Knowing You Will Die, Why Won’t You Choose to Live?
Death is inevitable. Why would you neglect to choose to live while you are here?
There is a major difference between simply existing and living.
Existing is easy and can be done by rote and routine. You go about your days following the same patterns and behaviors, taking little to no joy in life and putting things off for tomorrow, after you lose 50 pounds, after your kids go to college, retirement, or some other forthcoming marker.
A marker that you might or might not reach, FYI.
No matter who you are, where you come from, or any other factors that might define you – your life will end in death.
Nobody knows what that means, of course. This conscious awareness occupying this body ends. But given energy can neither be created nor destroyed – and you and I are energy at our core – we transmute to a new form.
Given the certainty of your end – what are you waiting for? Do you make choices and decisions to choose to live – or just subsist and exist?
Nobody can choose to live in every situation
To clarify – there will be times when you’re more passive and not actively making choices to live as fully as possible.
There are going to be times when you need to just go with it and let the routine carry you along. Things happen that derail you, throw roadblocks along your path, and otherwise occur that are upsetting, scary, uncertain, and generally unhelpful.
In some situations, all you can do is wait for others or specific happenings. There are times when – to protect your mental health – you’re best just going with the flow and not doing too much active effort.
But when that is your default – and you seldom strive to live and make choices for your life – this becomes meaningless. It gets in the way of you making choices and/or decisions to do, have, and be more with this life you’re living.
It’s easy to fall into the traps of rote and routine in the name of acceptance, society, expectation, and the like. Look at how people expect you to be – what they expect you to do – and how they react to outside-the-box notions.
You have the power to choose to live or choose to just exist at all times. If you’re not content with life as you live it now – what not choose to live anew?
First, let’s address the elephant in the room.
Making choices for yourself isn’t selfish
Let’s start this by redefining selfishness. Often, selfishness gets applied to any act of the self that doesn’t take others into account.
That, however, is too broad. Many, many things you do can and will have unintended consequences where other people might wind up feeling hurt. They will accuse you of being selfish.
When that encompasses the likes of setting boundaries, saying no rather than yes to things you’d rather not do, or ending relationships – hurt can and will occur. That’s because when you choose to live for yourself, someone not you will feel that you are disregarding them and their feelings.
And maybe you are. But you cannot control the thoughts or feelings of anyone else. You only can be, have, and do, for you.
Hence, redefining selfishness to its purest form.
Selfish = taking more than your fair share with intent (malice of forethought), knowing full well that you will cause lack, scarcity, hurt, and/or harm. For example, it’s having 8 pieces of pie and 8 people, and you taking 2-3 pieces for yourself knowing that you deprive 1-2 people of pie.
Self-care and all acts that are for you, to improve your mental health and overall wellness and wellbeing, are not selfish. Someone might feel hurt and accuse you of selfishness for cutting them out – but this is not a true definition of selfishness.
This is very important to clarify, because believing the broader definition of selfishness often keeps people in rote, routine, and just merely existing rather than choosing to live.
Choose to live for you
You are the only one in your head, heart, and soul. You, and you alone, know what lights you up, turns you on, grabs your attention, and ultimately makes you content, happy, and even joyful.
Nobody else can tell you what that is. No matter who they are or how they are part of your life – they can’t choose to live for you. Only you can live for you.
Someone I know has lived their whole life in fear. They have never addressed this and are months from their death due to cancer. Their fear is causing them not to spend these precious days they have remaining choosing to live – but instead, fearing even more.
There’s nothing to be done for this person because they won’t choose to live for themselves. Despite those who care for them pleading with them to experience, make memories with those who will miss them when they are gone, and live as best they can – their fear is overcoming their reason.
They’ve never chosen to live for themselves. I know that’s harsh to say – but the truth is the truth.
You get one shot in your body, with your conscious awareness, the reality you perceive, and your head, heart, and soul. You’ve had moments that amazed, delighted, and made you feel alive before. If you are not having them now – when will you choose to live again?
Don’t be deceived
There are numerous false messages of lack, scarcity, and insufficiency bombarding you all the time.
News media, social media, politicians, religious leaders, business leaders, and various other demagogues and celebrities love to divide and conquer for their own empowerment. They create all these fake problems, overblown issues, and tell you who to blame for them.
The reality is that, when all is said and done, most people simply would choose to live. Does anyone not want to be financially stable, healthy, and content? Of course not.
What’s more, apart from professional sports – most competition isn’t real. You and I are not in competition for most material goods, and none of the immaterial.
It’s easy to buy into the deception. Why? Because fear is powerful. The unknown and uncertainty are scary. Anything outside your comfort zone is uncomfortable.
When you look closely at these messages placing blame, justifying unsupportable opinions, and shaming one group or another, you can see they’re not legitimate. They’re about creating and/or expanding false control over others.
Don’t be deceived. While there is bad out there – blame is bullshit. Almost everyone desires to live the best they can. The choice is available to all – but not all seem willing to make it. Or they don’t believe they’re worth and deserving of it.
But they are. And you are. It won’t be all the time, there will be challenges, but you always can find and/or create the opportunity to choose to live.
Will you choose life when you can do so?
This is the five hundred and ninety-seventh exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – using mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.
I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.
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