Very Little In Life is Either/Or
You seldom experience or live the extremes.
Everywhere you look the extremes are being emphasized. Rich and poor. Black and white. Brilliant and idiotic. Exciting and terrifying. Liberal and conservative. Good and evil. Extremes and opposites here, there, and everywhere.
Worse than this, many push the viewpoint that you are either/or, for or against this, that, or the other thing. This extreme viewpoint is touted as the only viewpoint and opposite another.
What’s more, the notion of either/or being your only choice between extremes and nothing else is utterly disempowering. It emphasizes things you have little to no control over and then shames you if you ignore them. It’s rather insidious when you think about it.
But, and here’s the other problem, most people don’t truly “think” about it. That’s because the tremendous emphasis on this, that, or the other extreme and its opposite creates artificial limits. It focuses on lack, scarcity, and insufficiency in a way that’s plausible but is truly unrealistic.
It all comes down to this: very little in life is either/or.
The in-between
I write about this frequently in my positivity blogs. While the opposite of positive is negative, these are the extremes. Between them, there are numerous options, positions, beliefs, and values to be had.
This is also why I prefer the analogy of a flexible cylinder between extremes rather than a coin. Between black and white, up and down, healthy and unhealthy, big and small, and so on, there are a huge number of possibilities.
For example, between black and white there are numerous, almost uncountable colors, hues, and shades to be found. As if that wasn’t enough, grey has way more than 50 shades to it.
The extremes on the opposite ends are often represented as an either/or choice. Yet, in-between, there’s so very much more to be found. Most people, places, and things exist between either/or and the given extremes.
Additionally, very little is written in stone. Nearly everything you know is changeable. You can exist towards one end of the cylinder or the other for a time, then move to another. You’re not always and forever any one thing.
Also, the reason I use the idea of a flexible cylinder, is that the extremes themselves – the either/or – aren’t fixed in stone. Something positive and good today can be negative and bad tomorrow. Today’s hero is tomorrow’s villain – and vice versa. Nothing is written in stone, save the one and only constant in the universe: change (and that’s certainly not written in stone).
Recognizing the in-between and its flexibility can go a long way for your life choices and decisions. What’s more, you seldom experience or live the extremes.
Very little in life is either/or
For the most part, life’s choices and decisions are seldom relegated to either/or. There are always other options, save for a few specific extremes.
One example of such an extreme – an especially loud and nearly impossible-to-miss one at that – is American politics.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for third-, fourth-, and fifth-party options in elections. On the local level, in your community, this is utterly applicable to choosing who to vote for. On the national level, such as a Presidential election, that’s not viable. (At least not until more local representatives of other parties get elected on local levels to make the way for breaking the two-party system). The 2024 election is not that time – this is that rare either/or choice.
Applying this to you and your life, where you have all the potential control, however, it’s clearer that more than either/or are your options. Recognizing and working with this, however, requires active conscious awareness. Mindfulness.
When you are aware of what you’re thinking, what and how you’re feeling, your intentions, if your approach is positive or negative, and your actions, you can recognize and acknowledge options beyond either/or. Recognition and acknowledgment are necessary first steps in working with this.
It’s often good to start with rote, routine, and habit to see more than your either/or options.
Turn off the autopilot
When was the last time you thought about how you brush your teeth? Pause and consider. Which hand do you use? Do you start at the top or bottom of your mouth? Is there a pattern you follow automatically in the process? What about flossing and using mouthwash for your dental hygiene?
Odds are, you just brush your teeth with little or no thought. However, this can be changed. You could switch hands, choose to start on the opposite side of your mouth, begin at the canines rather than the molars, and a whole lot of other options.
When you look closely at how you brush your teeth, it’s apparent that there’s no either/or choice involved. You have a lot of options.
This is true of every habit you employ, your beliefs, values, thoughts, and feelings. Either/or are the extremes, but the majority of your options are between them. And you have lots and lots of them.
To first recognize this, you need to choose to turn off the autopilot. Choose something small that you do habitually, by rote and routine, acknowledge it, and decide to alter it. Then act on that to make a change.
The next time you encounter or reach the same habit, alter it in yet another way. Acting on making choices and decisions beyond either/or can open tons of potential and possibilities for you.
One final thought and caveat to this.
You can only choose beyond either/or for yourself
You are the only one in your head, heart, and soul. I’m the only one in my head, heart, and soul. I can’t think, feel, intend, or act for you anymore than you can think, feel, intend, or act for me.
I can show you a path but can’t make you walk it, and vice versa. Likewise, I can offer my hand to lead you down a given path, but you choose to take it or not. Even if we walk the same path together, what I gain from the experience isn’t what you’ll gain. That’s why two people can see the same movie and have utterly opposite reactions to it.
Very little in life is an either/or proposition. While the extremes provide alternate options, most of who, what, where, how, and why you are falls somewhere in the vest, flexible cylinder between extremes. When you recognize this and acknowledge this, you become empowered. That empowerment opens you to all sorts of choices, potential, and possibilities on your life path to be who, what, where, how, and why you desire to be.
This isn’t easy to do, nor is it simple, because the emphasis on either/or being the only option is so ingrained in society. Yet when you pause and look more closely at this, you can see it more clearly and make informed choices and decisions for how you live your life.
Can you see how much exists between and beyond the notion of either/or and all that you can do with that?
This is the six-hundred-sixtieth (660) exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – applying mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.
I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.
Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-post and share this.
The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out Amazon for my published fiction and nonfiction works.
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