What’s So Great About Accepting So Little Control?
It’s empowering when you accept what control you DO have.
The only thing over which you and I have control is ourselves.
Even then, there are limits to what you can and do control.
All of them are internal. Sure, there are externals that you can direct – but control is not the case. You can change your body shape, eye color, hair length and color, what you wear, and maybe a couple of other elements of yourself. That’s pretty much the extent of your external control.
Internally, you control yourself. But that’s not always obvious, and it requires conscious awareness to be controlled. Because when you aren’t consciously aware – and in the now – your habits, beliefs, values, and subconscious/egoic self are behind the wheel.
Before I get into the subconscious/ego further, let’s consider what you do control via conscious awareness. It’s your mindset/headspace/psyche self – and that’s via active control of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.
Do you know what else you can control? Nothing. That’s it. You have only control over what you’re thinking, what and how you’re feeling, the intentions you have, and the actions you do or don’t take.
That’s not much, it is? What if I told you that accepting so little control is actually incredibly freeing and empowering?
Less is more
There are 8 billion people in this world. Can you imagine having to control another person other than yourself? How about multiple persons among those 8 billion? That’s pretty overwhelming.
What if you could control the weather? How about other drivers on the road? What about controlling the sunrise and sunset? And – this would be in addition to your own self-control.
It would be a lot. And maybe you could do it once – but constantly? All the days of your life? You’d probably lose your mind.
Besides – how often do you truly assert control over what you do control? How often do you practice mindfulness, and via your conscious awareness take control of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions? Chances are, you don’t assume that as often as you could.
Most of us get focused on things happening in the world around us. You see the news about the war in Ukraine, ongoing insane partisan politics, billionaires being incredibly selfish, and other things far outside your control. It’s easy to get distracted by these outside pictures.
But then you dial it in closer to home, but still with a focus on things you can’t control. The poor choices of friends, family, and coworkers; spouses and partners doing questionable things; and people in your life and the things they have going on in general. It’s easy to get distracted by these outside pictures, too.
No matter what you do – you have zero control over these matters. None whatsoever. Goose egg. Nil points.
Recognizing and acknowledging this – why would you try to take any control of it whatsoever? Since you can’t – why be bothered?
Probably because you want to show that you care. That’s great – until your efforts to control these things leave you with no fuel for yourself.
Taking control of what you can control is empowering
What if – rather than focus on the things outside of yourself that are likewise outside of your control – you turn it inwards? What if you focus on what you can and do control instead?
How does this work? It starts with conscious awareness. This is mindfulness and only works in the present, here and now.
To do this you begin by asking questions like,
- What am I thinking?
- What am I feeling?
- How am I feeling?
- What am I doing?
- What do I intend?
These are questions that can only be genuinely answered here and now.
Once you have those answers, you gain control of your mindset/headspace/psyche self. This means you gain control of your present life experiences.
And if you don’t like the answers – you’re empowered to take that control and change them.
It doesn’t always seem like you can change your thoughts and feelings. But why not? Whose are they? Yours. And only yours. Which means you, and only you, can change them.
I don’t know about you – but to me, that looks like a ton of control that’s super empowering.
Not as little as you might think
Who else but you is in your head, heart, or soul? Nobody else, that’s who.
If that’s so, then can you be in someone else’s head, heart, or soul? No, you can’t.
You can impact someone, inspire them, annoy them, and otherwise get into their consciousness – but not their conscious awareness. That’s for them alone. And the same is true for you and me.
When you stop trying to control things outside of yourself – it’s deeply freeing. You stop worrying needlessly about people, places, and things you have no power over. That tax on your time and energy ceases to be.
Does that mean you stop caring? No. You can still care about people, places, and things outside of yourself. But when you cede control of them – or attempts to take it – you can care without smothering, wasting time and energy on something you have no impact on, and care in the most genuine and legitimate ways that you can.
What’s more, when you have control over your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions, you manage your life experience. You can make new choices and decisions for yourself that can open the way to greater care for others.
The other thing is this – you don’t just get control and then have it for good. Change being the one and only constant in the universe – what it takes to assume control changes. Thus, it’s an ongoing process to get and take that power – even over your own thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.
A note about the subconscious mind and ego
Your subconscious mind is where your habits, beliefs, and values live. Often, they were created and embedded in your subconscious when you were unaware. You might not even recognize them for what they are and how they impact you until you take control of them.
Your ego is a construct created like a bridge between your subconscious and conscious mind. Your ego is both how you project yourself outwards to the world and reflect inwards when you don’t consciously assume control with mindfulness. Thus, your ego will often have been created to show elements of who you were rather than who you are.
What’s more, your ego is protecting you from harm – but often in a way that’s causing harm. That’s because the ego tends to be resistant to change.
Mindfulness and conscious awareness – via taking control of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions – removes the ego from behind the wheel and lets you take charge.
Who should drive your life? You from years ago, someone else, or you as you are here and now? The control to do the driving is yours for the taking – and ultimately, it’s empowering when you accept what power you do have and take it.
Recognizing the little control you do have isn’t hard
It’s all about working with mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, and intentions to direct your actions.
When you recognize that you have control over very little in the world – and that’s mostly your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions – you gain a degree of freedom like nothing you’ve experienced before. Knowing that taking charge of your conscious awareness reduces tension and stress from trying to control other people, places, and things, you open yourself to controlling your life experience for your betterment.
This empowers you – and in turn, your empowerment can empower others around you. That can expand to change the bigger picture matters, too.
Choosing thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions for yourself employs positivity for realizing amazing potential and possibilities for your life.
Taking an approach to positivity and negativity – from the vast cylinder that exists between them – shifts matters in a way to open more dialogue. In that form, you can explore and share where you are between the extremes and how that impacts you here and now.
Lastly, the better aware you are of yourself in the now, the more you can do to choose and decide how your life experiences will be. When that empowers you, it can also open those around you to their own empowerment.
To me, that’s a worthwhile endeavor to explore and share.
Thank you for coming along on this journey.
This is the four hundred-and-sixty-third entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.
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