Do Your Inactions Speak Louder Than Words?
The intersection of words, actions, and inactions gives us control over our lives and the paths we choose.
One of the greatest failings of many politicians is their lack of actions. They talk, and talk, and talk a whole lot about the wonderful things they do or will do – but do nothing actually useful. Frankly, in many cases, their real profession is lying.
Hence, inactions speak louder than words.
This doesn’t apply to only politicians, business leaders, religious leaders, and various authorities. It’s also applicable to people in our lives more directly.
There might be a loved one with a drinking or drug problem. After a particularly nasty episode, epic hangover, or other occurrence, they talk about getting clean. But then, they don’t join AA, enter into a rehab program, or take any other discernable action – and you find them drunk or high once more.
Again, inactions speak louder than words.
This can also be applied to ourselves. And it’s frequently hard to see because our individual focus tends to be narrow.
You might make a New Year’s Resolution to lose 50 pounds. You make plans for this, join a gym, and grocery shop with care. But the month passes, the New Year begins, and you always find excuses not to go to the gym. Maybe you make one healthy meal a week, but order pizza and Chinese and, rushed, regularly grab fast food along the way.
Inactions speak louder than words. Is there anything we can do about this?
Developing self-awareness and mindfulness
Self-awareness and mindfulness aren’t taught in school. If you want to get technical, it could be argued that formal education teaches various forms of groupthink, conformity, and routine.
Ever notice how small children, before schooling, play with abandon? They take joy in their imagination and a level of self-awareness still being developed with every new day, each new experience, and their growth.
When we get to college, trade school, or the workforce, self-awareness is shunted away for fitting in, doing our part, and making money so we can survive in this capitalist society. People are increasingly lost in the collective consciousness, so focused on survival that self-awareness dims.
Becoming more consciously self-aware is a choice. An entirely individual choice. You might wake up one day, tired of the rat race and mere survival, feeling a calling to do an art, start a business, or a need to understand yourself at your core. Or all of the above.
Everyone has three minds. The unconscious, the subconscious, and the conscious. The unconscious pumps blood in your veins, keeps you breathing, fires neurons to make muscles work, and so on. Your subconscious is where beliefs, values, and habits live. The subconscious is where rote and routine automate.
To access the subconscious, we have the conscious mind. The conscious mind is present, in the moment, and works both passively and actively. It’s awareness, here and how, of who, what, where, how, and why you are via your mindset/headspace/psyche.
When you actively engage conscious awareness, you become mindful. This applies to both that which is within you (thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions) and all that’s outside of you (recognized via your 6 senses).
Mindfulness is how you can choose actions over inactions.
Turning inactions into actions
When you are actively consciously aware and practicing mindfulness, you can see if your actions or inactions are speaking louder than your words.
Many of us talk a good game. We go on and on about the things we’re doing or have done, what we’re working on, plans, ideas, goals, and so on. It’s very easy to talk a lot about ourselves.
Some people carry this to the extreme, and that produces narcissists, egotists, assholes, and the like. Their arrogance, know-it-all-ness, and general self-aggrandizement either turns people off or attracts them. But either way, their inactions – in the end – speak louder than their words.
You get to choose to take action. Or not. And this is done via active, conscious awareness – mindfulness.
Mindfulness is applied when you ask yourself questions like,
- What am I thinking?
- What am I feeling?
- How am I feeling?
- What do I intend?
- What am I doing or not doing?
Each question makes you consciously aware – here and now, in the present – of yourself. And if you dislike the answer – you’re empowered to change it.
From here, you can turn inactions into actions.
But how?
Practice accountability
Because self-awareness isn’t taught in school, and frequently parents and authorities along the way also don’t teach it, we need to choose to learn it on our own. There are many resources for us to use – books, videos, blogs, podcasts, and more.
When you first begin to take the control active conscious awareness gives you, words are necessary to build empowerment. Yet moving from thought to feeling to intent to action requires steps that can get clouded, challenging, confusing – and lead to inactions.
An excellent way to turn inactions into actions is by practicing accountability. Accountability is you taking responsibility for what you do or don’t do. This is done by recognizing and acknowledging what you do.
Some people employ accountability partners. You ask a confidant to check in with you on the intent to act and see if you’re doing it. For example, let’s say you plan to go to the gym 3 days a week. Your accountability partner might go with you, holding you to actions over inactions. Or they might check in with you via text or by calling, reminding you to be accountable.
I’ve been working on holding myself accountable for my actions and inactions. There are 7 actions I strive to take every weekday. They are,
- Edit one of my works of fiction
- Write 1500 words of fiction
- Meditate 5-20 minutes
- Journal about my inner thoughts and feelings
- Exercise
- Go through my affirmations
- Drink 7+ 12-ounce glasses of water a day
To hold myself accountable I’ve got a whiteboard that sits on my desk. I check off each action. At the end of the week, I review my inactions and actions. I then note it in a journal and keep track of how I’m doing.
There’s one last, very important matter to address.
Forgive yourself for your inactions
Everyone fails to act along the way. That’s part of human nature. We plan big, set ourselves up to do something important to us, talk a whole lot about it – then don’t do it. Something got in the way, our schedule went to hell, random happenstance interfered – or laziness and procrastination won.
Often, this creates a domino effect. Inactions in one thing lead to inactions in another. Then, outside influences, societal expectations, and norms call you a failure.
I don’t know about you, but my harshest critic is myself. Nobody is more judgmental, cruel, or unkind to me than I am to myself. That’s why we need to forgive ourselves for our inactions.
Nobody’s perfect. Or rather, everyone is perfectly imperfect in their own, individual way. When our inactions speak louder than our actions or our words, it’s easy to think badly of ourselves. But that way lies madness – or more likely depression, anxiety, anger, sadness, or some combination of these.
You will fail to act. Everyone lets inactions dominate them along the way. But pause, reflect, be accountable, and then let it go. Forgive yourself for your inactions.
This takes time and practice – but recognizing the intersection of words, actions, and inactions gives us control over our lives and the paths we choose. I think that’s an utterly worthwhile pursuit.
What do you do when your inactions speak louder than words?
This is the six-hundred and fourteenth (614) exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – applying mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.
I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.
Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-post and share this.
The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out Amazon for my published fiction and nonfiction works.
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