Pathwalking 64
The past two posts have been discussing the topic of failure. This week, I want to take an in-depth look at the most important aspect of handling failure – how to let it go, learn from it, and continue along the path.
As we have discussed prior – failure is NOT a bad thing. Failure is a lesson either great or small that causes us to alter our path.
Some of the greatest achievements in history have come about due to a failure. Many inventions were an accident, a failure of the intent set out. But more importantly than that – failure has often been the greatest driving force in anyone’s successes.
There are any number of successful business people, politicians, inventors who have related stories of failure driving them towards greater success. Rather than let circumstances destroy their plans, take them off their paths, they allowed for a change, allowed for the mistakes made, and persevered. And in time, they succeeded.
I know that nobody WANTS to fail. As we’ve discussed prior, society has come to associate failure with a loss of worth, with being undeserving. The point I need to get across, and this is not just for you, but for me to remember too, is that failure does not make me any less than I am. It just means I need to make a change.
I have chosen a path. I am making my way along it, as I believe is appropriate and necessary. But then, I find something greater than a bump, a twist, a shift in the path or an obstacle. I find a game changer. I encounter something small that tells me the means I am using to take this path need to change. Or I encounter something large, forcing me to alter the path fairly drastically.
The what of this is a matter of semantics, and thus not very important. No, I am not dismissing the significance of something that makes you completely change or chart a new path, I am merely trying to show that size does not matter, a failure great or small can be dealt with in the same manner.
I have identified the problem. I know why, how, and where I failed. I have to take a deep breath now, accept this, and move past it. I failed. But just because I failed, I am not a lesser person than I was before I was doing whatever I failed at.
And that is the key to letting it go. You cannot dwell on the why and how of your failure, you simply have to identify it, accept it, and then MOVE ON. Yes, this is very much easier said than done – in especial when we receive so many messages telling us that failure is unacceptable. Truth is – failure is inevitable – so we might as well accept it.
Why did I fail? There is ALWAYS a lesson in failure. Maybe I was really attempting something larger and more expansive than I envisioned, and I need to scale back initially. Maybe I zigged when I should have zagged. Maybe I chose the wrong time of year. No matter what the reason is, there IS a reason, and as such, a lesson to be learned. And this is extremely important.
The lesson a failure teaches us often will reveal what we will need to succeed. The lesson we learn from our failure will allow us to succeed. Maybe more than that, it will allow us to succeed beyond our original intent.
Letting go of the given failure, and then learning from it will show us that it is NOT the end of the world. We are not lacking in worthiness, our dreams and aspirations and choices are not all for naught. A failure simply means we needed to learn something, we needed to stumble before we could walk with the utmost confidence and conviction.
“If at first you don’t succeed, try try again.” This phrase is probably familiar to everyone. And it is totally aimed at how to handle failure. Do something else. Make another attempt. Do not let failure stop you from choosing and walking your path.
“Fall seven times, stand up eight.” – Japanese proverb.
Just because we may have choosen badly does not mean we should not choose at all. Quite the contrary – we just need to learn lessons from the choices we make, and choose better next time. Pathwalking is not easy. I say that a lot. But it is about choice, and choosing for ourselves really beats having others make life choices for us. I can direct my fate, control my destiny. I have free will, I can choose my own path.
Even when I fail, I can let it go after it happens, learn from it, and move on. This will work differently for different people. But for everyone, failure need not be devastating.
The next time you fail, remember these steps, and hopefully what you will gain will be far more worthwhile than what you have lost.
This is the sixty-fourth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Thank you for joining me.
Follow me here!
