What is Well-Intentioned Resistance?
As you walk your chosen paths, you will meet well-intentioned resistance.
Well-intentioned resistance is when people give you news and information that is “for your own good” or to “tell it like it is” or to otherwise offer advice, in order to keep you from making “poor” choices. This comes from those closest to you, and can be very disconcerting.
Society has certain norms and expectations of us. We are supposed to go through the motions. You work five days a week, at least eight hours a day. Get a job that pays the most money you can make, and expect that it might be soul-sucking and lacking in fun. Have a romantic partner, because you’re not supposed to be alone. Get a college education.
When you break from those expectations, those who are closest to you may not understand. They think that because you are doing something different and possibly risky, you don’t recognize the dangers. They may well believe in you, but they also are firmly rooted in that which is considered “normal”. What you are doing is alien, unusual, and thus suspect.
Meeting well-intentioned resistance is deeply frustrating.
The challenge of finding and choosing your own path, and breaking away from the societal norm is difficult enough. When your loved ones question your choices, and your actions, it adds a whole layer of difficulty you don’t need. Working on being more aware of your own thoughts, feelings and actions, then employing consciousness to create a new reality is huge. Breaking from the expected is scary enough, but having other people add their fears to your work isn’t helpful.
Pathwalking is about taking control of life, choosing your own adventures. When you come to terms with the notion that consciousness creates reality, it feels almost crazy. Can it really be THAT easy to break away from a life that leaves me flat and build one that excites me? Of course the answer is both yes and no, because becoming AWARE of how and what you are thinking, feeling and acting upon takes a lot of adjustment.
Adding outside influences to this mix is inevitable. Unless you are completely alone in the world, or cut-off from news and social-media and whatnot, you will encounter outside influences. It can be tough to avoid general outside influences, but it’s really hard to avoid loved ones, be they family or friends.
Don’t let the other people’s fear become your fear.
Because nobody but you can know what is in your head, explaining the path you are walking may feel futile. Try though you might to show in detail how you are striving to manifest a life you want, some people simply won’t get it. This is especially true when those people love you, and you love them, and they only want what they think is best for you.
This is one of the key issues, of course. What THEY think is best for YOU. How do they know? How can they know? Answer – they don’t. But in their own experiences, what you are doing might seem unusual, might seem overly optimistic, might even seem crazy. Because they don’t want you to be hurt, they offer you their own point-of-view, which is resistance to the change you are working to make.
It is human nature to protect those we love. Whether that means standing between your child and a hungry lion, or trying to dissuade that child from an idea you don’t understand and fear might maul them in the same manner, it is viewed as protective, and a part of love. Of course that makes it all-the-more insidious.
How do you accept that love without letting it affect you?
While our loved ones are throwing a wet blanket over our path in an attempt to stop us from being hurt, we, in turn, don’t want to hurt them. Yet we generally won’t tell them to back off, or thanks but no thanks, or what-have-you. Further, if they are the type to harp on a topic long enough, no matter how strong your psyche, it will wear you down and complicate the path you are walking.
What can you do about this?
First: Don’t take it in unless it REALLY resonates with you. Sometimes, this outside perspective may show that you actually SHOULD step away from the path you are on. Maybe the well-intentioned resistance opens a new path showing that which you are on won’t work. However, once you’ve reached the point of meeting this resistance, this likely won’t be the case.
Second: Don’t argue. It’s part of our nature to meet resistance with resistance. This won’t dissuade the well-intentioned, they will take it as a sign that they are right.
Third: Don’t fully engage. Thank them for their advice, but don’t really engage them to go further. Change the topic. Walk away. Make an excuse to get off the phone or stop texting or whatever.
Fourth: Don’t discuss it with them in the future. The people offering well-intentioned resistance have shown that they are not a good sounding board, so it might be best to steer clear of the topic as often as possible.
Fifth: Consult with a confidant for reassurance. We are only human, and when our loved ones show that they don’t believe in our goals, well-intentioned or not, it hurts. Talking with someone who supports your path can restore your confidence.
Keep walking your own path.
Pathwalking is a challenge. However, I believe that manifesting the life I most desire, and being happy in what I do and how I spend my days is more important than going with the flow and being discontent. This is why I am striving to choose for myself, and walk the best path for me that I can.
Have you met well-intentioned resistance along the way?
This is the two-hundred ninetieth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for and my personal experiences with walking along the path of life. I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.
Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-blog and share.
The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.
If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.
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