Crossing the Bridges: Knowing the Path vs Walking the Path
Frequently I have claimed to suffer from ADOS. ADOS = Attention Deficit…Oooooooooh, Shiny!
(I do not claim this phrase as my own, someone else I know put it out there, not me – but I use it rather a lot).
This is not so much a medical disorder, as it is an inability to focus or keep one’s eyes on the prize or to get pulled in a million directions or…
Be right back. Something else has my attention at the moment!
Sometimes I am very easily distracted. In particular, this happens when I am attempting to write or edit. Maybe the TV is on in the background, or I’m reading posts across Facebook and Twitter, or I start messaging someone on the phone or a cat leaps onto my keyboard or the back of my chair…suddenly, my plan for writing and editing time has evaporated.
As I have mentioned before, I have a lot of different worlds I am bridging in my life. Writing, however, is my passion. This is why three times a week I post to this blog, on three different topics.
While I love writing my blogs, my greater passion lies in my works of fiction and my non-fiction books. While I currently have several works published, I have a couple underway, and a few in need of both my own and professional editing.
So I desire to put time in either writing or editing those works. This has to happen either on weekends, or early in the morning or during the evening.
I have attempted to discipline myself to write. This has not gone well, as so far ADOS divides my attention, and before I know it in the morning I have to go to work, or in the evening it gets so late that I cannot focus, and I need to rest.
What can I do about my ADOS problem? How DO I force myself to do this work…without forcing myself to do it?
See, this is part of the problem here. I lack in discipline. I have nobody to blame but myself for this, and knowing that I have this issue it is entirely up to me to do something, if anything, about it.
I can make up any number of excuses. I won’t deny that I enjoy lazily waking up in the morning, sipping coffee and playing games on Facebook. Similarly, I like watching TV in the evening and vegging out on the couch, or goofing off online with no particular goal or focus, before getting sleepy and heading off to bed. While these are times where I could maintain some productivity, it’s not the habit I am currently into.
And that right there is the big elephant in the room. Habit. I have established habits of my behavior that, while I would not call them losery, I can identify them as lazy. That, however, is rather unfair of me towards myself, so it may be better instead to call this habits, simply, comfortable.
Do you wake up refreshed, energized, and rested and ready to tackle the day ahead? If so…what DOES that feel like? I cannot recall the last time I awakened feeling like that. I usually awaken groggy, semi-rested but in a fog for a while as my brain boots up for the new day.
On the other side of the coin, do you fall asleep moments after your head hits the pillow? Again, I have no idea what that might be like, it usually takes me 10 to 20 minutes to fall asleep on any given night.
I am in no way making excuses for myself here, just explaining where the comfort of my current habits has its roots. I seldom awaken in the morning ready to go. Also, I am rarely in bed before midnight, and once in bed falling asleep takes time, too. As such I have formed comfortable habits around these matters, which are deeply ingrained after years and years of practice.
The choice before me is thus: Accept my habits and work with, through and around them, OR strive to change them. Deep down I want, and even need, to change them. This begs the inevitable question of – What do I have to do in order to do that, then?
This is the challenge I am working with. I want to change these habits, but so far my attempts have been…shall we say, less than successful. Like just the other morning, I got up, I got some necessary tasks done, and I was all set to get my gear and head to the gym…and then, oooooooooooo, shiny! Before I knew it I was enraptured by something online, and before I knew it had only enough time to hit the shower and get dressed before I needed to get on the road to work.
I know that there is no magic bullet to make this change go forward. Just like losing weight or altering any other habit, I will need focus, I will need discipline. But before I even consider that, what I need right now is forgiveness.
I need to forgive myself when my plan for change goes awry. I need to let go of my annoyance with myself over my lack of discipline, because that just pulls me down and worsens matters. Lower vibration won’t attract what I want. I know what I need to work on, and if one means to the end is failing, that means I need to find and employ another.
If I really want to change my habits, and not let ADOS dominate my time, I know what I have to do. I can see the path…I alone can choose to know it, or know it and walk it.
Stay tuned!
this is something I can and should make more of for my life. So I will take the necessary steps in order to get there.
Fine, something I tried to do fell through. Ok, onwards and forwards. There are other matters for me to work on, other things I want and need to do to build up my life. I will take the actions necessary to manifest my dreams. That is my intent. That is my plan.
I know this week is a bit rambling and touching on a couple disparate point. Welcome to my world. And again, thank you for joining me on this crazy voyage.
Thank you for crossing the bridges between my worlds with me!
This is the sixth entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series. My collectively published writing can be found here.
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