Pathwalking 17
Probably the single greatest obstacle to Pathwalking is fear.
FDR famously said “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” Yoda stated that, “Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.” And in Dune, Frank Herbert gave us the Litany against Fear: “I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
When it comes to walking one’s path, in all likelihood the single greatest obstacle is fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of the reaction of others. Fear of ridicule. Fear of failure. Fear of success.
We are constantly presented with choices. Every action and inaction on our part will have an effect on our life. Some of these choices are simple – wear the blue pants or the black? Button-down or polo shirt? Chinese or a deli sandwich for lunch? Some choices are more complicated – this job, or that? Do I go on the date? Do I drive down that unfamiliar road?
The simpler and less far-reaching the decision, the less concern making a choice will generate. But for really big decisions – buying a house, proposing marriage, taking a new job – there is a palpable fear. And that fear can be so overwhelming, we choose either not to act, or we let the fear choose our path for us.
I am a victim of this problem. (And by victim, I mean of my own making). I sometimes have stood before a choice, and when faced with the options before me, either made no choice – or chose the familiar, and went on letting my life live me, and took no risk. Rather than take the chance and see what new challenge might be before me, I cowered in the familiar, and allowed life to just happen around me.
I didn’t really do everything that was necessary for me to pursue a career related to my college experience because I preferred the less risky, more comfortable stability of the friendships I had built. Rather than go to NYC and attempt to immerse myself in theatre; or Podunk, Iowa to take a radio DJ job, I chose to remain in my comfort zone, close to friends – even though this presented me no career opportunities.
I also chose to take comfort in those friendships, and the nest I would build myself, and took no major risks that might upset my place in that world. I stagnated…and continued to move forward as the universe paced me. Life was living me.
Then one day my life was forever changed (see Pathwalking 8 for the story). And for the first time, I well and truly chose to take control, in order to recover as I felt I must. I accepted no limitations, no possibility of failure, no fear. And for the first time since leaving high school, I walked a path I was choosing.
Years have passed since that time. And I have flirted with this process. Sometimes I am the ultimate champion of walking my path. But all too often, I am in need of all the things I have written about in this pathwalking series.
Why? The primary issue, the main distraction, the premier obstacle has been FEAR.
I am not afraid of much, on the surface. When it comes to tangibles, I am fearless. But what I do fear are tremendous intangibles: failure, success, abandonment, ridicule, disappointment, love, loathing, loneliness. I fear both feeling and not feeling emotions. I fear disappointing both myself and those I care about.
There, I’ve said it. My own primary obstacle to this whole concept of Pathwalking is fear. Despite all I have known, all I continue to learn and experience, I am in a constant struggle to overcome and silence my intangible fears.
How do I overcome the fear? That is the question. Identifying the fear is the first step in overcoming it. The challenge after that is to deal with it, move past it, and overcome it. And that will be the next Pathwalking topic.
What do YOU fear?
This is the seventeenth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Thank you for joining me.
Follow me here!
