Why Can’t We Always Have Positivity in Life?
Because change is inevitable – and positivity coexists with negativity.
We live in a world of opposites and extremes. But the important thing about this is that we exist within the opposites and extremes.
Very few people exist at any given extreme. Near, perhaps – but seldom at. This is why comparing extremes and opposites via a coin misunderstands the breadth and depth of this reality. It’s not a coin, it’s a cylinder with vast space between the given extremes.
Take black and white, for example. There are how many colors and shades of grey between these extremes? More than I can express easily, that’s for sure.
This is true of all extremes and opposites. What exists between them is incredible variations that sometimes can’t be parsed easily.
Directions like north, south, east, and west exist on a 360-degree compass. You can be off true to any extreme by a degree, half a degree, maybe even a millionth of a degree. But you are still not at the given extreme.
What’s more, the cylinders between any extremes are not solid, but flexible. And they can shift because the extremes themselves can shift.
For example, the pinnacle hero of a given story might suddenly and unexpectedly turn into the villain of the peace – and the focal villain might turn heroic. This might be a fictional example – but it happens in the real world, too.
Extremes and opposites change. What exists between them changes. The only thing that doesn’t change is change itself. We live in a Universe of impermanence – where change is the only constant. And that is why there is nothing we can or will always have – tangible or intangible.
Impermanence is the way of nature
Billions of years ago, the Big Bang set the Universe in motion. Since then, it has been expanding, shifting, and changing.
Down here on Planet Earth, the world has shifted and changed time and time again. For example, nearly 300 million years ago all the continents were a singular entity known as Pangea. Now there are 7 continents instead of 1.
The land of these continents has changed. All you need to do is look at the strata of the Grand Canyon and you can see millions of years of history and change.
Human beings have changed. It’s a lot harder to see because homo sapien sapiens – modern human beings – first appeared only 300,000 years ago. That’s not a lot of relative time – hence our evolution has seemed much slower and less pronounced.
But it all comes down to change. Change is the one and only constant. Every single human life changes. We are born small and helpless, grow to be larger and stronger, in time become powerful and empowered, and then shrink to smaller and more helpless before we die.
And sometimes death comes sooner and in our prime – or even before it.
Impermanence is a given. All living things die. Mountains rise and fall. Rivers flow and dry out. Oceans turn to deserts and deserts turn to oceans. That’s the workings of the Universe.
For many people, this is too harsh, too scary, and too malleable to face. So they don’t. And when change occurs it often takes them by surprise.
Positivity is a direction, not a destination
Those who sell positivity as the One True Way to exist have created toxic positivity instead. Because of impermanence, we not only can’t always have positivity in our lives – but we must have negativity, too. Also, we don’t live on either end of the cylinder of opposites and extremes – but somewhere between them.
The reality of seeking out, finding, and/or creating positivity is not about reaching it as a destination. Instead, it’s about it being a direction. Just like a compass point.
When we travel upon the Earth, we’re moving in one direction along the compass or another. We might be going north, south, east, or west – or somewhere within degrees between them. Likewise, we can choose to look towards positivity, negativity – or between them.
Positivity is not the end-all-be-all destination for life, the Universe, and everything. It can’t be. Why? Because life is impermanent. Hence, we can choose it as a direction to face and head towards – but nothing more than that.
How do we recognize and work with this? Mindfulness.
Mindfulness is the way to choose direction
I’ve written many times that I believe there are three ways to live this life. There is no One True Way, mind you – but I think there’s a positive, negative, and neutral option. Your mileage may vary.
- Let life live you. What happens, happens. You seldom take the wheel and just go with the ebb and flow. Existence with a sense of no control but little desire to try and find or take it. Neutral.
- Curl up in a ball and await death. Life sucks. This is a broken, imperfect, painful world. Effort isn’t worth it, so why bother? This is a state of victimhood. I also think this is why and how religious zealots caring only for an afterlife and ignoring life itself exist, too. Negative.
- Take the wheel and drive life. We are empowered to make choices and decisions for our lives. To do so, we must consciously place ourselves in the driver’s seat. Positive.
How do we take the wheel? Mindfulness. Practicing conscious awareness of our thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions in the present. Here and now. Recognizing and acknowledging what we are thinking, what and how we’re feeling, and our actions and intentions in the now opens the way to taking the wheel and choosing how we direct them and ourselves.
Let me be clear – everyone is going to flip between the three above ways to live life. That’s because, frankly, shit happens. We get fired, dumped, injured, etc. People leave us and die. Things happen that make it feel like there’s no point and we might as well not bother.
But after those initial, visceral reactions – we get to choose. Or not. Stay neutral, drive toward positivity, or be driven to negativity.
Remember thou art mortal
All those obscenely rich, arrogant billionaires will eventually die. And they can’t take it with them. Some will try in one way or another to do so. Also, some will destroy all they can to make sure nobody else can have what they did out of pettiness, greed, spite, or whatever.
Politicians and their horrid, selfish, cruel actions will die. History is rife with monsters who are gone.
You and I will die in time, too. For many people, this is a terrifying notion. And what lies beyond this life – if anything – is a mystery that we can’t know until we make our way there eventually, too.
Rather than allow this to freak us out – we should embrace it. Why? Because then we become more apt to choose to take the wheel of life and be empowered. I think we become more willing to seek to find and/or create positivity and all the good that comes from it.
Also, remembering our imminent mortality makes us kinder, gentler, and more compassionate. Why? Because we empathize better knowing nothing is forever.
Additionally – mindfulness lets us better roll with the punches and change.
Why can’t we always have positivity in life? Because nothing in life is always. And that’s a good thing – because that means bad things can and will change to good. We’re never stuck forever. Change can thus be an ally rather than an enemy.
Recognizing why we can’t always have positivity in life isn’t hard
It’s all about working with mindfulness of our thoughts, feelings, and intentions to direct our actions.
When we recognize and acknowledge the vast space between opposites and extremes, we see that there’s more to everything than we often realize. Knowing that change is the only constant in the Universe – and that everything is impermanent – we can employ mindfulness to make choices and decisions for what directional extremes we desire to face.
This empowers us – and in turn, our empowerment can empower others around us. That can expand to change the bigger picture matters.
Choosing for ourselves generally leans positively.
Taking an approach to positivity and negativity – from the vast cylinder that exists between them – shifts matters in a way to open more dialogue. In that form, we can explore and share where we are between the extremes and how that impacts us here and now.
Lastly, I believe the better aware we are of ourselves in the now, the more we can do to choose and decide how our life experiences will be. When that empowers us, it can also open those around us to their empowerment. And that is, to me, a worthwhile endeavor to explore and share.
Thank you for coming along on this ride with me.
This is the four hundred and forty-fourth entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread positivity.
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