The Positivity of Being Your Truest Self Isn’t Easy
But it’s totally worth it – because you are worth it.
Are you your genuine self?
Maybe, like me, you’ve worn different masks in various situations. This was the “self” you presented to specific audiences, for diverse reasons.
One mask at work, one at school, one for friends, one for family, one in private, one in public. Group ‘X’ of people you spend time with get one mask, while group ‘Y’ gets another.
There’s nothing evil, dishonest, or deceitful in this practice. You most likely do this to maximize your acceptance by the people seeing you in that way.
It’s part of the human condition to be accepted by peers of various stripes. When you are rejected, you risk loneliness, sadness, and suffering. A worse fear is your overall survival. Even the most introverted people still might present different selves to different groups.
However, putting on different identities for particular groups can be exhausting. You’re not lying or being a fraud in any malicious sense. But when you’re not your truest self, you’re not wholly you. And that can tax your psyche in lots of ways.
I did this for a long time. I’d show myself one way to my friends, another way to my coworkers, yet another way to family, and so forth. While it helped develop acceptance and validation from those groups – it took me away from my truest self.
That’s where it gets the most problematic.
When you aren’t entirely you
When you show variations of yourself to different groups, you create a sense of self that’s not entirely true. The people-pleasing to gain acceptance can be great – when you’re among those people. But when you are with another group or on your own – you might start to have issues.
For example, if you work in a space filled with conservatives and you’re a liberal – that compromise you make by not being your genuine self can cause issues. You might start feeling displaced anger and resentment because you can’t be your truest self for long periods of the day. This can lead to depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues.
Human beings are made up of 4 elements when it comes to our health, wellness, and wellbeing. The 4 elements are,
- Physical health
- Mental health
- Emotional health
- Spiritual health
Mental, emotional, and spiritual health – being utterly intangible – are often tied together under the label of mental health. The 4-part separation I work with makes it easier to recognize and identify impacted elements of health, wellness, and wellbeing – and then work on any issues that occur.
Not being your truest self – by wearing a different mask in separate groupings – will inevitably take a toll on your mental/emotional/spiritual health. Why? Because when you wear a mask long enough, you start questioning the truth of your truest self. You might be forming a false, disingenuous identity that is self-harming.
Acceptance by different groups can feel good in the moment you’re with them. But you – as a human being – have a fundamental, hard-wired need to find and be your truest self.
Not being your truest self makes it increasingly difficult and challenging to maintain your center and stability.
Finding and being your truest self
Our society and culture tend to formulate “norms”. To be accepted and to fit in, we might adjust how we present ourselves so that we’re acceptable and don’t get rejected.
I’m sure there are plenty of people for whom this is fine. The societal norms are their norms. But they are not everyone’s.
I’ve never been “normal”. I was among a minority or two where I grew up, have routinely chosen paths that are not “normal”, and the like. This created a lot of contention in different groups I was part of. Thus, I put on one mask for my “self” for my family, another for my friends, another for coworkers, and so on.
Over time, this created and emphasized many mental/emotional/spiritual health issues for me. I didn’t much like myself – in part because I lost my truest self among the various masks I wore.
And I know I’m not the only one who has gone through this or something like it.
When I chose to integrate all the variations of my “self” that I showed both to myself and the world outside of me, more and more I became my truest self. I found that in doing so, it became easier to find balance and to center myself.
However – because change is the one and only constant in the universe – my truest self changes as I grow, learn, and experience life.
To find and be your truest self, all you need to do is employ active, conscious awareness – mindfulness.
Mindfulness – and why it’s positive
Mindfulness is a product of the here and now. It only works in the present – but it provides the answer to who, what, where, how, and why you are.
To access mindfulness, all you need to do is ask and answer – here and now – questions like,
- What am I thinking?
- What am I feeling?
- How am I feeling?
- What are my intentions?
- What am I doing?
Since the answers to these questions can only be products of the now – you become actively, consciously aware. And that active conscious awareness shows you your truest self.
Finding and being your truest self allows you to be centered, balanced, and genuine. That will do wonders for your mental/emotional/spiritual health, wellness, and wellbeing.
What’s more, that allows you to look towards the positive end of the spectrum. This matters because positivity is more empowering than negativity. And that opens you to greater self-awareness, and the ability to work with and control elements of change.
We are far more powerful than most of us realize. Putting on different masks to show different selves for the sake of acceptance is actually disempowering. Why? Because we’re not being entirely authentic, both towards others and ourselves.
Being your truest self will drive some people away. But it will also draw people in – people who prefer you for yourself. Your truest self. That’s empowering – and hugely positive. It opens you to potential, possibilities, and living a life that is genuine for you.
There’s a lot of contentment, and potential joy and happiness in that. That’s something utterly worthwhile to me. How about you?
Being your truest self isn’t hard
It’s all about working with mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, and intentions to direct your actions.
When you work on being your genuine, authentic, truest self, you become more whole – and find it easier to navigate life – because you aren’t altering how you present yourself depending on who you are with. Knowing that your truest self is authentic and genuine – even though it might push some away – it is more real, better for your health, wellness, and wellbeing, and opens all sorts of positive potential and possibilities.
This empowers you – and in turn, your empowerment can empower others around you.
Taking an approach to positivity and negativity – from the vast cylinder that exists between them – shifts life in a way to open more dialogue. With a broader dialogue, you can explore and share where you are between the extremes and how that impacts you here and now.
Choosing thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions for yourself employs an approach and attitude of positivity for realizing amazing potential and possibilities for your life.
The better aware you are of yourself in the now, the more you can do to choose and decide how your life experiences will be. When that empowers you, it can spread to those around you to their empowerment.
Thank you for coming along on this journey.
This is the four hundred-and-ninety-ninth entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.
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