Do You Give Your Best and Do Your Best?
This is not in comparison to anyone else.
I strive to be the best person that I can be. As a friend, a worker, a family member, a lover – I work to do my best and give my best.
However, there is only one person who can judge what my best is. Me.
My best is about being genuine, authentic, true to myself, and expending necessary effort. It doesn’t matter what the topic at hand is – nobody else can define what my best is but me.
One problem I’ve run into with this over the years is comparison. It’s hard not to compare yourself to others. No matter how hard you might work not to – it’s difficult to avoid.
Why? Because we live in a fear-based society. Much of the fear-base focuses on lack, scarcity, and insufficiency. We get repeatedly told that there’s not enough “X”, too little “Y”, and that we are in competition for these.
Add to that a consumer-driven culture where you’re being regularly sold crap you think you need – but probably don’t.
Additionally, this isn’t just about tangible, material things. It’s often further spread to the immaterial.
Hence, my best and your best on a given topic get compared, contrasted, and judged one versus the other. By you, by me, and seemingly be “them”, too.
The thoughts and feelings of others are outside your control
No matter what you do – you have no control at all over how anyone else thinks or feels. Even the people closest to you. You can control only yourself and your life.
While sometimes that can feel really limiting, the truth is that it’s deeply freeing. Why? Because it relieves a lot of external pressure when you get right down to it.
If you are being genuine, honest, and true to yourself – and you give your best and do your best – then whose expectations are you living up to? Yours, and yours alone. Since the thoughts and feelings of others are outside of your control, you can’t know how anything you do impacts anyone else.
One very important caveat here – don’t be a dick. When you give your best and do your best, it’s about the effort you’re expending. Though you have no control over the thoughts and feelings of others – that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take them into consideration. Giving your best and doing your best should do no harm to anyone else.
Kindness, compassion, and empathy should be part of giving your best and doing your best. Why? Because I’ve yet to meet a single person who doesn’t desire to receive kindness, compassion, and empathy from others.
Knowing that you have no control over the thoughts and feelings of others, you can stop trying to do for others and live up to expectations that aren’t your own or don’t suit you. Give your best and do your best as it pertains to you being your most authentic, genuine, truest self.
How do you give your best and do your best?
As with just about everything that makes you, you, knowing what your best is comes down to active conscious awareness.
Yes, that means we’re going to get into mindfulness here.
Mindfulness can be about awareness of the world outside of you, but frankly, that gets too much focus. In fact, lots of things and people want you focused without rather than within. Why? Because if your focus is external rather than internal, you lose sight of yourself.
Losing sight of yourself means you aren’t capable of being your most genuine, authentic self. Simply because you’re unfamiliar with that. And when you’re less familiar with yourself, you become easier to manipulate. Ever notice how the people most swayed by others seem least self-aware?
Real mindfulness is active conscious awareness of yourself by knowing what you’re thinking, what and how you’re feeling, your intentions, and your actions. These coupled with your six senses tell you who, what, where, how, and why you are.
Knowing who, what, where, how, and why you are makes you more genuinely and authentically you. And then, from here, you can give your best and do your best.
While this looks easy, there’s still a challenge. This comes from being social creatures.
Other people
You have other people in your life. Friends, family, coworkers, that clerk at the convenience store you see every morning, the neighbor with the gorgeous dog you always pass on your walks, and so on. And as far as your brain knows, each and every one of them is judging you.
Your brain believes that their thoughts and feelings get directed towards you in a judgmental way, no matter what you do. People you know and don’t know – when they encounter you – pass judgment about you.
Your brain is convinced of this. But is it true?
For the most part – no. Maybe – at the moment of encountering someone – they have or form an opinion of you. Chances are, however, it passes when you do. No true judgment is formed.
How do I know this? Do you judge random people? Sometimes, you probably do. But for the most part – they just pass.
Yes, it’s more likely the people close to you, or regularly interacting with you, judge you in some way or other. How do I know that? Because if I form judgments of people in my life, you surely form judgments of people in your life.
But – here’s the rub – how well does anyone know you? The answer is – only as well as you can know them. What does that mean? It means you, and you alone are in your head, heart, and soul. Ergo, only you truly, genuinely know you – like only I truly, genuinely know me.
Because we’re social creatures, we still take other people into account in all that we do. But the thoughts and feelings of others are outside of our control.
Give your best and do your best
The only judgment that matters – when all is said and done – is yours. But this is not regarding other people. This is about you.
The harshest judge of me and everything I do or don’t do tends to be myself. Nobody can be as unkind, uncompassionate, or unempathetic towards me as I can be towards myself. I’d bet that’s true for you, too.
Most of us have been wired by our parents, teachers, leaders, and other authorities to be harshest in judging ourselves. That’s because we’ve been regularly and frequently measured against other people, standards and norms, and lots of intangibles that – upon close examination – make little to no sense.
You, and you alone, can know you. To begin to get to know yourself, practicing active conscious awareness – mindfulness – opens the door to more complete knowledge and self-awareness. From there, you can find the measure of and for you where you best exist.
Then, you can give your best and do your best in anything you exert effort for. Your best isn’t measured against anyone or anything else. It’s measured solely up against you and your skills, abilities, talents, and everything else that makes you the complete package.
Finally – you are worthy and deserving of giving your best and doing your best. It’s good enough because when you’re true and genuine with yourself, you present the world with the amazing, singular, unique badass that you really, truly, are.
This is one of my daily affirmations:
I give my best. I do my best. The thoughts and feelings of others are outside of my control.
That’s true for everyone.
Do you give your best and do your best to the best of your ability?
This is the six-hundred and sixteenth (616) exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – applying mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.
I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.
Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-post and share this.
The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out Amazon for my published fiction and nonfiction works.
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