Crossing the Bridges: Getting to the Other Side
I can see across the bridge. So how come it feels like I will never get to the other side?
Look familiar? I don’t know anyone who has not dealt with this sort of thing. You know where you want to go, you’ve a pretty good idea how to get there, you are on your way…yet it seems like you will never manage to arrive.
The metaphor of Crossing the Bridges can feel very literal at times. I am where I am now, I was there yesterday, and I see where I want and need to be tomorrow. Equally as real is the frustration over the perception of the inability to arrive where you intend to.
Knowing all of this, what can I do to help myself reach the other side of the bridge? The short answer is to start feeling how it will feel to arrive.
This is, of course, frequently easier said than done. I find that as much as I know how this works, and I am clear on the mechanics of it, I nevertheless struggle to see the world I consider ahead of me in the now.
It is for this reason that I get stuck, and from there get frustrated about my life. I have a plan, I have a vision and bridges to cross and goals, and yet I never manage to reach them. Why? Because I always see them ahead of me, forthcoming, eventual…and not in the here and now, already accomplished and won.
I keep returning to this point because I still do not fully grasp it. I know from experience how this works, I know that this can be used to manifest much awesomeness, and yet I still find myself struggling to shift my mindset and to think about and feel what I want to achieve as though it is done.
A lot of this is focus related. I am aware that I suffer from an acute case of what I call ADOS – Attention Deficit Ooooooooooooo, Shiny! Syndrome. I see something, I give it some attention…and then almost without knowing it my focus scatters, and I am looking at something else.
Some of this is the result of poor habits. I allow myself to get overwhelmed, rather than chunk down activities so that they get done in smaller blocks and spurts, and instead get distracted. I watch TV, I goof off online, I just let my mind wander to…whatever. Instead of using the time I have more effectively, I fritter much of it away on pointless endeavors.
That’s not to say there is entirely no value in distractions. Life is too ridiculous to be constantly taken seriously. We need breaks, we need distractions, we need to allow ourselves to relax and get chill. Of course, what’s more complex is when one distraction leads to another, and the distraction gets all my attention and focus.
Right now, Politics is a pretty massive distraction for me. I am deeply distressed by a great deal of what is happening here in the USA, not to mention other issues around the world. I strive to do my part to effect change, but it is far too easy to let the situation get control of my time, attention and energy. This, in turn, does nothing positive to my mindset, making me angry, frustrated, and otherwise discontent that I can only do so much to alter things.
Major distraction. This, along the way, keeps my focus and attention away from what I want to work on. It’s hard to manifest the life I desire when I am frequently giving my attention to things I really DON’T want.
What this tells me is that I need to make some fundamental changes to my habits. I have been attempting to do this for a while now, but not with enough intention and actions.
This brings up probably the worst habit I have. Often, rather than really put in the work I know I need to do, I will half-ass it. My ambition only goes so far, before it peters out, and I continue to give it effort, but not all that I should. I got through most of my education this way, to be perfectly honest. Just a small amount more energy and effort and I could have had a far more impressive GPA. I do not fully apply myself, and while my work may be good, it could still be much better.
This is, in part, a matter of self-sabotage. Due to my twin fears of both success and failure, I subconsciously step back when I should step-up, because I am afraid that if I give it my all and succeed or fail I will somehow suffer. If I do merely a sufficient effort, there is less pressure to succeed or fail, which is another factor in what holds me back from manifesting my goals.
I have to give this my all. I need to strive to put more energy into my goals, and not to let myself get distracted or self-sabotage. I have habits in need of changing, and I know what they are and where to begin. I will strive to better chunk-down my time, so that I give the work I want to do more focus, and I will take a closer look at my bad habits, and work on replacing them with better ones.
This will be another interesting challenge. Thanks for reading along. I will keep you abreast of my progress. As always, thank you for crossing the bridges between my worlds with me!
GOAL LOG – Week 9:
Diet: I am being more mindful about what and how much I am eating.
Exercise: Two days of fencing, one at the gym.
Writing: The three blogs got written, but I got started on editing Harbinger over 2 days.
Meditation: I meditated 1 days last week for about 8 minutes.
Gratitude: I wrote out 5 things four days last week.
This is the twenty-third entry of my personal journey, the Crossing the Bridges series. My collectively published writing can be found here.
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