Do You Recognize and Acknowledge Self-Sabotage When You See It?

Self-sabotage is currently staring me in the face.

self-sabotage is staring me in the face — *Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash*

There is nobody better at getting in my way than me.

I have an incredible talent for tripping myself along any given path I choose. Somehow, I manage to find a way to self-sabotage. Then, I wonder what happened and how I can stop it from happening again.

Over the past couple of years, I’ve gotten better at recognizing it when it creeps up on me. Like a Dungeons and Dragons Rogue with a high sneak-attack bonus, self-sabotage manifests from the ethers and takes the shot.

This time, though, self-sabotage rolled poorly. Its stealth failed, and I saw it coming for me.

Yes, I am personifying an intangible matter. But in doing so, I am making it tangible. With this personification, I can see it and better work with it.

Allow me to clarify. First, let’s answer this question –

What is self-sabotage?

Self-sabotage is a subconscious action or inaction that runs counter to your goals. It’s a thing you do or don’t do to interfere with something that you’re striving for.

For example, I’ve set a goal to get my weight below 200lbs in 6 months when I turn 50. I set this goal on my 49^th birthday. Halfway through the year, I have plateaued.

But that’s not the self-sabotage. The self-sabotage is how often I make excuses to enjoy foods I know are counter to my goal. Chocolate, bread, pasta, and the like – all of which are comfort foods for me – in moderation are one matter. I’ve allowed excuses to open the way to make poor choices, relax my discipline, and self-sabotage my goal as such.

Why? Because there is comfort in familiarity. And familiarity breeds contempt. That contempt gets applied to the unfamiliar – the uncertain result of achieving the goal. That departure from the comfort zone triggers subconscious beliefs, values, and habits. And before you know it – you’ve scuttled the ship and are now floating on a life-raft awaiting rescue.

But nobody can rescue me but myself. And that’s the other reality of self-sabotage. It’s entirely about and on the self.

How did I recognize I am beginning to self-sabotage?

During my recent adventure at Farpoint con, stepping out of my comfort zone made me uncomfortable. No surprise there. However, it opened my eyes to other matters that have previously played into my self-sabotages.

Many, many, many outside factors are impacting my thoughts and feelings. Ongoing pandemic issues, Putin’s attack on Ukraine, certain American politicians almost openly showing their support of Putin and not getting arrested for treason, and other crazy happenings. All of these, if I give them too much attention, are depressing and upsetting me.

However, in recognizing this, another underlying issue became more apparent. I’ve been allowing thoughts of lack, scarcity, and like negatives to dominate my present life experience.

That, in turn, has made me uncertain and to start questioning the validity of my choices. This was a stark reality that came to me at the con. I’m a self-published author with limited sales, no agent, no representation – save what I do or don’t do. This is crazy – who in the hell do I think I am to pursue this?

This led to more unpleasant and negative thoughts and feelings. But then, I paused and reflected.

I AM an author. I’ve published 9 books in 2 years. My catalog has been growing, and my stories are good. I’m always learning new things. This is what brings me joy – so why shouldn’t I do it?

Negative self-talk such as the above is like a self-sabotage alarm klaxon. And it’s easy to ignore it for background noise. This time, however, I see it for what it is.

This opened me to the recognition of the aforementioned plateau in my health journey. Outright evidence of self-sabotaging behavior.

I recognize it. I’m acknowledging it. What do I do about it?

Focus on mindfulness

Self-sabotage is a subconscious action or inaction. Often, it’s stirred by doubtful self-talk, long-held beliefs, and values coupled with fears of departing the familiarity of a comfort zone.

I know what life looks like now as an overweight self-published author satisfied at being published but lacking a sustainable ROI. There is comfort in that. I have no idea what it will be like to be healthier, in better physical shape, and earn my living via my writing. That’s uncomfortable.

My ego – tapping my subconscious – wants to keep me where I am. Who I project myself to be to the world – the dreamer almost-but-not-yet-there author who’s heavyset but still super-capable despite that – is projected both within and without. It’s safe, familiar, and I know it well.

Recognizing this – and the acts of self-sabotage I’m performing – is empowering. Why? Because knowing is half the battle, and conscious awareness provides my arsenal.

This is where mindfulness comes into play. By being consciously aware of my subconscious beliefs, values, and habits – as well as my ego – I can make new choices. Mindfulness lets me take direct control over my thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.

That control is how I can stop and reverse the actions and inactions of self-sabotage.

Thoughts and feelings go into all actions and intentions. By working to be consciously aware – mindful – of this, I can better control my actions and intentions. In that way, I can stop and overcome self-sabotage.

What actions do I take now?

In my present situation, I know there are several things I can do to stop and reverse self-sabotage. They include,

Don’t go down the bad-news rabbit hole. Know what’s happening – but remember that I can do very little about it.
Stop and think before I eat. Yes, chocolate, pizza, and sandwiches are comforting – but I can choose better, and I know it.
Make the time to journal and meditate. Forgive myself on days I don’t.
Spend time checking in with myself to turn around thoughts of lack and scarcity. When they come up – acknowledge and then counter them.
Make time to do the second walk or get on the stationary bike daily.
Put effort into writing fiction every day. Forgive myself on days I don’t.

More generally, I need to actively be mindful. Pause, reflect, recognize, and acknowledge what I am thinking, what and how I am feeling, the actions I do and don’t take, and the intentions behind them.

Another aspect of self-sabotage is making excuses to not practice active mindfulness.

I know self-sabotage when I see it. Now, I alone can turn it around. I’ve done it before – I have consciously created my reality more than once. It can be done again. Maybe an accountability partner or seeing a therapist should be considered to help.

Now I know. What I do from here – or not – will decide if I push through and maybe succeed – or – self-sabotage and definitely fail. The former is preferable to the latter.

Do you recognize and acknowledge self-sabotage when you see it?

This is the five-hundred and thirty-second exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – using mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-post and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out Amazon for my published fiction and nonfiction works.

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