How Do We Stand Up to Fear and Uncertainty Along Our Paths?
Genuine mindfulness lets us recognize fear and uncertainty and how to handle them on our paths.
Fear takes many forms. Often, it’s disguised as uncertainty, trepidation, self-doubt, general doubt, brain weasels, and the like.
Fear isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It has served the human race well in protecting us from harm. But the things we needed fear to protect us from have changed. A lot.
We are no longer prey to anything but other human beings. Fear that protected us from tangible dangers has lessened considerably throughout history.
But fear has changed, not gone away. Now, fear and uncertainty are almost always about intangibles. Generally, not so much the consequences but the suffering that is possible.
Nobody desires to suffer. We all desire to be comfortable, content, and even happy. But fear that suffering will occur – particularly attached to uncertainty – unnerves many.
We need to recognize and acknowledge fear. However, many false narratives suggest instead fearlessness, ignoring fear, and otherwise disregarding it.
The truth is that we can’t. Really, we need fear. Because fear – even of the intangible – is still a teacher. It helps us get to know ourselves in the face of adversity. Fear and uncertainty, when recognized, acknowledged, and faced, can make us stronger mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and even physically.
No matter what paths we take – chosen actively, passively, or subconsciously – fear and uncertainty will present themselves to us.
How do we stand up to them?
Recognize and acknowledge fear and uncertainty
We all live in the same world. Yet every person perceives reality differently. As Einstein said,
“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”
The illusion is based on our individual perception. While there are shared perceptions of reality that the collective consciousness permeating the world largely agrees on, a great deal is totally individual. Also – the “collective” elements of our collective consciousness vary by region, sex, environment, and other factors that are similar but dissimilar around the world.
Thus, the collective consciousness of North America is not the same as the collective consciousness of Australia. And these are incredibly broad examples.
Collective consciousness notwithstanding – fear and uncertainty exist in everyone everywhere.
The bravest, most fearless person you know still has fears. And to you, they might be unreasonable. What makes one person braver than another? How do they recognize, acknowledge, and then deal with their fears and uncertainty?
We all know people who lash out when fearful and uncertain. That’s usually a sign of not recognizing nor acknowledging it for what it is.
By recognizing and acknowledging fear and uncertainty as inescapable, we empower ourselves.
How is that empowering? Because when you recognize and acknowledge fear you gain knowledge, experience, and understanding. That is the key to standing up to it.
The real issue – suffering
I’m not ashamed to admit that my greatest fear is that of abandonment. Utter, total, and complete abandonment by everyone and everything that I value, love, or care about.
This fear, however, tends not to manifest directly. Instead, it manifests in other, more insidious ways. Fear of failure and fear of success, for example.
What does that look like? If I fail, I will be discarded and abandoned. Conversely, if I succeed, I will be disregarded, shunned, and abandoned.
Same suffering – opposite happenstances.
I know, intellectually, it’s not the abandonment itself I’m afraid of. It’s the suffering.
As Paulo Coelho puts it so perfectly in The Alchemist,
“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself.”
I know this to be true. Even the worst suffering I’ve experienced – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually – was not as bad as the suffering I feared I would experience.
Most of what we fear has nothing to do with the fear itself. What we fear is suffering.
Likewise, uncertainty works the same. When we utterly do not know what is happening or what is next to come – uncertainty becomes fear. More often than not – fear of suffering.
Take the pandemic for example. As COVID-19 spread in the first quarter of 2020, the fear of suffering most of us experienced was utterly terrifying. And the uncertainty about it worsening, mutating, or getting more deadly made the fear of suffering from it * and the uncertainty around it – even worse.
(Note – those that got sick from COVID and/or lost people to it have legitimately suffered. That’s worse than the fear of suffering those who have not become ill or lost people to the disease have experienced. I want to acknowledge that for what it is.)
Standing up to fear and uncertainty
When we recognize and acknowledge fear and uncertainty – and that suffering tends to be the overarching issue – we empower ourselves to stand up to them.
How? Be practicing practical mindfulness and reason.
Practical mindfulness is being consciously aware and present in the now. It’s a matter of knowing what we’re thinking, how and what we’re feeling, what our intentions are, and how we’re acting. By being consciously aware we become mindful.
Hence, we know our conscious self – our mindset/headspace/psyche self. Rather than be driven by our subconscious or fooled by our ego – we know ourselves.
When we are present and aware, we become capable of seeing reason. We can look more clearly at the inner elements of ourselves in our control, and then use them to stand up to fear and uncertainty.
For example – I know that my fear of abandonment is all about suffering. When I’m mindful, I can reason that I’ve been alone before – and I was fine. Lonely, maybe – but did I truly suffer? No. Reason takes root – and I can see that while I might suffer – more than likely, what I fear is worse than what will actually happen.
With that, I stand up to my fear and uncertainty – and keep writing these posts. I’m seeking new ways to promote my work as an author and move forward with becoming a speaker on this topic, too.
I’m still afraid. But I know that this is all about the uncertainty of suffering, and within reason, I know and feel it will be worse if I don’t take action as I desire to. Down this path of my choosing I go.
Your experience is your own
Your fears and uncertainties are not mine. And the suffering might be just as real as you fear. But only when reason and mindfulness are applied can you know.
Life is not meant to be lived utterly safely. We are not meant to be staid and stagnant. Human beings have infinite potential and possibilities. That’s why unlike every other animal on this planet, we can live anywhere we desire to. Humans can forge tools to tame the elements and shelter us from danger and unpredictable environments. We can be incredibly creative and build amazing things and equally unimaginative and destructive.
It’s all a matter of choices and decisions. Fear and uncertainty ruling our lives is a choice. Allowing them to be our dominant experience is a decision.
With mindfulness, we can see reason – and stand up to fear and uncertainty. It is empowering, and we are all worthy and deserving of overcoming fear and uncertainty – then learning what they can teach us to make us better/stronger/wiser.
You can do it. I believe in you.
Will you use mindfulness and reason to stand up to fear and uncertainty so that they don’t rule your paths in life?
This is the five-hundred and sixtieth exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – using mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.
I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.
Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-post and share this.
The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out Amazon for my published fiction and nonfiction works.
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