Trigger Warning: Do You Control Your Triggers or Do They Control You?
What I’m exploring here might upset people with various triggers. But please read on.
I’m all for warning about content. Some people have sensitivities that should be acknowledged and addressed as such. I think it’s good to be sensitive to this.
Now I’m going to get controversial. Some people will do everything in their power to avoid their triggers. I get that, I really do. I have some triggers, too.
But this becomes problematic because avoiding triggers allows them to continue to trigger you.
Some might argue that triggers simply are and should be respected as such. But I don’t buy that – particularly having dealt with/dealing with my own. Triggers can cease to trigger you – but only when and if you address them.
This is not an easy process. And in some instances, particularly with serious trauma, this should only be done with a trained professional guiding you (i.e., a psychologist, social worker, psychiatrist, or other trained therapist).
Avoiding your triggers will leave them the ability to trigger you. That’s the long and short of it. Hence, addressing, recognizing, and acknowledging what triggers you is key to taking control. With that, you control them rather than your triggers controlling you.
Let’s start by addressing the biggest elephant in the room.
Life is seldom easy or painless
You can’t deny that sometimes life sucks. Shit happens. You get fucked over by this, that, or the other thing. No matter how much you try to avoid or dodge this, you can’t.
You will experience pain. Mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical hurt cannot be avoided – unless you sequester yourself away from the world. And even then, there are no guarantees of safety.
Many of the awful things that happen won’t be your doing or your fault. Random happenstance can’t be predicted because it’s random. Your loving partner can turn abusive. That perfect job can become a nightmare. The amazing workout you love can cause an injury. That religion you practice can become toxic. Someone you love – who you thought loved you – might inflict physical, mental, emotional, and/or spiritual pain.
It’s not pretty. And just the idea of many of the above triggers people. I understand being sensitive to bad things.
The problem, however, begins when triggers are used to avoid situations. Yes, at first this is natural and can benefit you – particularly immediately after an incident that causes a trigger to come into being.
But after that inciting incident, this is a conscious or subconscious choice. Choosing to avoid pain is logical – to a point. When that avoidance turns you into a constant victim of circumstance you cede your power and relinquish control. That disempowerment can impact every aspect of your life experience.
If you refuse to recognize and address what triggers you – you will always be the victim. And you cede control that would otherwise be yours.
Do you control triggers or do they control you?
I recognize that some might find this whole article to be insensitive. That’s not my intent. My intent is to show that triggers only control you when and if you allow them to.
The power to overcome something that triggers you is wholly, entirely, yours.
But this might appear impossibly difficult, painfully challenging, and utterly unfair. Truth it – it damned well might be.
However – that doesn’t change the fact that you can take control of your triggers rather than allow them to control you.
So long as you avoid things that trigger you – they will always trigger you.
That’s not to say there aren’t times and situations when it is wise to avoid your triggers. There absolutely are times to avoid things that throw you off and make you miserable. The problem comes when your default is to always avoid the things that trigger you, and not address them at all.
There is no one true way to do this. And, again, you might need/want professional help with this process. But the starting point, like many things, is accessible to everyone and a simple matter of…
Accountability and mindfulness
The first aspect of dealing with triggers is being accountable for them.
That is NOT the same as taking blame or ascribing fault for them. What it is, instead, is recognizing and acknowledging them.
I believe a lot of issues with triggers – and letting them control you – come from avoiding them. But they will ALWAYS trigger you if you do not recognize and acknowledge them. And that is a matter of accountability.
Part of that is not just knowing what it is that triggers you. It’s also becoming familiar with how it triggers you, what that feels like, how it impacts your thoughts and feelings, and what impact it has on your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health.
Once you’ve accepted and taken accountability for your trigger – now comes mindfulness.
Mindfulness is active, conscious awareness of what triggers you. Specifically, in the here and now. Because only in the now can you do anything to work out your triggers and take control over them.
Why? Because triggers impact your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions. Mindfulness is conscious awareness of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions. Thus, if you’re mindful of what you’re thinking, how and what you’re feeling, what you’re intending, and what you’re doing – you gain control to change them.
This can’t be done in the past or future, it can only be done in the present. Active conscious awareness – mindfulness – only exists in the present, in the now.
Mindfulness gives you control. And that is how you take control of your triggers to do the work so that they don’t trigger you.
Do you really have a choice when it comes to this?
Triggers, in and of themselves, are a great big, gigantic negative. They’re tied to trauma, pain, suffering, hurt, and other painful, unpleasant, negative thoughts and feelings.
If you’re triggered by something, it’s a negative reaction to something. And it will control you for as long as you avoid it, deny it, ignore it, and run away from it.
Yes, there are circumstances where this just is, and nothing can or even should be done about it. But if you desire to be in charge of your life experience, you can’t ignore, disregard, and avoid your triggers forever.
When you do the work to address your triggers – and strive to take control over them – you’re empowered. When you’re empowered, you get stronger emotionally, mentally, spiritually – and that can also lead to greater physical strength, too. Your overall health, wellness, and wellbeing improve because that thing causing so much upset and disruption in your life loses its power over you.
Lessons are learned. And I don’t know about you – but anytime I have a chance to learn something new and grow from it – that’s a huge positive.
My point, overall, is that you have a choice. Do you allow your triggers to control you and impact all of your life experiences – or – do you strive to take control of your triggers and deal with them so that you consciously, mindfully drive your life?
Yes, this can be super hard. You might genuinely need professional help to even remotely consider doing it. But wouldn’t you rather have control and be empowered than be controlled and disempowered?
Choosing to take control of your triggers rather than let them control you is a challenge
It’s all about working with mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, and intentions to direct your actions.
When you have triggers, they are not something to ignore or downplay. But how they impact you, and whether they will always control you is a choice. Knowing that you have the power to be accountable for your triggers, and get to know how they impact you, you can choose to address them rather than avoid them – even if you need professional help to do so.
This empowers you – and in turn, your empowerment can empower others around you. Then that can expand to change the bigger picture matters, too.
Taking an approach to positivity and negativity – from the vast cylinder that exists between them – shifts matters in a way to open more dialogue. In that form, you can explore and share where you are between the extremes and how that impacts you here and now.
Choosing thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions for yourself employs positivity for realizing amazing potential and possibilities for your life.
Lastly, the better aware you are of yourself in the now, the more you can do to choose and decide how your life experiences will be. When that empowers you, it can also open those around you to their empowerment.
To me, that’s a worthwhile endeavor to explore and share.
Thank you for coming along on this journey.
This is the four hundred-and-eighty-third entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.
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