Positivity Empowers Everyone
But beware of toxic positivity.
I strive to be optimistic and positive.
Because I am human – and I have good days and bad days – I don’t always get it right. There are days it’s hard to get out of bed and face what’s coming. They’re not frequent, but they happen. Further, things can and do occur during a given day where you might get thrown off your game.
Just over seven years ago, I get onto Facebook on a Monday morning – and I was bombarded by negativity. General lamentations about another Monday, work, school, dealing with people, and all kinds of negative posts. It was disheartening and unfortunate.
That was why I decided, every Monday, to write about positivity. Over the past 7 years of writing about this topic, my take and approach to it have shifted some. But more than that, I’ve seen how empowering positivity can be.
Negativity tends to disempower. Why? Because it causes you to feel things like hopelessness, sadness, depression, distress, and other down feelings that make you feel like you have no strength. All your power is non-existent or otherwise useless.
Positivity is positive. Positive is a state of power that speaks of good. Hence, positivity empowers. And it empowers everyone.
BUT – that doesn’t mean it doesn’t get abused in the process.
Toxic positivity
Toxic positivity is the notion that positivity can be used to negate, erase, and otherwise disregard negativity. It’s borne of the idea that if you think ONLY positive, good thoughts – you can steer clear of the bad, negative thoughts – and all will be well.
That’s simply not true.
Why? Because you need the bad just as much as you need the good.
The Universe is full to bursting of polar opposites. Black/white, up/down, fat/thin, short/tall, on/off, positive/negative, good/bad, and the like. What’s more, these opposites do not have the thinness of a coin’s width between them. There’s a broad cylinder of colors and grays between these opposites.
Hence, the notion that seeing positivity only and disregarding any negativity is unhealthy. To know good, you have to know bad. And nobody lives all positivity all the time. NOBODY.
Human beings have good, bad, and indifferent days. Shit happens that will be awful in the midst of an otherwise positive experience. You can’t make the negativity go away by ignoring and disregarding it. In fact, doing so tends to make it worse.
Any feeling you experience is yours to control. You have the power to take responsibility for how you feel. When you do that it empowers you. When you don’t it disempowers you. In time, you will have to deal with it – or else it will probably overwhelm, blindside, or otherwise interfere with your life.
The notion that a positive attitude/mindset/focus should be absolute and with no acknowledgment of negativity is toxic. It is unrealistic to believe bad things don’t happen or that you can pretend them away. You can’t. That’s not how life works.
Consciousness creates reality. Confront your consciousness and you empower creation. Ignore it and it will place obstacles, roadblocks, and problems in your path.
Only you can empower you
While there are lots of sources of information and inspiration – nobody but you can empower you.
That’s because you’re the only one inside your head. Your mind, body, and soul are all controlled by only you.
It’s easy to believe that other people can make you do things, influence you, and otherwise think and act on your behalf. But they can’t. Even if you give them that kind of power – they’re only capable because you have made them so.
Empowerment is recognition of your own power. It’s realizing your ability to consciously create reality, manifest the life you desire, and to be, do, and have life as you desire to develop it. But when it comes to empowerment, you are the car and you have the only set of keys.
Empowerment begins with mindfulness. Mindfulness is awareness of your conscious self, here and now. To be aware of your conscious self – your mindset/headspace/psyche inner being – you begin by being aware of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.
Yes, I write this a LOT. But I do so because repetition is how you build habits – whether tangible or intangible. You must practice this regularly to use it effectively. Because thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions are ever-changing – you can’t just do it one time and be done. It’s a constant question to be addressed to put yourself into an aware, conscious state.
Awareness and consciousness is empowerment. It’s turning the key and starting the car. From there, you determine where to drive it.
I can sit in the passenger seat and navigate for you – but you’re the one doing the driving and making the decisions. You are the only one thus empowered.
Negativity disempowers
Straight to the point – negativity disempowers you. Why? Because when you are feeling down, blue, low, sad, angry, depressed, or otherwise not good – you lose drive, desire, and energy. Feeling negativity disempowers because it causes you to lose the desire to do much of anything at all.
I know that when I have a bout with depression I haven’t the will to do much of anything. Even regular tasks like showering and brushing my teeth feel like monumental struggles. Working on writing and editing or anything else empowering? No, thanks.
Negativity disempowers because it’s like the six-fingered man from The Princess Bride’s machine. It sucks the life out of you incrementally. The more negativity, you have the more it sucks from you. It gets to the point where the disempowerment is virtually literal.
You have the final say
You have the power to take responsibility for both your thoughts AND your feelings. Even when outside influences make you think and feel a certain way – you can choose to change them.
This is the other reason why toxic positivity is toxic. Ignoring or disregarding negativity in favor of positivity yields control. You can’t alter or change it if you don’t control it and simply ignore, disregard, neglect, or pretend it doesn’t exist.
Like throwing blame – it’s disempowering. Because when you are not responsible or accountable for it – you yield control of it.
Any given day, you can be empowered. When faced with negativity and feeling disempowered – you can take back control over it. Mindfulness is frequently the starting point of that process.
No matter who you are, where you come from, or what your past is like – you are worthy and deserving of finding, feeling, and/or creating positivity. The process of doing so empowers you – and when you feel empowered you tend to also empower others.
I know it doesn’t always feel like this is real. But it is. See the bad, acknowledge it, and then use your power to control, change, and alter it whatever way you can.
Positivity is empowering. And it empowers everyone.
Being empowered by positivity isn’t hard
It begins mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.
Knowing that you are the only one that can empower you – and that negativity is disempowering – you get to choose and decide for yourself what you think and what and how you feel. When you are responsible and accountable for your thoughts and feelings, you can work on releasing the negativity and instead focus on seeking and/or creating positivity. That ultimately empowers you.
When you feel empowered, your mindfulness increases, you become more aware overall, and that gets reflected and can spread to people around you. This creates a feedback loop of awareness and positivity.
You build more positive feelings and discover further reasons to feel positivity and gratitude. That can be the impetus to improve numerous aspects of your life for the better, help overcome the overwhelming negativity of any current situation, and generate yet more positivity and gratitude. You are worthy and deserving of all the good you desire.
An attitude of gratitude is an attitude of pure positivity. That positivity can generate even greater positive energies – and that, like you, is always worthwhile.
This is the three-hundred and sixty-sixth entry of my Positivity series. It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.
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