Is Being Genuine and True to Yourself Really All That Important?
Both in the now and the long run, being genuine and true to yourself matters tremendously.
How do you react when you encounter someone who is a fake?
I’m not writing about someone you later learn is a fake. I mean, right from the outset. They put on airs, they seem confident not quite to the point of arrogance – but nearly so – and they come across as not quite right, slightly off, overwrought, and maybe trying too hard.
If you’re like me, you treat them with kid gloves and keep them at a bit of a distance. Maybe, in time, you get to know them – but not likely until you can see that they are fake because of insecurity, or a need for self-protection of one stripe or another.
But this is why being genuine and true to yourself is so important. Because when you are, it becomes both easier to work on your stuff as well as to relate to other people.
Doesn’t that make me vulnerable?
Arguably, being genuine and true to yourself can open you to being more vulnerable. Perhaps, because you are being you, it does make it easier for others to take pokes at you, prod you, and get under your skin.
However, it makes it easier for you to work with when something like that happens.
How? Because you know who, what, where, how, and why you are. Being genuine and true to yourself, you know yourself.
When you fake it and/or are disingenuous, eventually it’ll catch up to you. Inside, you will become disconnected – as your ego is that projection of yourself you’ve created. Meanwhile, your subconscious is coping with being disingenuous and sometimes building false aspects of yourself that can run counter to your beliefs and values. Meanwhile, your conscious mind gets shuffled around as you avoid being fully present with this untrue self you project.
In other words, by not being genuine and true to yourself you have actually made yourself more vulnerable. Just like you can see through the fake person shared above, you expose soft targets because you aren’t being you.
It’s not always easy to be yourself. And life is full of confusion, unwanted and unplanned happenings, experiences, and other matters that make being yourself undesirable. What’s more, far too many of our examples of success and achievement are utter fakes.
They are the ones who tell you that being genuine and true to yourself makes you vulnerable. But it’s a lot easier to combat matters that pop up in your life – both within and without – when you are being you. Why? Because you don’t have to add another layer to your untrue, half-true, or false story.
What if I dislike my genuine, true self?
Who you are is not written in stone.
Life is all about growth, evolution, and change. Who you were at age 5 isn’t who you were at age 10. The person you were at age 10 is not who you are at age 25. It’s entirely possible that who you were at 25 isn’t who you are at 30.
The point is that you change, you grow, and you evolve. Sometimes this is literal and drastic. For example, at 25 my right collarbone was made of bone. At age 27 it had to be remade with titanium following a nasty injury. Over the intervening decade, who I was at age 27 was a very different person in attitude, approach, and decision making when I reached my 40s. Physically, mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually I’ve changed and evolved. And continue to do so as I near 50.
I think most people go through periods where they dislike who, what, where, how, and even why they are. Some people create false realities and egos in reaction to this. Others go the opposite direction and work to get to know themselves, in the now, better.
Thus, if you dislike your genuine, true self – you can change it. That’s a choice.
Admittedly, that’s a lot easier for some than others. As a middle-class, middle-aged white man, this is a much easier concept for me than it is for someone who lives paycheck-to-paycheck, is black or other POC, or is female. But though the how of changing yourself differs, the potential doesn’t.
It begins with mindfulness.
Mindfulness to be yourself
Mindfulness is conscious awareness of yourself. Yes, it does make you aware of that which is outside of yourself. But in this context, it’s all about being aware of your inner being.
This comes down to being consciously aware of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions. When you are aware of these, you are in the now. And when you are in the now, you are consciously aware and connecting to your conscious mind.
The difference between the conscious mind and the subconscious mind is easy to identify. The subconscious is where your habits, beliefs, and values live. They are there, in your depths – but not always obvious nor easily and readily tapped into. What’s more, old beliefs deeply rooted can negatively impact you unless identified consciously and dug out.
Meanwhile, the ego is both a bridge between the conscious and subconscious mind – and a separate entity. Ego is a combination of both how you project yourself to the world without – and a reflection that back to your inner being. Your ego is where you and others can tell if you’re being genuine and true to yourself – or not.
To be mindful, you need to be in the now. Present in this moment. When you are consciously aware of the here-and-now, you can see clearly how your ego interacts with you internally and the world externally. Thus, you can see if you are being genuine and true to yourself – or not. And if you are not – you can see what actions you need to take to change this.
If you desire to change it.
Fake it ‘til you make it isn’t the same thing
Finally – faking it ‘til you make it isn’t necessarily disingenuous. Sometimes, to get from where you are now to where you desire to be, you need to project more confidence, self-assurance, and calm than you truly feel.
When you leave any given comfort zone behind, you are uncomfortable. Going into uncertain territory has a lot of challenges to it. Sometimes, in that situation, you need to project through your ego someone more confident and self-possessed than you genuinely are.
But that’s not disingenuous because it is your genuine, true self. It’s a conscious choice, rather than an egoistic one. Most people who are not genuine or true to themselves are reacting to a trauma or other negative experience and are not entirely aware of their disingenuous ego.
Granted, some people are completely aware of being fake. They choose to put on those airs and be that person. And maybe it works for them – but I bet the uncertainty and expectation of being found out eats away at their mental, emotional, and spiritual health and wellness.
Faking it ‘til you make it is just a matter of extra push and being your genuine, true self with added oomph. This is why this approach always has the best result when it comes from your genuine, true self.
You are worthy and deserving of being recognized for the amazing person you are. And if you are not feeling all that amazing, you can be that amazing person with genuine, true-to-yourself conscious awareness work.
Being your genuine, true self isn’t hard
It’s all about working with mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.
When you are consciously aware of who, what, why, where, and how you are, you gain the ability to grow and evolve on your terms through conscious awareness. Knowing that if you are not presently your genuine, true self – or who you desire to be – you can choose to work with conscious awareness to change that. This empowers you, and in turn, your empowerment can empower others around you. Choosing for yourself tends to lean positively.
Taking an approach to positivity and negativity – from the vast space that exists between them – shifts the concept in a way to open more dialogue. In that form, we can explore and share where we are between those extremes and how that impacts us here and now.
Lastly, I believe the better aware we are of ourselves in the now, the more we can do to choose and decide how our life experiences will be. If that empowers us, it can also open those around us to their own empowerment. And that is, to me, a worthwhile endeavor to explore and share.
Thank you for coming along on this ride with me.
This is the four hundred and thirty-third entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.
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