I Owned Up to My Mistake and It Essentially Worked Out Okay
When you own up to a mistake accountability is empowering.
I presently work 3 jobs.
First and foremost – I work for myself. Writer, editor, storyteller, podcaster, blogger, etc. I’m taking action and doing things to build the life I most desire to have for myself.
Secondly, I’ve been working for this amazing entrepreneur for the last year. She has multiple businesses and tons of amazing ideas. I am both her personal assistant and the managing director of her brands (part-time).
Thirdly, I’m entering month 4 of working for an online and digital education company. Though the scope of my work has shifted – overall there is a lot of creativity, and my coworkers are amazing. This job is also part-time.
Both jobs where I’m not working for myself are wholly remote. Given the work I put into creating my excellent home office space, this is ideal. And yes, I recognize how privileged I am to have this opportunity.
The reason I’m sharing this background is because of the very recent experience that came of it.
For my education company job, I had a large task of finding and adding appropriate photos to a Powerpoint deck. When I first saw this deck, it was maybe 200 slides in total. When I started on that assignment it had passed 550 slides.
Not all needed images – but a lot did. So I got to work.
And then I learned that I misunderstood a key element of the assignment. This was not a small mistake, either. More than half the images needed to be replaced.
Initially, when confronted with this, my heart sank. How will this turn out? What kind of trouble am I in? What happens next?
Fear of suffering versus real suffering
Due to the remote nature of my job, I saw on a social platform we use the first comments about my mistake late at night. Hence, the initial upset over the potential suffering that might come from this mistake hit at a time it would not have been best to address it.
In the past, “fear of suffering” resulting from such a mistake might have seriously impacted me. Various “what if?” scenarios, questions about my capabilities, self-indictments of my character, and more. Then, add to that, all the possible consequences – real and imagined – that might come from my mistake.
More than once in my life, I’ve spun out from similar situations. All the negativity I could imagine was dredged to the surface and impacted me. I’d envision the worst-case scenarios playing out, and my depression and anxiety would override my consciousness.
But not this time.
Step away from yourself to analyze the mistake
Rather than let all my worst inclinations and fears come to the surface of my consciousness, I stepped away from myself. I placed myself outside of my emotions, and even my own thoughts.
Then, I looked more closely at what happened. What went wrong? Was this a self-sabotage on my part or an honest mistake? Was the worst that could happen as a result all that bad?
By stepping away from myself I had the impersonal clarity needed to get answers.
- What went wrong? I misunderstood the instructions I was given. I’d even written them down – but I had them wrong and the information I used to find the photos was incorrect.
- Was this a self-sabotage on my part or an honest mistake? It was an honest mistake. Non-malicious, even towards myself (ergo, not a matter of self-sabotage).
- Was the worst that could happen as a result all that bad? The boss will chew me out, and I might lose my job. But not my life, my birthday, or anything else important to me – so really, not a big deal.
That settled, I kept my calm and got a good night’s sleep.
Time to pay the piper
When I woke up the next morning, there were a couple of twinges of anxiety. Yes, I resolved that I made a mistake – and would own up to it once I logged into work. But that was still a few hours away – and my morning routine awaited me.
I did my morning reading, posted my blog, took a walk (despite the cold and rain), showered, got dressed, and had breakfast.
It was time to log into work. I did. First thing, I owned up to my mistake.
Yes, I made this mistake. No, it wasn’t due to not listening or forgetting instructions – it was a misunderstanding. I apologized.
It was very clear that the boss was displeased with me. I was told to go back – as quickly as possible since I also had taken longer than originally expected in the first place – and swap photos for more appropriate ones.
Though given another time limit to complete my work – that I went over again – it was done.
Now? So far, it’s worked out okay.
When I owned up, I empowered myself with accountability
When you blame people, places, circumstances, random happenstance, or anything else for anything at all, you disempower yourself.
Why? Because you weren’t accountable to not just whoever/whatever you wronged, but more than that – to yourself. You were dishonest, disingenuous, and frankly unkind by throwing blame instead of owning up and being accountable.
I’m not going to lie to you – it sucks to have to admit to being wrong, making mistakes, and even outright fucking up. But when you do – you’re empowered. Why? Because you have been mindful.
To own up to a mistake you need to be consciously aware of it and your part in it. That requires mindfulness in the here and now. When you are mindful, you are empowered.
Everyone makes mistakes. And I mean EVERYONE. No matter the path you choose or don’t choose, mistakes can, will, and do happen.
Sure, there might still be consequences for my mistake. Hence my claim that it’s worked out essentially okay. But I still feel good about owning up to it – and empowered because I am driving this bus that is my life.
A very useful and cogent life lesson I felt should be shared.
When you make a mistake do you own up to it or blame someone/something, tangible or intangible?
This is the five-hundred and sixty-third exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – using mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.
I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.
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