Pathwalking 50
Confidence is important to Pathwalking.
This is not to be confused with competence. That’s necessary to many skills one may employ in the process of Pathwalking, but what I want to get into here is confidence.
Confidence does not come easy for a lot of people. We often feel that the way others judge us has a pretty major effect on what we are doing with our lives. But the harshest judge of our confidence is usually ourselves.
If I am unsure, uncertain, and hesitant, it should come as no surprise that I will be unable to achieve the desired result of anything I am setting my mind to. If I am not focused, if I am not sure, certain, and willing to press without hesitation, I will not get very far on any path. And what that boils down to is confidence.
Pathwalking is about making choices. I see the path, I choose the path, I walk the path. If I see multiple paths, certainly I can take a moment to examine them before I choose, but a choice must be made. I make the choice, I walk that path. There may be pauses and bumps and twists and turns as discussed previously, but I walk the path I have chosen.
How I carry myself along my path is going to make a big difference in what I can gain. If I am traveling my path hesitantly, ambiguously, uncertainly…then I leave myself subject to second-guessing and discouragement and in all probability I will lose my path and be left in an undesirable state of mind.
Henry David Thoreau famously said, “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.” That is more or less an explanation of Pathwalking in its simplest terms. The path you choose is in the direction of living the life you have always wanted. And making that choice confidently is deeply important.
A lot of people look outside of themselves to feel confident. But that’s not real confidence…that is validation. Confidence comes from within, not from without. No one but you can make you feel confident. Seeking out a feeling of confidence from others is really seeking validation of your own confidence.
Like any emotion, I am in direct control of my feelings. Of course there are triggers, and outside influences that will affect how I feel. But I alone can determine how long I will hold onto the way something might make me feel, versus the way I want to feel. Confidence works precisely the same.
Accepting the judgment of others will not make you feel confident. More likely, it will make you feel less than confident, it will make you feel like you should be or have or give or do more. You have to choose to feel confident. And there are, I am learning, some very simple ways of bringing about the feeling of confidence.
Do you stand tall, or do you slouch? Do you walk with a purposeful stride, or do you shamble or shuffle along? Do you speak soft and meek, or in a confident, strong tone? Do you sit slumped, or back straight? Do you breathe shallowly or deeply? All of these physical attributes can have a direct effect on your feeling of confidence.
If you stand straight, walk with purpose, speak in an appropriate tone and breathe deeply, it is hard not to draw a sense of confidence to yourself. If this is not how you carry yourself regularly, try it and see.
A note of caution, though. Be careful that confidence does not get overblown into cockiness. I think this is actually where I have sometimes backed down from my own confidence, in order to avoid becoming or being perceived as cocky. How can you tell the difference? This is where competence comes into play.
Competence is skillfulness. I am a writer. I am confident in my skill as a writer. However, I know I have limitations. I know I may need an editor, and I know that I might need to revise my work. I know that my first pass at something may need to be altered. But I am no less confident in my competence as a writer. However, if I thought myself so great a writer as to never need an editor, that I don’t ever need to make revisions, or that I can do no wrong and make no mistakes in my craft…that’s cockiness.
The difference between confidence and cockiness is simple – do I still ask questions or just presume I know it all? The former is confidence…the latter is cockiness.
I am a Pathwalker. I have chosen to walk a path, and I am confident in myself, and in my choice. I know there are still questions, I know there will be issues along the way…but I would rather make my choices than let choices be made for me. I am confident that I know myself…and that is why I choose Pathwalking.
Do you feel confident about yourself?
This is the fiftieth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Thank you for joining me.
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