How Does Toxic Positivity Actually Differ from True Positivity?
Toxic positivity is disempowering and does more harm than good.
I am a big proponent of positivity.
We live in a fear-based society, constantly bombarded by negative messages. Because they are so predominant, more positivity is the best offense to combat them.
But all too often, positivity gets carried too far and turns toxic. And toxic positivity disempowers and makes the negativity worse.
How? By mistreating negativity.
Like it or not – negativity IS. Bad things happen. Shit goes down. And we cannot ignore it, deny it, or pretend it doesn’t exist via holding positivity against it. We can’t eradicate negativity – because it has always been and always will be.
Friendships end. People die. Jobs are lost. Relationships collapse. And these things will frequently happen well beyond our ability to control them in the least.
Real positivity does not deny negativity. But it offers a different and empowering approach.
Please allow me to address the specifics here.
What IS toxic positivity?
Toxic positivity is the equivalent of sticking your fingers in your ears and loudly shouting “I DON’T SEE ANYTHING NEGATIVE LALALA!” while looking at only one concept, idea, or notion. It’s rose-colored glasses, pretending shit smells like roses, and a Pollyanna attitude that no bad happens.
This is positivity that refuses to see, acknowledge, or recognize negativity. It’s the idea of just stay positive, ignore the negative, and all will be right with the world.
Toxic positivity is why people deny the seriousness of the ongoing issues of the COVID-19 pandemic, refuse to stand up for the disenfranchised, and refuse to take any accountability for their part in such. It’s an “I’m positive everything is fine this isn’t my problem so I can rise above it and blah blah blah” attitude and approach.
It’s toxic because it hurts everyone, both those employing it and others impacted by that. This is unhealthy like anything toxic and adds to the sickness.
Because of toxic positivity, many people are incapable of seeing true positivity.
It’s insidious, and it is more toxic than a radioactive waste dump.
Mindfulness and the truth
Negativity is a necessary evil. Like it or not, negativity will always be.
But how we approach our personal, individual life experiences is entirely up to us. We can do so negatively or positively.
Toxic positivity denies the reality of negativity. This is what makes it toxic – since doing so is utterly disempowering.
How? Because part of being mindful and consciously aware in this life is recognizing and acknowledging bad things. Some we are responsible for and need to be accountable for – while others are well outside of our control.
The only thing we absolutely control is ourselves. Specifically, our conscious selves and our egos. And mindfulness is the key to recognition of this.
Real mindfulness is conscious awareness – here and now – of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions. It’s how you and I can answer the questions of who, what, where, how, and why in the present moment.
This conscious awareness tells you if your perspective on life, the Universe, and everything is positive or negative.
Yes, things can and will happen that make you feel negative. But apart from that, you and I choose our overall approach.
Positive or negative? Good and plenty or bad and lacking? Delight and hope or doom and gloom?
We all know people with good attitudes. They have bad days – but overall, they see possibility and potential in the world. Likewise, we all know people with bad attitudes. They have good days – but overall, they see impossibility and awfulness.
And this is where true positivity comes in.
What IS true positivity?
True positivity is choosing to seek out and find or create a positive experience/approach/understanding. It’s choosing to not view the world as being full of terribleness and horror but rather hope and opportunity.
This isn’t about whether you see a glass as half full or half empty – it’s about seeing the glass and pondering what it could contain. Is it full of something poisonous or something healthy and delicious?
True positivity is recognizing your overall mindset/headspace/psyche self and life perspective – then choosing to look for good and better.
True positivity looks like this: You get fired from your job. You are hurt, angry, and feel bad about yourself when that happens. But then, you recognize your immediate reaction for being the visceral experience that it is. Acknowledging this, you pause and choose to see potential and opportunity. Maybe losing this job is a blessing in disguise and the gateway to better is open.
When my awesome cover artist could no longer do the covers I need soon – I was initially upset. How am I going to get my books out there when I plan to if I can’t get a cover for them?
When that initial, visceral negative reaction passed I thought, yeah – this sucks. But maybe this is an opportunity to find an even better artist.
That is true positivity. I don’t deny that negativity has occurred. Instead, I acknowledge it and seek to make the best of it.
Shit happens. That’s a fact of life and unavoidable. But you and I choose if we live in positivity or negativity. Positivity that acknowledges negativity is true positivity – and healthy for everyone. The toxic is disempowering and does more harm than good.
What are you choosing for your life experience?
Recognizing true versus toxic positivity isn’t hard
It begins with mindfulness of our thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.
Knowing that true positivity recognizes the reality of negativity – while toxic positivity denies and ignores it – we can better see our own perspectives for how we approach life. When we work to take a more positive approach, we open ourselves to greater potential and possibility. And that ultimately empowers us all.
When you are empowered, your mindfulness increases, you become more aware overall, and that gets reflected and spreads to other people. This creates a feedback loop of awareness and positivity – a feedback loop everyone can take part in.
Then, together, we build more positive feelings and discover further reasons to feel positivity and gratitude. That becomes the impetus to improve our lives for the better, help overcome the overwhelming negativity of any current situation, and generate even more positivity and gratitude.
An attitude of gratitude is an attitude of pure positivity. That positivity can generate even greater positive energies – and that is ultimately empowering for all.
Everyone is worthy and deserving of all the good we desire.
This is the four hundred and second of my Positivity series. It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.
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