Pathwalking 132
I have often written about how important emotion is to Pathwalking.
You cannot simply choose to think through what you want to manifest in your life, you have to feel it. If you cannot put the feeling behind the thought, and then add corresponding action, you will more-or-less turn about in a circle.
It is an absolute necessity that you not only think and take action to choose your path, but you also feel your way along it. If you do not put the feeling energy behind your thought and action, your path will be particularly difficult.
I know that I am making the same point multiple times, but there is a very personal reason why that is the case. I am currently dealing with a single, overwhelming emotion: anger. Multiple situations in my personal life have come up recently that are leading to my emotional state being dominated by anger.
I have stated previously that you cannot only have positive, good emotions. Negative, bad emotions are necessary because there has to be a balance. Life is too complex and too multifaceted to not have both extremes, and the majority of our time is spent somewhere between them.
I have also reiterated more than once that we are in control of our emotions. That does not mean that we are machines capable of making a change to our emotional state at the flip of a switch. What it does mean is that we can choose whether to hold onto an emotion, or to let it go.
Some emotions are more powerful than others. Or rather, they FEEL more powerful. Anger is a very powerful emotion. Authors frequently use anger in fantasy to channel energy, sometimes for good but more often than not for bad (I’m thinking Harry Dresden versus Darth Vader, here). Anger can be particularly overwhelming, in especial when it is directed outside of ourselves. It can easily dominate our senses, and from anger a lot more negativity can be built.
For me, the one emotion I have had the easiest time tapping into has been anger. I have spent years learning how to cope with and let anger pass through, and not overwhelm me when I feel it. I have put a great deal of effort into taking control of this powerful emotion, and finding outlets to vent so that I do not yell and scream, throw things, or punch walls (all things I was notorious for in my youth). I have found more productive, less destructive means to pass my anger.
There are multiple situations happening in my life right now that are making me angry. For the first time in many years, I am finding that anger is dominating my actions, my thoughts, and my emotions. What’s more, I am angry over situations that I have little to no control over.
It builds up, too. It starts from multiple small incidents, then gradually builds to bigger issues, and greater problems, and then whole life situations involving other people. It is partially a matter of outside influence and control, but also a matter of misunderstanding between us. What’s more, I am not seeing how I can resolve these matters before they might get even uglier.
It is important to acknowledge that I am angry. If I don’t, and I let it build up without release, I will return to my old, bad habits and start destroying things (walls, inanimate objects, my voice, etc). That, in turn, will add being angry at myself for losing control…and you can see how this can snowball into a large, difficult to escape downward spiral. I would very much like to avoid that happening.
So, what do I do now? Just putting this out here has been cathartic. I find that the more I put these thoughts into written form, the less my hands are shaking and the more calm I am feeling. One major problem with anger dominating one’s emotional state is that rationale is difficult to claim. That is why you have to acknowledge and find healthy ways to vent anger – in order to seek rational, reasoned decision, rather than acting in the heat of the moment and possibly taking regrettable actions.
I am walking a path that I have chosen. It is flawed, it has a large number of bumps and twists and turns and unexpected detours, but it is my path. I do not have to stay this path, I can choose another. I have to remember that. This is my journey, my experience, and I can make of it what I choose.
I acknowledge that I have run into obstacles along my path that are angering me. I am faced with a choice about how to deal with these. I can let them fester and bubble and boil over…or I can find release for them, and start thinking about how to move forward in the most constructive manner. The former is easier than the latter, but I am still at the point where I remember what happens when I let the former win this debate, and how much worse that makes me feel. I believe that I can choose the latter, and take positive, useful steps forward from here.
There are times when a single emotion will dominate our paths. Sometimes that is a positive emotion, sometimes it is a negative one. It is important, to continue along your path, or even to choose a new path, to recognize the need to restore balance, and to keep moving forward.
Easier said than done. You are reading my words here, and seeing a portion of the action I am taking to regain my perspective. Like you, I am glad that while this path may be for me and me alone, I am never truly alone upon it. Thank you.
How do you deal with an overwhelming emotion?
This is the one-hundred thirty second entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Feel free to re-blog and share. Thank you for joining me.
The first fifty-two weeks (Year One) of installments of Pathwalking is available in print and for your Kindle.
Follow me here!
