Choosing the So-Called “Easy Path” is not Easy
The “easy path” is what leads many people to depression, anxiety, and the like.
What is the easy path? The easy path is the conventional path. It’s doing the expected and shoehorning yourself into a “normal” life.
To be fair, there are people for whom this is fine. A normal, conventional life makes them content, happy, and fulfilled. I have nothing but respect for that – and if you are in that boat, more power to you.
Unfortunately, I think there are far more people for whom the conventional life is fraught with discomfort, pain, anxiety, depression, and a nagging sense that something is missing.
Modern American society has this notion that if you work long enough and hard enough you can succeed. For the most part, that looks like this: Put in your 8-12 hours a day, 5 days a week, working for “the man,” for 40+ years. Buy a house, get married, raise a family. Retire and enjoy your grandkids, travel, or do whatever excites you as a retiree. Just take the easy path and follow along and you’ll succeed.
While that works for some people – there are more for whom it doesn’t work. The “easy path” doesn’t account for diversity, alternative life choices, and anything else that might make one stand out.
This is ironic, since those who “stand out” get the raises, promotions, and bonuses in the standard model. Again, that’s perfectly fine for some.
But when that’s not what lights you up and interests you – you might still try to take that easy path because you think it is easy and you can alter yourself to traverse it.
The truth is – this is the equivalent of fitting a square peg into a round hole and the like.
One size seldom fits all
The things that I desire for my life are not the things you desire. They may have similarities and look alike in various ways – but they aren’t. And that’s because you and I are not the same.
The “standard” or “normal” way to live is not for everybody. Nor should it be. Let’s face it – if everyone did a 9-5 job in an office, who’d bake cakes for celebrations, create art for decorations, TV shows and movies for unwinding and entertainment, and design fabulous technology allowing instant global communications?
Artists, scientists, educators, actors, singers, and other creatives recognized how the “normal” life was not for them. Thus, they didn’t try to put on the one-size-fits-all work clothes and instead made their own way.
We know the names of many of the greats who did this. History is full of people like William Shakespeare, Marie Curie, Pablo Picasso, Albert Einstein, Jennifer Lawrence, and the like. But for each of these known personalities, there are probably a hundred more artists, scientists, teachers, and the like who took their own path successfully.
If your calling is not the supposed easy path in life – but you try to take that easy path anyhow – you will be facing unique challenges that make the easy path anything but easy.
That’s not to say you can’t do this. But it’s important to recognize that it will impact you and your mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical health.
Don’t deny who you are
Lots of people don’t want to deal with not fitting in. Further, they buy into the narratives that tell them the paths that are not the “easy path” are hardest to travel. They see the struggles of teachers, starving artists, and scientists working as underpaid and un-respected adjunct professors – and determine the standard, supposedly easy path is easier.
Many, in choosing this, shunt away their passion. They stop writing, painting, making music, researching, creating, or doing whatever it is that evoked passion in their life. They deny themselves the joy of that thing – and then wonder why they’re miserable.
Let’s be blunt here – not everyone can pursue their passion. Many people take the easy path because it presents as the only path. I know, for example, I have a certain degree of privilege that allows me to choose my path freely at this time.
I tried to take the so-called easy path more than once. And it made me depressed, left me feeling empty and wanting. To get where I am now, I fought a lot of conflicting beliefs and values instilled in me when I was too young to filter them.
But if you are on that “easy path” you would not have chosen if you felt you’d had a choice – it’s important to make time for your passion, rather than deny who you are.
If you can’t do it professionally or full-time, allow yourself space to make it a hobby.
By making at least some time to pursue that passion that’s not the “normal” – you open yourself to an outlet of positivity that can help you find and/or create the necessary work/life balance.
What’s more – there is nothing that says a hobby can’t become a career in time.
The easy path is seductive
Human beings need connections. We need to form connections with one another because we’re social animals.
Connections can be as small as a couple and as large as a community. We share ideals, beliefs, values, and other things to a greater or lesser extent that connect us.
Sometimes, though, the communities become unwieldy. Then you get broad ideals and “norms” for how life is supposed to work. In the extreme, conflict ensues when each side espouses superiority of their system of being over one another.
Hence, in 2021, you have a broad culture where the notion of being “normal” is how you fit into society and make more connections. If you take the supposed “easy path” laid out before you – more people will accept you and connect to you.
And that is extremely seductive. Who doesn’t want to be liked, thought well of, respected, and generally regarded?
Choosing a path apart from the easy path sets you apart. While some relish in that and desire to be separate and unique – others fear it.
When your calling is not “normal” – choosing to pursue it risks connectivity. Thus, many will heed the siren call of the easy path and go with it – even though it’s not at all how they desire life to be.
How do we normalize and better accept paths that are not the “normal” easy path? That’s up to you and me.
See all chosen paths as the easy path
How often do you get into a conversation with multiple friends or family members, and start talking about one specific individual? What gets said about the person who has chosen an unconventional path? At least someone will comment about it being foolish, dangerous, lacking, or some other negative remark.
You and I need to choose to
- not participate in this commentary, and
- callout others when they do.
When you and I are more accountable for how we view the paths of others – we can help expand that. When someone says “Can you believe Bob is pursuing an acting career? How crazy is that?” instead of agreeing or diagraming how crazy that could be – you and I need to say, “I can believe it – and I think it’s awesome. What can we do to support Bob?”
Rather than perpetuate the lack of ease or normalcy, you and I can move to expand it. But this is a choice – and it can have a price. Because now, not only is “Bob” and his choice suspect – so am I in supporting him.
But if you remain silent and complacent – you’ll eventually have no legs to stand on when it matters. Choices unchosen erode future choices away. If you and I don’t act to expand the perception of the easy path it will remain small and lacking in diversity and options.
If you choose the easy path, it’s important to recognize that the easy path is what leads many people to depression, anxiety, and the like. This is why if the path is not entirely what you most desire, you should not deny your passion. Find an outlet for it so that you can maintain and nurture it.
Remember – you are worthy and deserving of an amazing life and any paths you choose.
What paths have you chosen during your life – and what might you choose going forward?
This is the four-hundred and ninety-third exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are ideas for – and my personal experiences with – mindfulness and walking along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.
I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way. Additionally, I desire to empower myself and my readers with conscious reality creation.
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The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. My additional writing, both fiction and non-fiction, are available here.
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