I Don’t Know
It’s okay that I don’t know – because it means I’ve something new to learn.
Recently, I had a discussion with a friend about learning new things.
In this instance, we were talking about a personal lesson regarding a mutual acquaintance. Said acquaintance, whom I only trust as far as I can throw (which isn’t far) did something hugely upsetting to my friend. It was behavior I’ve seen from that person before – so it came as no surprise to me.
It came as no surprise to my friend, either. But my friend strives to see the best in people, so they have looked around and past this behavior before. But this time it’s too much, and they are using their own agency to step away from this toxic acquaintance. They will take the lesson and grow from it.
The conversation concluded that life is all about the ongoing lessons. Some take more time and experience than others.
I postulate that learning new things is what life, at its core, is all about.
Sometimes the obvious is unknown to us. Why? Because we’re too close to it to see it for what it is.
Also, with information at our fingertips, not knowing is often expanded easily. I don’t know invites judgment.
But that’s not true at all. Because life is all about learning. Every single day you learn something new. It might be tiny or it might be huge. But something you didn’t know yesterday you know today.
On the emotional level, this is uniquely complicated. Our feelings are impacted not only by our own conscious awareness, but also by outside influences. That ranges from people we care deeply about to random strangers.
This gets complicated when what we don’t know, ultimately, is ourselves.
Do you know yourself?
Who are you? That’s a REALLY loaded question, right?
What are you? Why are you? Where are you? These additional loaded questions are often shunted to the side and disregarded for their role in our lives.
We are trained by our society to be cogs in the machine. Do your part, follow the path laid out by others for you, and subsist on that. Contribute or be cast off the island.
You have control of only ONE THING – you. Everything that you do and don’t do is wholly controlled by you. What’s more, your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions can be controlled only by you. Nobody else can make you do anything unless you accede to them and their demands.
Does a cog know that it’s part of a larger machine? No. But in the case of human beings, we do. So much so that we lose ourselves within it.
I am not saying that global warming, politics, social justice movements, and the like aren’t important. They are. But to do anything at all about them you need to know yourself, first.
If you don’t know you – how can you know what impact you can have?
Learning about yourself is frequently equated with selfishness. Is it? No. Self-care and learning about yourself isn’t selfish. Selfish is knowingly, intentionally causing hurt and harm to others via your actions and intentions. Period.
Getting to know yourself means learning who, what, where, how, and why you are. Learning that allows you a more solid base for all matters of life.
But then, there is a catch. The lessons need to be relearned constantly. Why? Because you will change.
Don’t fear saying “I don’t know”
Socrates said,
“I know that I know nothing.”
Why is that so great? Because it means that learning is ongoing. For everything that we do know – we can know something more.
There is NO shame in admitting that you don’t know something. None whatsoever. Admitting “I don’t know” opens a door to gaining more knowledge.
Possibly the most challenging element of this comes from the lessons of the heart and soul. Knowledge from books and experiences that impact thought gets the most focus. But the knowledge of the heart and soul – impacting feelings and intentions – is equally important.
The greatest disconnect most people experience when it comes to not knowing is here. We get so distracted that we lose ourselves along the way.
This is why I spend so much time expounding upon mindfulness. When you work to be consciously aware of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions, you get to know yourself. And, most importantly of all, since you are always changing – you get to know yourself in the immediate here-and-now.
That knowledge is so important. It lets you see the where, what, why, how, and even when of yourself. That, in turn, will show you how much control you’ve taken – or not.
True selfishness
Is this selfish? Yes – but no. Again, I want to reiterate that true selfishness is knowing that you are causing hurt or harm via your actions and intentions.
At present, the pandemic that should be coming to an end isn’t. Why? Because truly selfish people are weaponizing and politicizing common sense matters like mask-wearing and vaccination. They KNOW that persuading people not to vaccinate or wear masks is causing harm. But for their own gain, they’re doing it anyhow.
Most of us want very much to see the best in people. Truly, I believe this. That’s where you get often tone-deaf calls for equality and reaching across the divide. We need to draw these lost souls back in.
We can’t. Plain and simple, we can’t. And that’s the big picture. If someone is convinced that the vaccine is a lie or that masks infringe on their civil liberties – that’s where they are. Leave them be. Let them shout into the void. Eventually, the isolation will change them – or they’ll just go away.
When it comes to those closest to us – we can choose to keep trying to reach out to them – or not. I want to see the best in people and strive to do so. But sometimes, what I didn’t know but inevitably learn is that it might not exist. As my friend has learned from the situation with the mutual acquaintance – they can and should stop trying and walk away.
When you learn about yourself, you can learn if you are being truly selfish. Are your intent and your actions to cause harm to others via lack, scarcity, or the like? If so, you’re being selfish. If not – you’re practicing self-care.
I don’t know about you, but that seems reasonable to me.
I don’t know empowers learning
Who I was 20 years ago is not who I am, now. Likewise, who I was 10 years ago isn’t who I am now. And just to clarify, who I am now isn’t who I was 5 years ago, 1 year ago, 6 months ago, or even, frankly, yesterday.
Before that gets overwhelming, it’s important to know that some elements of who you are change very minutely. The changes are so slight as to be reasonably negligible.
But change is the only constant in the universe. And because it’s a constant, it cannot be stopped. You can resist it, deny it, fight it – but it will still happen.
Better, instead, to learn it, work with it, alter it on your own terms. But to do that, you need to ask the questions and acknowledge that you don’t know.
I don’t know is a positive statement. Why? Because it means you acknowledge an opportunity to learn, grow, and take control over change.
When I started work on my newer sci-fi series, I didn’t know anything about where exoplanets outside of our solar system were. Now, while there are many I still don’t know, I DO know where some are presently expected to be within 30 light-years of us.
When I started playing with faster-than-light travel in my series, I didn’t know more than a name regarding present hypotheses. I know more about this now than I did, but I still don’t know the math behind it.
Hence, everything I don’t know is an opportunity to empower myself and learn something new. And that, I believe, is what makes life and all the experiences we have worthwhile. There is ALWAYS something new to be learned.
Maybe I don’t know. But I can learn.
What do you desire to know that you don’t know?
This is the five-hundred and third exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are ideas for – and my personal experiences with – mindfulness and walking along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.
I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Additionally, I desire to empower myself and my readers with conscious reality creation.
Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-blog and share this.
The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. My additional writing, both fiction and non-fiction, are available here.
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