It’s Not Selfish to Count on Yourself
You are, after all, the only you that is or will ever be.
There’s an inescapable truth about you. You’re the only one in your head, heart, and soul. You, and only you, are in your mind, feel your feelings, and experience your spirit. Despite what anyone else might say, do, or want, they can’t be you. You’re it. It’s all about you.
This, for many, is terrifying. So much so that they would, they think, actively give up their self-sovereignty and cede their inner everything to another. And to a point, maybe they would. Right up until they find themselves forced to be, have, do, or otherwise experience something that is not right for them in some way.
Like it or not, you alone can experience your six senses. Also, only you can know and experience what you’re thinking, what and how you’re feeling, your intentions, the positivity or negativity of your approach, and your actions or inactions. It’s all on and in you. There is nobody else who can get inside and see the world from your unique, individual perspective.
To be fair, there are certainly like-minded people out there. But no matter how similar, they’re not in your head, heart, or soul with you. Your environment, memories, beliefs, values, and more have made you who you are, consciously or subconsciously.
Because you’re the only one who can truly, genuinely, authentically know you, it’s not in any way, shape, or form selfish to count on yourself.
You can’t control anyone or anything but yourself
No matter how much somebody tells you they love you, will always be there for you, has demonstrated time and again that they are in your court, that might change. Change, of course, is the one and only constant in the universe.
That might change because they move away or die. It might change because something shifted in their makeup that drives you apart. There might have been something utterly outside your control that turned them away from you.
This might not happen to you. But it could, because you have no control over anyone or anything outside of yourself. You can’t make anyone be, do, or have anything according to your will. There’s nothing you can do to control the weather, traffic, random people causing chaos near and far, or anything else of that nature.
All that you can and do control is yourself. The majority of that is inside you. It’s your mindset/headspace/psyche self/. Your conscious self. Hell, you don’t even technically control your subconscious beliefs, values, and habits unless you intentionally apply mindfulness to consciously address your subconscious.
Because only you can choose your beliefs, values, and habits, it’s not selfish to count on yourself. But a lot of forces out there falsely claim otherwise.
It’s not selfish to count on yourself
Selfishness is not setting boundaries, telling someone no, ending a relationship that doesn’t suit you, and/or anything else done for the betterment of your mental, emotional, spiritual, and/or physical health, wellness, and wellbeing. Self-care, self-awareness, and self-sovereignty are not, in and of themselves, selfish.
True selfishness is something done with malice of forethought. It’s knowingly taking more than your fair share while leaving others without. Selfishness is doing something knowing full well you will actively harm someone (like voting for someone anti-trans and thus harming trans people). Actual, factual selfishness is done without giving a fuck about anyone other than yourself and not caring if you do harm. There is no compassion, kindness, or empathy at all in a genuinely selfish act.
Hence, practicing self-care, taking the time and effort to be self-aware, and working to better yourself, to count on yourself, is empowering. Since only you can empower yourself, this is a key component of living your most optimum life experience.
What does it mean to count on yourself? It means that you learn to listen to your inner mindset/headspace/psyche self. You ask questions like,
- What am I thinking?
- What am I feeling?
- How am I feeling?
- What are my intentions?
- Is my approach (to this) positive or negative?
- What am I doing?
Since you, and only you, can answer these questions, and only here and now, in the present, you alone can learn your inner everything. That empowers. When you’re thusly empowered, you learn to count on yourself to make more active, mindful choices and decisions. That, in turn, puts you ultimately in control of who, what, where, how, and why you are.
When you can do this and count on yourself, you open yourself to doing more for others.
You are one person comprised of 4 elements
You are a being of four distinct elements: mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical. Unfortunately, society puts most of the emphasis on the physical aspects of self and lumps emotional and spiritual into mental, if addressing them at all.
Yet to function most optimally, you need to address your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual self. Your health, wellness, and wellbeing require all four to be given time and attention.
The best way to address all of this, to learn how to count on yourself, is by practicing kindness, compassion, and empathy. This practice begins with how you treat yourself.
Society spends so much time and energy telling you to look outward, distracting you, subtly and blatantly telling you that you’re lacking; it’s easy to become unkind, uncompassionate, and unempathetic toward yourself. When you don’t check this and make choices and decisions to counter it, you become disempowered.
Learning to count on yourself begins with kindness, compassion, and empathy toward yourself. Don’t beat yourself up over what-ifs, perceived slights, accusations of selfishness from setting boundaries, and the like. Practice mindfulness, go into your subconscious actively, and ask the questions that make you consciously aware here and now. In that way, you become empowered. When you’re empowered, you can count on yourself to make more choices and decisions to live your life on your preferred terms.
This is not a one-and-done matter. It takes practice, time, and effort. But I’d rather know I have my back and can count on myself than be beholden to anyone who doesn’t know me like I know me.
Learning that it’s not selfish to count on yourself isn’t hard
It’s all about practicing active conscious awareness (mindfulness) of your thoughts, feelings, intentions, and the positivity or negativity of your approach to direct your actions.
When you recognize and acknowledge that you are the only one in your head, heart, and soul, you can use active conscious awareness to get to know yourself thoroughly and make choices and decisions that are genuine to you. Knowing that you are the only one who can truly account for who, what, where, how, and why you are, you can choose and decide things that feel right for you by seeing that you’re able to count on yourself when you know yourself via applied mindfulness.
This empowers you, and your empowerment can, in turn, empower others around you.
Consciously choosing your approach to life towards positivity or negativity — from the vast cylinder that exists between them — shifts life in a way that opens greater dialogue. From that dialogue, you can recognize, explore, and share where you are between the extremes and how that impacts you here and now.
Choosing thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions for yourself opens the way for a positive approach and attitude via your actions. This can lead to realizing amazing potential and possibilities for your life.
The better aware you are of yourself, here and now, the better you can choose and decide what, how, and why your life experiences will be. When you empower yourself, it can spread to those around you and empower them as well. That is an amazing conduit to help reason to overcome fear in the collective consciousness.
Thank you for coming along on this journey.
This is the six-hundred-twenty-seventh (627) entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, reblog, and spread the positivity.
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