It’s Time to Walk the Talk and Be My Own Best Advocate
Talk (or writing) is cheap. Action is necessary. My best advocate is me, after all.
In 2012, I began to blog once a week.
Less than a year and a half later, it became twice a week. From there, I expanded my efforts.
I’d said for a long time that I was a writer. And I had evidence of that being true – but not sharable evidence. Blogging regularly led to writing more frequently in general, which in turn led to self-publishing.
Ten-plus years later, I blog a minimum of 4 days a week, have self-published 16 total books (¾ fiction, ¼ nonfiction), and have 4 more in one stage of editing or another.
There are also 9 books planned and plotted that I’m writing, too.
As if that’s not enough – I’m expanding my Pathwalking life philosophy to the next level, and preparing to offer a webinar/talk on the topic. I’ll be building materials to go with it, potentially offering coaching and/or classes on this process.
Here’s the problem – I am still full of doubt. When it comes to discussing my work, I tend to point out my almost-traditional employment as a part-time assistant to the incredible entrepreneur I work for – before mentioning my own product. Like I am embarrassed to admit that I have been on this nontraditional path and intend to further expand on it.
Why do I avoid being my own advocate? How come I’m afraid to walk my talk more boldly and purposefully? How do I overcome whatever it is that’s holding me back?
Giving voice to the fear disempowers it
Point blank – I’m afraid. Of what? I’m afraid that I will either fail or succeed, which will then cause the people I care about to think less of me, shun me, and ultimately abandon me. When all is said and done, I’m afraid that I’ll be utterly, completely, and totally alone.
However, I have already experienced being “abandoned” in different ways during my life. When my parents divorced, and my dad moved halfway across the country – and then I saw him maybe only 4 times a year – that was a form of being abandoned. Likewise, when I moved away from where I was and friendships changed and faded, they “abandoned” me. Also, along this line, interests changed and friends and I “abandoned” our friendships and moved on.
Why am I sharing this? To show that even when I’ve been “abandoned” I wasn’t. I do still have a relationship with my dad, still have a line on the friends of my teen years, and many of those friends I’ve moved on from either are totally forgotten or I’m still civilly acquainted with.
Further – who but I am in my head, heart, and soul? Ultimately, it’s only ever me in here. And I won’t abandon myself.
So, taking this long way around, the point is this – my fear of abandonment and the suffering that will occur from it are much, much worse than the actual experience. I won’t be broken, destroyed, or otherwise ruined in the process.
Recognizing and acknowledging this helps to disempower the fear. I’ve written it out and shared it here – and now I can look at it and see it as the powerless non-entity it truly is.
Hence why giving voice to fear is more empowering than hiding from it.
Allow me to walk the talk as I advocate for myself
What, exactly, does advocating for myself look like?
For starters, I’m going to share more of the work I’m doing for myself, rather than for others. I’m going to put more into discussing my writing, as well as where I’m working to take my Pathwalking life philosophy to the next level.
For a long time now, I’ve held back.
To be fair, part of this has been to avoid some old, bad habits of my 20s and 30s. Back then, if you hung around me for long enough, I made sure you heard me toot my own horn on the regular. If you weren’t aware of who I was and what I was doing – and how great it was – I made you aware.
That didn’t serve me well, because that sort of thing never serves anyone well. Self-aggrandizement and bragging – even innocently – come across poorly.
Though I still slip from time to time, overall, I’m much more understated and reserved than I used to be.
This is why I avoid being my own advocate, and why I’m afraid to talk more boldly and purposefully about what I’m doing. Because I don’t like how I came across when I spoke for and about myself in my younger years. I’m scared that the progress I’ve made – and the growth I’ve experienced over the last decade – will be undermined and somehow undone.
And then – when that happens, the more insidious fear of abandonment comes out.
Knowing this, however, empowers me to turn my attention towards the positive end of the spectrum, and mindfully work on being my own advocate. Conscious awareness will allow me to temper my self-advocacy to steer clear of my past missteps.
How do I overcome whatever it is that’s holding me back?
As my favorite quote by Lao Tzu says,
“The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”
You go nowhere without taking a first step. And on this journey, in particular, that first step is identifying the fear that’s been disempowering me.
Examining, recognizing, and acknowledging my fear allows me to be mindful of it. Then – via my conscious awareness – I can mindfully, actively disempower it. When I am consciously aware of my thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions, I can control what they are.
Thus, I can disregard and release the fear.
But then, I need to take another step. And that step is to trust myself.
Who I was over a decade ago isn’t who I am now. That self-aggrandizing (due to fear) loud-mouth – though not entirely gone – is not dominant. And by being mindful of that, I can control my intentions and my actions mindfully.
What does that look like? It looks like this:
- I’m an accomplished author with a dozen works of sci-fi and fantasy under my belt. There are new books I’m working on adding to my existing works – but I will need help to do that. (What that will look like is not in the scope of this article.)
- My Pathwalking life philosophy has done amazing things for my life. And I believe it can benefit others. Soon, I’ll be presenting a webinar about how anyone can use the tools I’ve created for this process. I hope to offer further talks, books, and/or coaching on this topic.
No bragging, no self-aggrandizement. Advocacy will be me marketing my brand going forward and openly sharing how it impacts more than my working life.
Walk the talk, be genuine and true
My mindfulness practices, work on positivity, and general self-encouragement and care are not just part of my work. They are part of my overall life experience.
I don’t live my life for anyone other than myself. And that’s not just true for me – it’s true for you. Frankly, it’s true for everyone everywhere. I believe that by being more genuine and true to myself, my goals, and my intentions – I can do a great deal to make the world a better place for others, too.
Because when all is said and done, ultimately, I desire to make a positive impact in the world. But for all that I write about and study it, more than anything – I must act on it. Change can only be controlled through action.
Hence why I must act to walk my talk, advocate for myself, and be the truest and most genuine me that I can be. Because that is how my life experience becomes how and what I most desire it to be. Then, from there, I can do more to help others have similar experiences.
To walk the talk and be my own best advocate isn’t hard
It’s all about working with mindfulness of thoughts, feelings, and intentions to direct actions.
When I put more action into my thoughts, feelings, and intentions, I become more capable of consciously creating the positive-facing life I desire to most experience. Knowing that I can advocate for myself about who I am and what I do – with control and balance – I can best walk my talk and truly be the best, truest, most genuine me that I can be.
This empowers me – and in turn, my empowerment can empower others around me. That can expand to change the bigger picture matters, too.
Choosing for ourselves employs positivity for realizing amazing potential and possibilities for our lives.
Taking an approach to positivity and negativity – from the vast cylinder that exists between them – shifts matters in a way to open more dialogue. In that form, we can explore and share where we are between the extremes and how that impacts us here and now.
Lastly, the better aware we are of ourselves in the now, the more we can do to choose and decide how our life experiences will be. When that empowers us, it can also open those around us to their own empowerment. And that is, to me, a worthwhile endeavor to explore and share.
Thank you for coming along on this ride with me.
This is the four hundred and fifty-third entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.
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