Pathwalking 63
Let’s take a closer look at accepting that failure will happen.
We all receive so many messages expressing how negative failure is, how horrid it can be, that we cannot come to accept failure can happen.
But it will. Plain and simple. Harsh though this statement is, it is unavoidable – you will fail. I will fail. In some way, failure will happen.
It might be grand, it might be miniscule, but whenever you set out to do something, there is a chance that it will fail. The only way to not fail is to not do anything at all. Of course, choosing to not make a choice might be considered a failure, depending on your point of view.
The meaning and scope of failure could be an endless cycle, but my point is that failure cannot be avoided. However – failure is not necessarily a bad thing.
Let me just reiterate this point – failure may not be a bad thing!
That said, let’s explore what to do about it, and how to deal with it.
So, why did we fail? Was it an inherent flaw in our plan, or the execution of the plan, or something else? Did I fail due to something within or outside of my control? Was it a total failure, or a partial failure?
Failure is going to mean different things. Maybe what I am considering a failure is actually just a lesson I needed to learn. Maybe this was just showing me I need to alter the course of my path, either a little or a lot. Maybe this was actually completely unimportant in the grand scheme of things, and that is why it failed. Ascertaining the why will help me understand the reason for the failure.
Knowing the why, we get to the how. How did this fail? This is usually tied directly into the why of the failure, but getting a clear picture shows me just what failed, and what that failure means to my overall path.
I know why and how I failed, now what do I do about it, and how do I deal with it? This might be the hardest part. I have been given all these messages telling me that if I have failed, I am unworthy. I should hang my head in shame, hide myself from the world, and sulk because I have failed.
This could not be further from the truth! I set forth on a Path. I made a choice. Just because I have failed along the way does not mean I am unworthy, or that I should berate myself for even trying. Life is all about choice, and I chose something. Knowing precisely what failed, there is a good chance I only have to choose a new course along the path. Maybe the path I was on needed to be changed, and this failure will help me ultimately get where I want to go.
Worst case scenario – my Path had failed. I have to totally start again, and choose a wholly new path because that which I was on has failed. We all make mistakes, we all make choices that prove to be poor, even outright bad. But like everything in life, these are learning opportunities.
What did failing teach me? That is the question that will tell me how to deal with my failure. In every success, in every failure, there is a lesson learned. Sometimes it is seemingly insignificant, and other times it will change the very way in which I make choices and handle my life. This, however, is the key to dealing with it: learning from it.
What do I do about it, how do I deal with a failure? Once you accept that failure is a possibility, you need to not let it make you feel unworthy, work on taking it more as a lesson than as a loss, and then learn from it.
This can be really, really hard. NOBODY wants to fail. And no matter how much you might be willing to accept the probability that failure can and will happen, not letting it have a negative emotional affect on you is hard to fathom. When all the messages tell us failure can only be negative, how can it be so unavoidable?
Oh look – yet another paradox in life.
This week we’ve explored the acceptance of failure, what to do about it, and how to deal with it. This topic is far more expansive than I had anticipated, and so it will be continued.
Next week I will take an in-depth look at the most important aspect of handling failure – how to let it go, learn from it, and continue along my path.
Do you understand why failure is not necessarily a negative?
This is the sixty-third entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Thank you for joining me.
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