Pathwalking 255
What do you do when you reach a dead end on the path you’re traversing?
This doesn’t happen too often, but from time to time you may find that the path you are on has not only forked, but actually ended unexpectedly.
Why? How does a chosen path simply come to an end? The universe works in mysterious ways. You get laid off from the job where you were seeking that promotion; or you wreck your knee and need to get surgery; or your house burns down; or some other, utterly unpredictable matter occurs and the path you were on becomes moot.
So what do you do? What keeps you from giving up on trying to walk your chosen path and just giving in and letting life live you?
Perseverance is needed. I have stated before that we have more than one path in this life. Further, we are often on multiple paths at the same time. Just because a chosen path has become a dead end doesn’t mean we should give up on Pathwalking. It just means that we need to rethink our position and consider where to go from there.
Maybe the path you have chosen is too specific. For example, that promotion at your job. Yes, it may come with a big raise and more vacation time and other perks, but what if instead of focusing on that promotion you focused on the bigger picture. A better job with more money and other perks. When you limit the vision to narrow focus, like a promotion at your current job, instead of opening the way to wider possibility, you might inadvertently set yourself up to hit that dead end.
Change is scary. Small changes are less scary, but still disconcerting. We as a species are huge fans of comfort. Soft clothes, warm rooms, the touch of loved ones, the old familiar things. This is part of why we sometimes get caught up in a fervor for the past, in especial when we remember it as more perfect than it was, or even idealize it as something that we don’t realize never existed.
Thus when we reach a dead end, it’s tempting to retrace our steps. The thing is, we need to always keep moving forward. You can’t undo what is done, you can’t rebuild what has transpired in the past, you have to focus on the now and keep moving forward.
This is another reason why we might encounter a dead end: We get so narrowly focused on the end result that we miss signs in the here and now. This is almost literally ignoring the “detour” and “road closed ahead” signs along the path, until you reach that dead end and wonder how and why you got there. If you had been more aware of your surroundings and the here-and-now, you may have been prepared to change your path, or to plan alternatives.
Rather than turn around and retrace our steps, it is best if we reach that dead end to pause. Get clear on where you are, right at the moment of reaching that end. Look for the positive in why this path is closed to you. Figuratively, maybe there was a cliff because the bridge you intended to cross is out, and you might have walked right over the edge were it not a dead end.
Literally, maybe the company you have been working for is doing some less-than-legal things, and getting promoted and remaining there means you may have gone down with the ship when they were investigated by a federal agency. Maybe damaging your knee now prevented you from a far more serious and irreparable injury. Maybe the house may have burned to the ground in the middle of the night, with you and your family within it.
It is often hard to see the good in these situations, in especial when you were anticipating the win that was the end of the path. Why did this happen to me? How did I miss it? You begin the rounds of remorse, self-recrimination, self-pity, and other negative feelings that of course don’t serve you.
It is very tempting to go back, retrace your steps, and try to figure out what went wrong. I acknowledge that it’s healthy to analyze the how of your situation, but often we wind up backtracking, and possibly trying the same thing again, but from a slightly different angle.
If you find yourself at a dead end, you need to get as totally into the present as you can. Focus on the here and now, focus on your breathing and your thoughts and feelings, and consider what you want. Why did you choose this path? What was the goal? Was the goal too narrow? Did you focus so tightly that you missed the signs? What are your options? What new paths can you choose to explore?
I’m sure it comes as no surprise that this is easier said than done. We want to know and understand the how and the why of our dead-ended path. This is not necessarily a bad thing to explore, but you need to avoid getting caught up in it to the exclusion of seeking and starting along a new path.
Last, but not least, let’s talk about the outside influences and the matters beyond our control. We really only have control of our own individual lives. I alone am accountable for my actions, my thoughts, and my feelings. Though at times outside influences can “make” us do and feel and think things, we still choose to allow that. The truth is that when all is said and done, this is wholly ours, and ours alone.
The dead end may be the result of an outside matter beyond my own control, but I, and I alone, can think about it, understand my feelings in regards to my situation, and take action to move beyond it.
There are ALWAYS paths available to us. Sometimes they come easily, and sometimes they require more thought and exploration. But we are never without options.
What will you do if your path comes to a dead end?
GOAL LOG – Week 45:
The goal log has not been maintained over the last week and a half or so. I am remedying this currently. Stay tuned.
This is the two-hundred fifty-fifth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas and my personal experiences in walking along the path of life. I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way.
Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-blog and share.
The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.
If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.
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