Focusing Within Is Not Selfish, It Is Necessary Self-Care
Focusing without will depress, upset, and disempower you.
The world is crazy. Let’s just call it what it is.
When the Supreme Court decided that Trump could claim some immunity and that judges could overrule regulatory agencies at will, I found myself deeply angry. And scared. How did we step so far backward? Why could these 9 people decide that a President might as well be a King; and agencies meant to protect the environment and common people could be ignored by opinionated individuals with a degree of power?
I don’t watch the news anymore and have been limiting my time online. Yet I desire to remain informed so that I can vote for the right people and do what I can – as limited as that is – to stand for the principles I believe in. This news was deeply upsetting and distracted me from my work for a time.
No matter what you believe, the increasingly divisive leadership uses fear to widen the gaps between people. This is done via religion, ideology, class, race, gender, sexual orientation, nationality, and anything else you can conceive of. Look to the world without for any amount of time and you’ll be inundated with contradictory, negative, and frequently upsetting info.
Welcome to life in a fear-based society. From subtle – like advertising, to blatant – like lies about what “they” will take away from you, fear is everywhere you turn. Worse, it’s increasingly weaponized to stir conflict.
Most of all, the intent is to keep you focusing on the outside world. The world without. When your attention is on all these things, you are giving away and ceding your power to them.
That’s the point, frankly. If you’re disempowered, you’re easier to persuade and to some degree control.
Ceding your power is disempowerment
Every time I get caught up in what’s happening without, and the outside world’s craziness, it makes me feel worse. My depression flares, my fear increases, and I work less on things I can do anything at all about and worry about “what ifs” far outside my control.
All the worst-case scenarios that play out in my head are awful. What if they get in power and start coming after people with views like mine? Will I be targeted because of my Jewish heritage? What if the people I care about are hurt by these terrible rulings, horrible laws, and other matters that are happening out there? What if it all crumbles?
It’s so, so easy to go down these and other rabbit holes. Too easy. While it’s important to me to be aware of what’s going on, it’s more important to recognize and work from this truth: There is little to nothing I can do about it.
What can I do? Vote, attend protests, write letters and emails to Congress, write letters to the editor or blogs, boycott businesses with awful practices, and that’s about it. Focusing on it, obsessing about it, worrying over it does nobody any good at all.
When I do that, and you do that, we cede our power. That’s because you’re not working with what you can and do control, but instead being disempowered by focusing on what you have little to no control of.
You cede your power when you focus without. That’s because you can only do what I mentioned above, and little to nothing else for the world without.
Where you have any control at all is the world within.
Focusing within is necessary self-care
What can you control? Very, very little. That’s partially because change is the only constant in the universe, and lots of happenings simply occur.
Weather happens. Jobs are found and lost. Relationships start and end. People die. Accidents happen. Almost all of this is utterly outside your control.
When shit happens, you react. Like the response to the BS from the Supreme Court, you feel and think things reactionarily upon their occurrence. This immediate, visceral reaction just is. It’s based on your experience, life, environment, beliefs, values, habits, and tons of other personal intangibles.
The truth is some celebrated the Supreme Court decisions that upset me. Human nature is individual and perceived reality is a persistent illusion.
After that initial, visceral reaction, however, you can take control. This is via focusing within. Inside your conscious awareness, you have the power to be actively in control. That’s where mindfulness comes in.
This is about what’s in your head, heart, and soul. Conscious awareness is recognizing and acknowledging what you’re thinking, what and how you’re feeling, your intentions, the direction of your approach, and your actions and inactions. Mindfulness is how you not only recognize and acknowledge them but can then take control of and change them.
What you have the power to control is your thoughts, feelings, intentions, approach, and actions. Doing so empowers you because it lets you make choices, decisions, and changes for your life experience. This is key to self-care. Nobody other than you is in your head, heart, and soul. You alone can do anything with and for this.
This brings me to an important truth.
Focusing within is not selfish
I cannot reiterate enough what true selfishness is. Too many things deemed selfish simply aren’t.
Setting boundaries for your health, wellness, and wellbeing is never selfish. Saying no to toxic people and situations is never selfish. Dumping someone who makes you miserable is never selfish. Not going into the office because you’re sick or taking a vacation is never selfish.
True selfishness is taking more than your fair share and knowingly leaving someone without – and not giving a shit about it. It’s having 8 slices of pie, 8 people, and you take 3, not caring that two people will get none.
Focusing within to be empowered is not selfish. Let me repeat that for the people in the back. FOCUSING WITHIN TO BE EMPOWERED IS NOT SELFISH.
When you’re empowered, you can work on what you have in your life to make it the best you can. Rather than be a victim or a puppet, inner focus lets you choose and decide who, what, where, how, and why you are.
This is a matter of self-care. Because you are the only you that is. You alone know what you need, desire, and what’s in your head, heart, and soul. It’s not selfish to look within and act on these things.
All the power you have comes from within. Hence, focusing within empowers you. From there, you can choose and decide for yourself, and take your power to be the best you that you can be, whatever that looks like.
Focusing within allows you to be more content, centered, and balanced. From there, you can move beyond the messages and disempowerment of the world without.
I know how that makes me feel, and far prefer it to feeling upset about what I can’t control or do much of anything about.
Isn’t that an utterly worthwhile notion?
This is the six-hundred fifty-fourth (654) exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – applying mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.
I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.
Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-post and share this.
The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out Amazon for my published fiction and nonfiction works.
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