Why Don’t I Understand?
There will always be things I just don’t understand.
Some are emotional. I know people who feel certain ways about certain things that I simply cannot fathom. No judgements, this is just a statement of fact.
Some are logical. Some judgement here, given notions like flat-earthers and racists and misogynists and the like. I just don’t understand how logic and reason can go out the window for easily disproven beliefs.
For a long time I have said that life is about learning new things. There is always something new to be learned, and mysteries to understand. Things happen that need to be explored, good and bad, in order to be dealt with, understood, and in some instances prevented from recurring.
Despite this, there are things that I know I just won’t understand. I can apply all the logic and reason I know, and it still won’t make any sense to me. Yet because of my empathic nature, I not only want to understand it, but in some cases I want to fix it.
You think the earth is flat? Let me show you all the reasons why this is untrue. Do you believe that women are somehow inferior to men? I want to help you to see how this is not the case. Think trickle-down economics will work? Allow me to find you the forty years worth of evidence that this is not so.
Because I don’t understand how people believe these things, I want to help them understand that they need to open themselves up to more reason and logic. Unfortunately, a closed mind, or a resolved mindset cannot be dissuaded, forced open, or changed without a desire for change.
When I don’t understand, and want to fix that, I have to recognize that I can’t.
Why don’t you understand?
Asking this question can only effect one single person. Me. I am the only one who can answer this. Why? Because the only person who’s mind I can actually change is my own. It’s imperative that I recognize that when I don’t understand someone or something else, I cannot change THEM, I can only change me.
I’m going to get really personal here a moment. My wife’s family has a wholly different dynamic from my own. It is so different, in fact, that in many respects it feels actually alien to me. The way they care for one another, how they react to crisis, and how they relate to one another frequently makes no sense to me.
I try to understand this. Because this is an emotional issue, and I might have a few issues of my own when it comes to emotions, this is often almost incomprehensible to me. The hows and whys of their dynamic is completely different from anything I have experienced before.
Don’t misunderstand me, I love my in-laws. Because my own family has a whole lot of different dynamics on all these levels, the way they are is wildly different from what I already know.
This is a key to understanding. Our experiences throughout our lives are going to color how we perceive the world. I was raised Jewish in the suburbs of Minneapolis, and my parents divorced when I was five. My family is small, each parent has a single sibling, and they are not all that close.
My wife was raised Catholic in New Jersey, and her parents have been together for over forty years. Her family is humungous, one parent has I think five siblings, and her family is very close. Almost the polar opposite of what I know.
Understanding grows from experience.
The thing to realize is that I simple won’t ever fully understand some things. That’s the nature of the world. There are over seven billion people on this planet, speaking hundreds of different languages, coming from countless family dynamics, each with unique knowledge, experience, and their own understandings.
When we recognize this, we can do better with knowing what we understand. Why? Because we learn that there are things we just won’t understand. Further, recognizing that you can’t necessarily make someone else understand what you do, you have more to work with.
As I work on crossing the bridges between my worlds, it occurs to me that the number of worlds I visualize for my life are pretty numerous. Some of the worlds, those of my own creation, I completely understand. Others, though, in particular those I share with other people, I will probably never completely get.
One of the most important things to recognize about this notion is that we all understand different things. We cannot force anyone else to understand what we do. Even when we are dealing with logical and reasonable matters, our differences will color what we define as logic and reason.
I believe that the more I understand about myself, the more I can help people gain their own understanding via my example. When I consciously create reality, walk my own path, and manifest the life I desire, in my example I can help others do the same.
There are always new worlds around me. I can build and cross bridges between them, even when I don’t understand everything about them. Yes, it can be frustrating sometimes. Yet, rather than see it negatively, we can see it as a challenge. This can be a growth opportunity. It’s a matter of what you understand.
As always, thank you for crossing the bridges between my worlds with me.
GOAL LOG – Week 43:
Diet: I have not been keeping track yet again this week.
Exercise: Fenced twice, but that was it. Knee injury is still lessening my exercise more than I should let it.
Writing: Three blog posts, and some work on the sci-fi story.
Meditation: Only a couple days this week. I have to improve on that.
Gratitude: I was not tracking gratitude again.
This is the fifty-eighth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series. My collectively published writing can be found here.
