Pathwalking 117
Sometimes The Universe just kicks you in the teeth.
There are times when no matter how hard you work, no matter how much you struggle, no matter all the good you do and all the positivity you generate, you do not win.
We have all been disappointed when our expectations were crushed. I don’t know anybody who has not experienced this. That time you got sick when you were supposed to take a great trip or that date that did not happen or the job you did not get. These things will happen, and they will take you by surprise, and they will shake your faith to its foundations.
I am constantly talking about putting forth positive energy. I am always writing about how positive begets positive, how you need to be mindful of your thoughts and how that will make your life better and happier. This is an enormous aspect of Pathwalking, and also one of its greatest challenges.
The trouble is, just because you are putting forth positive energy and positive thoughts and focus it does not mean that you will not still be saddled with negativity. Bad things can and will still happen.
I am going to share with you something very personal now. I was expecting a fairly substantial tax return from the US Government this year. I was counting on it to help me ease many expenses and allow me to get my head financially above water. I received notice that my tax return has been claimed by one of my debtors in full, and I will be receiving none of it.
Kicked in the teeth. So what do I do about it? Scream? Rant and rave? Destroy things in an uncontrolled rage? Demand justice from the Universe and curse out the Powers-that-be? Break down emotionally, mentally, physically? Sob? Whine and kvetch? Raise my fist in anger and damn the government for screwing me over?
All of these might be a release of some kind, but none of them will do me any good. I cannot change this, I cannot fight it, but I can direct it. I can choose how I will react to it. Yes, this stings a LOT, but I am not letting my disappointment defeat me. I have chosen a path, I will continue upon it, and I will accept the let-down and go on.
I believe that this is just a moment in time. This awful thing, this unfortunate disappointment. I am being shown that I can go back to who I used to be, overreact in an utterly useless way…or I can take what I have learned and go about my path despite this obstacle.
This sucks. In no uncertain terms I really needed the money I was expecting. However, I will find another way.
Here is where I am going to go hooky-spooky on this. I believe that this is the final hiccup before I realize my journey. Despite how cliché this phrase is – it is darkest before the dawn – this is that moment. This is that faith-shaking event that is the last gasp of who I USED to be attempting to overwhelm who I AM now. This is the point where I either give up, cease to believe what I know is true about my choices and despair…or I push forward, let this unwanted event pass and continue along my path.
I am amazed by my own calm. Just a couple of years ago I would have been enraged, my heart would have raced, I would have cried out and ranted about how unfair life is, how greedy the state can be, how I can never win and am always behind the eight ball. But that is who I used to be, that is not the man I am now who began Pathwalking and continues to do so.
I know that this is just a moment in time, it is not a grand conspiracy to ruin my life and make me poor. I know that this is just a bump in the road, not a sign that I am utterly wrong about what I know is true about life and the universe. And despite the hardship, the disappointment and the twinge of sadness over this I cannot help but feel…I am ok.
This is not the end of anything. This is a moment. Disappointment like this is not a sign from the Powers-that-be that you are wrong, that you have chosen poorly, or that you are undeserving. It is just one of those inevitable moments that are a reflection of past attitudes and fears. This can only divert me from choosing to walk this or some other path if I allow it to.
I have come too far to turn back. You cannot go backwards in time, you can only go forwards. I will not be brought down by this disappointment, I will not let this drive me to negative thoughts and feelings, I will sigh, say that this unfortunate, but it is what it is and I will let it go.
I would go on to tell you that this is not easy…but in truth, I am finding that it is. I know what path I want to traverse, I know what I want from my life, and I know that these things can and will happen, and I have discovered that accepting this without question feels utterly right.
This is the proof that when you control how you allow yourself to feel, you can better cope with those bad feelings and negative emotions. They happen, you acknowledge them, you feel them…but when you let them wash over you rather than hanging onto them to soak in that negativity, they have next to no power over you. I am in control here. Just as you are in control there.
Even when the Universe kicks you when you are down, you can choose whether to let it go or hold onto the negative energies. This is Pathwalking, not only choosing control over your path, your destiny and your life, but control over your emotions, which you and you alone have the power to do. Disappointment will occur, but how you feel about it and hold onto it or let it go is utterly yours to control.
I have been disappointed. It is what it is, I have accepted it and commented upon it; I let it wash over me and let it go, and I continue along my path. I have no doubt I am ok. I know you can be too.
How will you cope with your next disappointment?
This is the one-hundred seventeenth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Thank you for joining me.
The first year of Pathwalking is available in print and for your Kindle.
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