that mediocre guy got in my way, and the like.
And the cherry on top is that they wonder why their life isn’t how, what, where, or why they most desire for it to be.
Negative thoughts, feelings, and actions cannot bring positive outcomes. Why isn’t this obvious?
You can’t turn left if the wheel is turned to the right
Positive and negative are opposite ends of a spectrum. It’s not a coin. There is a huge space between positivity and negativity. That’s why I consider it a cylinder.
BUT – it’s not a solid cylinder. That’s because positive and negative don’t always remain as they are. Something positive today can become negative tomorrow. Hence – the flexible cylinder.
You and I exist between positivity and negativity. From that space between these extremes, we choose which direction we’re facing.
If you’re facing the negative on the right, you’re obviously not facing positive on the left.
More complexly, if you have your wheel turned towards negative on the right – complaining, not executing your ideas, or blaming others – then it should come as no surprise when you can’t face the positive in the opposite direction.
Yet people are constantly questioning this. Often, this is attached to a statement like “I’m a good person, why don’t good things happen to me?” or “I’ve done all the right things – why can’t I get what I desire?” and the like.
You can’t turn towards the positive when your steering wheel is turned towards the negative.
Positive outcomes require a conscious approach
To get the positive outcomes you desire for your life, you must take a positive approach.
What this is NOT is cheerful, blind, unwavering positivity. That’s toxic positivity. Also – it’s not how the Universe operates.
Shit happens. Period, end of story. You will experience bad things, suffering, loss, mental/emotional/spiritual and physical pain – because that’s life.
Every day you are alive is a new day. That means that every day, you get to choose how you face and approach what’s happening.
Constant complainers, never-doers, and blamers are choosing a negative approach. Odds are, they’re doing so wholly subconsciously. If they were conscious of this being negative, they might choose not to do it.
Conscious awareness can be both active and passive. This can be illustrated by driving a car. You are actively aware of the road in front of you, the steering wheel in your hands, your foot on the gas or brake, and so on. Passively, you’re aware of the cars around you, others in the vehicle with you, music on the radio (unless you’re singing along, which makes this active), traffic lights, and so on.
Choosing active conscious awareness is mindfulness. Mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions informs you – here and now, in the present – of who, what, where, how, and why you are. That opens the way for you to choose your approach – positive or negative.
Hence, if you’re a complainer, never-doer, or blamer, you can choose to change your approach via mindfulness.
There is no quick fix
This takes time, effort, energy, and practice. It’s an ongoing process.
Every day is different. Today isn’t yesterday, tomorrow won’t be today, and who knows what your day will look like in a week?
Things can, will, and do happen over which you have ZERO control. Relationships start and end, jobs are won and lost, people and pets die, and so on. This will impact the day you have positively and negatively.
However, you get to choose how long negative things impact you, as well as your overall day-to-day approach. But this is an ongoing, adaptable, ever-changing process.
There is no quick-fix solution to anything. Someone will tell you that they have a quick-fix solution – but odds are they’re actively selling you something. There is no genuine, real quick fix for anything.
Practice is the key. The best way to practice is via active conscious awareness. This means making choices and decisions on the regular.
This can be massively challenging. Our consumerist society is all about instant gratification and quick fixes. Authentic, positive outcomes are products of time, effort, and energy. They’re a satisfactory result of the work that goes into them.
Quick fixes are hollow because they’re not genuine. That’s why they’re not real.
You always have a choice
Are you alive? So long as the answer is yes – you have a choice.
I’m not saying the choice doesn’t necessarily suck. Sometimes your choices are between the lesser of two evils. But you always have a choice. And like any muscle, the more you exercise choosing, the stronger your choice muscles get.
Sometimes this feels like a lie. Certain choices don’t feel much like choices. But the only way to get positive outcomes is active choices for your life experience.
You can start small. Actively, mindfully choose what you’re wearing, what you eat, how you prepare your coffee or tea, scrolling through social media, and so on. The more actively you choose these, the more you strengthen your choice muscle overall.
Notice if you are a complainer, a never-doer, or a blamer. If you are – don’t get mad at yourself, frustrated, or otherwise negative. Forgive yourself, let it go. Don’t dwell on it or be down on yourself over it. Be mindful before you complain, do nothing, or blame again.
You have the power to create positive outcomes in your life. To do so, you must be mindful first if you are taking positive or negative approaches to life, the Universe, and everything.
No matter what approach you’ve been taking – you have the power to choose to change. Active conscious awareness is how that’s done. That power – the choice – is yours to make.
What will you do with it today?
Choosing your approach for positive outcomes isn’t hard
It’s all about working with mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, and intentions to direct your actions.
When you recognize the space between the extremes of positivity and negativity – and which direction you’re facing or turning the wheel of your life towards – you gain the ability to alter your approach. Knowing that you always have a choice and can take control of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions via active conscious awareness – mindfulness – you can point your life in the direction necessary to find and/or create desirable positive outcomes.
This empowers you – and in turn, your empowerment can empower others around you.
Taking an approach to positivity and negativity – from the vast cylinder that exists between them – shifts life in a way to open more dialogue. With a broader dialogue, you can explore and share where you are between the extremes and how that impacts you here and now.
Choosing thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions for yourself employs an approach and attitude of positivity for realizing amazing potential and possibilities for your life.
The better aware you are of yourself in the now, the more you can do to choose and decide how your life experiences will be. When that empowers you, it can spread to those around you to their empowerment.
Thank you for coming along on this journey.
This is the five-hundredth (500) entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.
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