It’s Okay (And Normal) Not to Be Mindful All the Time
Nobody can be anything all the time.
Please allow me to make this blanket statement: The one and only constant in the entire Universe is change.
You have experienced change in your life before – and you will experience it again. The child you were, the teen you became, and the adult you (probably) are now represent change in you and your life.
Some elements, beliefs, values, and habits might be the same or similar. But they’ve still come up against change both wanted and unwanted, sought after and utterly random.
Everything in life is in constant motion. The sun rises and sets, seasons change, air flows, and more. That motion is a manifestation of the constancy of change.
Many elements of change are utterly, completely, and totally outside of your control. They simply are. Things and shit happen. The world changes around you tangibly and intangibly beyond anything you can control.
But – when it comes to you, and what’s in your head, heart, and soul – you can be in control. This occurs through active conscious awareness – here and now. Or, put more directly, mindfulness.
Mindfulness has become the focal buzzword of self-help, psychology, and all sorts of material and immaterial things in life. But mindfulness is – at its core – active conscious awareness, in the now.
That awareness is about your inner being, your self. It’s conscious awareness of your thoughts, feelings, intentions, and actions.
Through mindfulness, you can take control of how you respond to the constancy of change in the Universe. You can also change what you’re thinking, what and how you’re feeling, your intentions, and what actions you do or don’t take.
This can appear daunting. And it begs the question – Must you be mindful all the time?
The beauty of impermanence
Must you be mindful all the time? Short answer – no.
But the why is worth examining. And it’s this – because nobody can be mindful (nor anything else) all the time.
Not long ago, I wrote an article about impermanence and how positive and empowering it can be. But in summation – impermanence as a concept is recognition and acknowledgment of the constancy of change and that nothing is permanent.
No people, places, or things are permanent. Whether the object in question is 100 years old or 1,000,000 years old – it’s impermanent. It will cease to be sooner or later,
What makes this beautiful, to me, is that any and all bad, unwanted, and unpleasant things are not here for good. They’re impermanent and can and will change.
When it comes to things in life negatively impacting you, there might be few options available. You may or may not be able to walk away, cut a person or thing off, or otherwise externally remove yourself.
But internally – whatever you are going through, enduring, or enjoying, your states of being also are impermanent.
This is a primary reason why you can’t be mindful all the time.
Nobody is mindful all the time
Nobody is any given state all the time. There’s nobody who’s always happy, always angry, always this, that, or the other thing. States change constantly because change is the only universal constant.
This is, frankly, a really good thing. That’s because when you’re having a bad day, nothing is going as planned, and you’re feeling miserable and lost – it will (eventually) change.
Mindfulness can and will help these things along. But nobody can be mindful all the time. And that’s because nobody can be anything all the time.
Everyone needs a break now and then. Sometimes, you just need to not be wholly present. There are times when working by rote and routine on autopilot keeps unnecessary and unwanted thinky-thoughts at bay. Sometimes it’s good to just go with the flow and not actively, consciously be aware.
Your body does the vast majority of its work subconsciously or unconsciously. For example, your heart beats, neurons fire, and muscles follow those impulses to move as you command them – without any conscious effort. You breathe whether conscious of it or not.
However – mindfulness of your breathing opens you to controlling it. You can breathe deeper, from the diaphragm, and with intent for calm, balance, centering, and the like.
But it’s unnecessary to do that all the time.
It’s okay (and normal) to not be mindful all the time
When I write about positivity every week, I emphasize the difference between genuine positivity and toxic positivity.
Toxic positivity ignores, disregards, and actively rejects negativity. But because you can’t ignore, disregard, and actively reject negativity in life – that’s why it’s toxic.
Other elements of self-help along this line will shame you – sometimes blatantly, sometimes subtly, occasionally unintentionally, and sometimes passive-aggressively – when you fail at mindfulness, positivity, and the like.
You might be made to feel as though it’s wrong and not normal to fail at mindfulness, positivity, conscious reality creation, and so on. Whether that’s done intentionally or not doesn’t matter. Because it’s just not true. It is normal and okay to be imperfect.
Perfection, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.
Situations will arise – frankly, shit will happen – when you will be incapable of active, conscious awareness. Some pain – tangible or intangible – demands withdrawal from conscious awareness. Certain happenings are – at least initially – easier to work with/deal with by rote, routine, and subconsciousness.
You are not a bad person, bad at self-care, or in any way wrong when you are not mindful all the time. It’s okay, and normal.
But here’s a last, important thought for your consideration.
Forgive yourself
I am the most critical and judgmental person when it comes to me. Nobody else is as harsh, unkind, unempathetic, or as mean as I am when it comes to all that I am or intend to be.
I’m my harshest critic and most ardent taskmaster. Frankly – I’m quite the asshole towards myself.
Thus, when I get shit wrong, screw things up, or otherwise fail – I can be extremely judgmental and unforgiving.
Everyone I know with an inner monologue has mentioned similar experiences with this.
Here’s the thing – would you accept this from someone else? If somebody else were that unkind, cruel, and critical of you – how would that make you feel?
I’m going to venture a guess and say pretty lousy. I wouldn’t accept that kind of shit from anyone else.
So why do I accept it from myself?
This is why it’s incredibly important – and empowering – to forgive yourself.
Here’s the thing my friend – you, me, and everyone else is perfectly imperfect. Sure, there might be – likely is – room for improvement. But you won’t get it right all the time. Because nothing whatsoever is all the time, ever.
Thus, when you fuck up – and you will – after any initial, visceral, negative reaction – consciously, mindfully, forgive yourself.
Why? Because you’re human. Thus, you’re going to get it wrong. Nobody is anything all the time, including right, wrong, good, bad, smart, stupid, and so on.
When you recognize and acknowledge this truth – you can see why you are both worthy and deserving of forgiveness. Because you’re worthy and deserving of kindness, compassion, and empathy.
No path is perfect or unchanging. It’s okay and normal to not be mindful all the time.
How does the normalcy of this make you think and feel?
This is the six-hundred and fourth (604) exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – applying mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.
I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.
Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-post and share this.
The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out Amazon for my published fiction and nonfiction works.
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