Pathwalking 116
Are you true to yourself?
Do you treat yourself in the same manner you wish to be treated by others? Do you respect yourself? Do you hold yourself in high esteem? Do you like yourself? Do you love yourself?
It never ceases to amaze me how little we ask these questions of ourselves. We are so keen to learn how those around us are doing, how our friends and family are feeling, how our coworkers are handling stress – we ignore our own needs.
Part of this is due to a great many mixed messages, telling us that if we do not give of ourselves, we do not deserve to have the good we desire. You must give to receive. You cannot be selfish.
That is the problem. We are quick to jump to accusations of selfishness. We have all thought it about someone. He’s so selfish…she is so stuck on herself. And because we do not want to be similarly judged, we strive for selflessness.
As a Pathwalker, I am working to make the life I most desire for myself. I want to choose my own path, take my own way, be true to who I am at my core. I also have to live in the real world – I have bills to pay, and various other obligations that cannot be neglected. I seek to find the balance in my life that will make me most happy, and also let me live life as fully as possible.
I have recently begun to make more time to do the things I love. As a writer, it is distressing how seldom I would take the time to work on any of my fiction projects. Months at a time went by where no words found their way from my mind to the page. In addition to that, I was only reading on a sporadic basis. Writers also need to be readers, in order to best hone their craft.
I determined that I needed to write and read daily. I began simply by choosing to take time every single day to write in one of my works of fiction and to read at least a chapter from a book. The intent with this is to build a new habit, so that I am doing this very important thing for myself. For more than a month I have succeeded in this.
Is the time I take for writing and reading every day selfish of me? Is it inappropriate that every day I am reading for my own pleasure and writing worlds that exist only in my mind? No. I am not being selfish with this act – I am being true to myself.
Part of why I need to read daily is to see the style in which other writers work. If I am reading some sort of fiction, I can see how my own work can be compared to that of others. I may even gain insight in how to better plot my story, better describe my characters and situations. Reading fictions also adds fuel to the fire of my imagination.
If I am reading a non-fiction, in all likelihood I am studying something to better my understanding of the world around me. I may well be reading something to better myself. This, too, sparks my imagination, and also gives me better insight into who I am, and who I want to be.
How do I answer my own questions I posed to you at the start of this? Am I true to myself? I certainly put a great deal of effort into this idea, but overall yes.
Do I treat myself in the same manner I wish to be treated by others? Yes. Do I respect myself? Yes. Do I hold myself in high esteem? I am working on this. I know that low self-esteem will not allow me to be happy. Do I like myself? Yes. Do I love myself? Again, a work in progress. But compared to how I felt about who I was just a few years ago, I have come a long ways. As I strive to better my dietary habits and frequency of exercise, I give myself more love for myself.
Does any of the above make me selfish? No. I believe that actual selfishness is a combination of greed, egotism, and low self-esteem. A selfish person does not give to themselves, they take for themselves. They do not get things from others, they take them. They have a tight grip upon the things they take and hold for themselves, and cannot be reached. That is what makes a selfish individual.
I give these things to myself. I also strive to give similar things to others. Whether friends and family, or strangers who might be reading these words, I want to give to others what I give to myself, and I only wish to take what is offered.
This does not mean you should not strive for an opportunity. It does not mean you should not take a chance. There are things that will be placed before you that are meant to be taken by you. You will know they are for you to take.
When you pause to ask yourself questions, you are most true to yourself. When you are most true to yourself, it is almost impossible to be selfish, because I believe that when you are true to yourself you find giving makes you far more happy than taking. When you are true to yourself I believe you will be inspired to be more true to others. I think it is kind of impossible to be selfish while being true to both yourself and others.
In conclusion, I have one question for you. Are you being true to yourself?
This is the one-hundred sixteenth entry in my series. These weekly posts are specifically about walking along the path of life, and my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Thank you for joining me.
The first year of Pathwalking is available in print and for your Kindle.
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