Pathwalking 27

Independence is one of the primary reasons to walk one’s own path.

The best definition from Dictionary.com for independence is freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others.

This is one of the main reasons to choose to walk our own path.  We want to be free, we want to be independent, we want to ultimately be in control of our own fate, our own destiny.  Sometimes winning that independence is easy.  But sometimes it is an epic battle, akin to either the Revolutionary War, or the movie Independence Day.

Part of the issue with this definition is the freedom from support, aid, or the like of others.  One of the downsides to walking your own path is that some people will not be supportive of your efforts.  There are people who will deride your choice, refuse to assist you, give you no help, no encouragement, and if they do opine, it will more often than not be negative.

Why is this the case?  I believe there are a couple reasons that choosing independence sparks this reaction.  Sometimes it’s because your choice is so foreign to those normally supportive of you, they simply do not know how to offer support.  Sometimes it’s a matter of not providing aid in the hopes that you will abandon your effort, and resume taking a part of the status quo.  More often than not, it is not a malicious inaction…it’s just a matter of these outsiders not knowing how to be supportive of Pathwalking.

Sometimes it is jealousy.  Jealousy that you are choosing, and more, acting to walk your own path.  Many of the people who respond in this manner are those who may have aided and supported you in past endeavors – but cannot in this one. “I’d do that…if I could.”  “If I didn’t have so many responsibilities, I’d make that kind of choice.”  “How can you get away with doing this?” 

As social creatures, we often seek out support, encouragement, and acceptance from others.  But Pathwalking is about choosing independence, and an unfortunate price of this choice is that some people, unable to understand, unable to accept, cannot offer these things.

This can frustrate the strongest person.  We all want those we care about to be supportive of our choices.  But some people cannot understand this, at least not in the way that those of us making such a choice do.  They see this as maybe selfish on our part, or irresponsible, or otherwise wrong…because it is not the ‘normal’.  It is different, it is unique…it is a very specific idea, a very specific choice.

I have chosen to live the life I want to live.  I know that it is not ‘normal’ by most people’s definitions.  And I get questions in tones that imply from friends and family a lack of approval.  But I am not, in choosing my own path, harming anyone.  I am not causing financial or physical burdens on anyone else.  And any emotional issues are beyond my control (so how I make someone ELSE feel is not something I can do anything about).  So while it may not be understood, my choice of independence, and walking my own path, is mine and mine alone.

It can be hard to feel the reactions of others, the lack of support, the seeming disapproval.  But the question I have to ask is – who’s life is it anyways?  It is MY life, MY path, my choices.  And maybe some of these are mistakes – but I am more content with my existence than I have been in a long time, and I count that as a win.  I count that as proof that this IS the correct action for me to take.

Sometimes that lack of support is disheartening, and sometimes it feels hurtful, or spiteful.  But we just need to remember why we have chosen this, focus on the path we are walking, and make our way along the journey, keeping the ultimate destination in mind.

Pathwalking IS independence. Independenceof thought, freedom of action.  And with any freedom, there is a price to be paid.  But that price is small, by comparison to the reward.  And no matter how alone you may be feeling, you are not alone in this choice.  You are not the only one choosing to walk your own path.

I am a Pathwalker.  And even if I do not know you – I will aid, support, and in whatever manner I can, be there for you.  Just as I suspect, by reading these words and following along in this journey, you are a form of support for me, too.

This is the twenty-seventh entry in my series.  These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.  Thank you for joining me.