Pathwalking 219
Anger is a fascinating subject.
I have a lot of anger in me. Some is, at least as far as I am concerned, completely rational and likely justified. Some, however, is old, long ignored, semi-forgotten…but still there.
While fear is probably the biggest obstacle I face as I walk my path, anger is a close second.
I have not written much about anger before because I work very hard to keep my anger in check.
Unfortunately, that does not release it. That just redistributes it elsewhere.
Yoda said it well. “Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.”
The connection between fear and anger is easy to disregard, but it is still problematic nonetheless. I am realizing that I have to release my anger in some form or other, because much like my fear, it cripples me.
As with fear, I am not saying that we can and should be without anger. Anger is a natural experience, and we are all going to get angry at times for different reasons. It’s important to not deny the feeling, but equally important to do something about it. Holding on to it does not get us anywhere useful, and generally worsens the feeling.
Hard to avoid the current election insanity in the United States. There is so much fear and anger being wielded like forks and spoons at a banquet that it’s just become accepted that this is how we should feel. It is hard not to look at it and be disturbed by it.
We get mixed signals when it comes to fear and anger. We’re expected to hold onto them, to let them dictate our actions and influence our choices. The thing is, both fear and anger tend to rob us of rational thought.
How do you let go of anger?
This is the question I am looking into here. I am very surprised just how much anger I am holding onto. Some is recent events, some is based on expectation of future events, and some is old, old stuff from the distant past. I never really explored the depths of my anger, and didn’t realize just how tied in with my fear it actually is.
The what of my anger is not important to this discussion. The important aspect of this is acknowledging that I have this pent up anger, and that I really need to figure out how to let it go.
One of the reasons this is as pent up as it is goes back to my past. I used to release my anger in some relatively unhealthy ways. I feel it important to point out here that I was never abusive to anyone, but inanimate objects were known to get tossed around. I smashed a couple cordless phones. I punched a few walls. I used to rage at traffic (and sometimes I still do, actually). I would get VERY loud and very threatening.
I don’t like this about myself. So I worked on means to calm myself. Meditation, redirection, finding ways to keep my anger in check. What I am realizing now is that while I have for the most part not reacted to my anger as I used to, I am bottling it up more than I realized. As such it is causing me as much anxiety and dis-ease as any fears I contend with.
I need to find an outlet to release my anger.
These are the options I am going to be exploring.
Write it out. I need to accept the things that have been, are, and will be making me feel angry. That’s first. Once I accept this, I should sit down and type out in detail what I am angry about. Shout via the keyboard, rage, release. Angry letters written to people I feel wronged by, angry rants about these issues. FOR ME. These should not be shared, because this is wholly my own issue. But putting words to it should draw it out. Might need to print this and burn it or tear it to shreds to release it.
Shout it out. Primal screaming can be really useful. I can find somewhere I can scream and rage until my throat is raw and I feel spent. I can go into an entire rant to myself about the things angering me to get them out of my system. Again, this is something to be done on my own, but I think it would go a long ways towards getting this negativity from my system. The important thing is to verbalize to release. Probably best done when I am all alone in a safe environment.
Run it out. I need to do something physical specifically to release my anger. Might need a punching bag. Might need to run at the gym. Might need to skip rocks off a lake. Might need to swing a sword around and drive out the anger. Anything that will release this pent-up emotion and let me move forward. Physical action specifically to clear away anger can be done.
Anger cannot be avoided, it should not be denied. But it should not be allowed to simmer and linger and fester because then you wind up down the line with issues that will make any path you are trying to traverse more complicated. Anger, like fear, is a destructive negative emotion that we need to experience, but we also need to release as soon as we can to make way for constructive positive emotions.
I have some work to do.
How do you cope with anger?
GOAL LOG – Week 9:
Diet: I am still tracking what I am eating daily. I really need to be more conscious of my choices.
Exercise: Fencing happened, got to the gym twice and broke out the Wii Fit one day. I still need to increase my exercise routine.
Writing: Five days of writing. Goal reached.
Meditation: I spent no less than 3 minutes meditating three days last week. It’s a start.
Now I need to work on using the goal log to improve my choices and get into the shape I want to be in.
This is the two-hundred nineteenth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas and my personal experiences in walking along the path of life. I share this journey as part of my personal desire to make a difference in this world along the way.
Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-blog and share.
The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.
If you enjoy Pathwalking, you may also want to read my Five Easy Steps to Change the World for the Better.
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